feeling worthless

senorita2007 · Nov 6, 2008

hi friend
some husbands are genetically stingy. they learn it in childhood from their parents or other elderly figures in their life.
So dont take it personally, its got nothing to do with you. U said that he took excellent care of you during pregnancy, I think that love and affection is worth so many grand gifts....

preserve that love, its priceless. Dont have expectations about gifts from your hubby in future and save your disappointments

sreshta · Nov 6, 2008

Hi Tulips,
I can understand how much his stinginess disturbs you.I saw your previous thread also.Hope you are aware of the job market now.Some men feel very insecure about the future.Be happy that he is not spending on drinks, and buying gifts for others.When I was newly married, whatever hubby bought for me, he used to buy for his sister also.He used to grumble for buying farex, nestum etc...had only 2 or 3 sets in his wardrobe,.....now he has changed...
Last year one relative got married, and you know what....the whole family-husband, his mother, father and sister went along with them to honeymoon!!!!
Discuss with him about his future plans, how you can help him in his business etc..and assure of financial security .You two seem to be a good pair.Find ways to be happy with your DH and baby....:thumbsup
Love
Sreshta

tulips · Nov 7, 2008

hi friends..

i told my hubby that i felt very bad that he gave me such things... u know what he said...
he dint find anything wrong in it.. he wanted to make me happy thats why he got...he was very busy with his work so had no time to shop it seems...ya shreshta , like u said my husband also grudges abt buying baby things,, but i make sure that my baby gets everything. whats the use in earning so much without even spending for baby, that too we too struggle a lot with our husbands for them to earn..

like all of u said i dont expect much from my hubby..all these years i never asked him to buy me anything except for our baby or some household items that we need.. i have zero personal expenses.

ya itoo feel like we are good pair and my hubby loves me a lot... but sometimes when i think deeply it just seems to me like a platonic relationship.. we r very good friends... thatsall , i never feel intimate to him....is it normal???? i have my barriers with him, dont talk too personal just stuff like this and that... college days thats all.. i think thats the reason our life is going so smoothly..i hope to go to a job soon when my son gets one year old..but with the economy in recession, i wonder whether i ll get or not..

also i wanted to say onething... these people expect this and that during marriage from our parents and find fault with what they give, saying that its their duty to do .... but how do they treet their wives after marriege???is it not also their duty to do things for their wife???

with love
tulips

sreshta · Nov 8, 2008

Hi Tulips,
It is definitely the husband's duty to see that the girl who left her place, parents and everything and came to live with him is happy.Girls once married should see that her husband is happy with her.So both ways, make each other feel worthy...
Make a few moves from your side to bring romance, intimacy and togetherness in the relation so that he looks forward to be with you...that will create an attachment and it strengthens the love bond...
Be his lover
Cook food that he loves
Appreciate his look
Laugh together sharing jokes or watching together such stuffs...
[Laugh for his silly jokes(?!)too]
Take time and create atmosphere to Watch romantic /adult films together
Throw a special glance of appreciation at him now and then...
Live your life,dear....this dullness will vanish...small fights sometimes add spice...only see that the union after that brings more joy...
Love
Sreshta