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feeling worthless

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by tulips, Nov 5, 2008.

  1. tulips

    tulips New IL'ite

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    hi..

    it had been long since i visited indusladies...
    this has been 3 years of marriage..evrething now going smoothly after initial years of trouble.. yesterday was our anniversary...my huband had got me metal chain and matching two hairpins...along with a little perfume bottle.... i really felt very insulted.. last year when his mother was here, she was getting such chains for her servants..he scolded her for getting such cheap gifts.. but now he is giving the same to me....last week i had ma birthday and he gave me a glass bowl and two frying pans... we have a really very smooth relation now and he says that he loves me so much everyday...he earns really really very well and has no commitments back home... i dont know why is he doing like this...does he really love me or not...am i such worthless.. i have a 5 moth old baby and managing alone, mother couldnt come for delivery.... but he took very good care of me... when it comes to money , he behaves like this... iam confused whether he loves me or not... iam not a materialistic person... even if he dint give me any gift its ok for me..1st anniversary no gifts nor any celabration .. that was totally fine for for me rather than this.....he is not allowing me to go for job also... i was a really intelligent girl with excelled grades in school and college... but i dint go for work only for him..my parents gave me best in everything.... i have a lot of jwells given by ma parents... i really dont need anything from him rather than hurting like this....i tried letting it go..also could not control my laughter thinking of his gifts...but iam very upset..help me console girls...

    with love...
     
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2008
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  2. sreshta

    sreshta New IL'ite

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    Re: feeling very hurt and insulted..

    Hi
    Your hubby really loves you....Many men don't know how to buy gifts etc...Don't take it to heart and next time, you can suggest a few things which you would like to have as gifts....
    All the best!
    Sreshta
     
  3. Chandramukhi

    Chandramukhi Senior IL'ite

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    Re: feeling very hurt and insulted..

    Hi T,

    I always tell my husband what Iwould like to have for my birthday or anniversary. If I don't tell him I won't get anything! Atleast your hubby buys you a present.
     
  4. rosenav

    rosenav Silver IL'ite

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    Re: feeling very hurt and insulted..

    Same here I always tell him what i want as a gift ... and all he does he picks that up and gives it to me, in that way you get wat u want and no disspointments as well......... and sometime he does bring suprise gifts and at the same time he keeps the receipt so if i dnt like i can exchange it :thumbsup

    so next time you can try this .. no harm, remember if u dnt ask you dnt get:idea
     
  5. asha_karthik

    asha_karthik Silver IL'ite

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    hi tulips.. cheer up. as sreshta and others hv told, men dont know to get gifts. he might not hv liked the model ur mil had got for her servant.. thats the way men judge. there could be few men who knew what a good gift is like, but they might not be able to take care of his wife during pregnancy and post-delivery. thats a great thing he has done. just talk to him abt the gifts he has got.. and laugh it out along with him.
     
  6. Noorie

    Noorie New IL'ite

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    Hello tulip

    Please take care of yourself and baby, dnt stress on this matter. My husband never given gift on anniversary just for my birthday that intial years of marriage now after seven year of marriage nothing.
    Atleast your husband taken good care during pregnancy. Some men are like that just dnt know how to love wife
     
  7. tulips

    tulips New IL'ite

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    hi all

    hi all... thanks for ur reply...

    ya as all of u said i let it go thinking that men dont know to give gifts... but the problem is not with gifts... its with money.. my husband has never felt comfortable spending money for me all these years.... actually the day b4 our anniversary he took me to a shop telling that he is going to buy swarovski for me but i think he felt they were costly and hence got me a cheap alternative to that the next day.... when he gave, i asked whether its swarovski, he said its similar to that.....will a person do that to loved ones when they can afford????
    :idontgetit:
     
  8. Chandramukhi

    Chandramukhi Senior IL'ite

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    Re: feeling very hurt and insulted..

    Hi Rosenav,

    My hubby doesn't even pick it up! I have to go to the store~with him to buy my present :)))
    Come to think of it, a few years ago he bought me really nice earrings for Chrsitmas. On top of that he bought presents for the whole family!
    So now I have to wait another decennia before I receive a gift I did not know about!
     
  9. Chandramukhi

    Chandramukhi Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Tulips,

    I think he has a "problem" spending money.

    May be he is thinking I can do other things with that money instead of buying for example Swarovski items or other expensive items.

    Have you asked him about this?



     
  10. cute teddy

    cute teddy Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi friend,:)

    What i feel is he is trying to test you, by being silent...

    Males are like that he is doing this bcoz he wants to see how do you react to that.... if you react this way he wins...
    ao stay calm
    and wear that in fornt of his his friends when you go for any gatherning.
    and make him feel for a while that he and his gift is special to you ...
    just see how he reacts....
    and alwasy remember
    bin mange moti mile mange mile na beek....(IN HINDI)
    so never ask for anything....

    No offence to anyones comments friends:)
     

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