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Feeling little low

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by veeramachaneni, Aug 30, 2012.

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  1. Aug 30, 2012 #1
    veeramachaneni

    veeramachaneni Platinum IL'ite

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    Hmm I am feeling so Low and and and Bad about all the things happening to me recently. I even took Off from work. I know I should n't be feeling bad But consider this as a Vent :rant :rant

    One of my Cousin had a miscarriage and I called her and spoke with her when it happened. After that I didn't bring that topic again intentionally because I had to go through the same thing before my DD and I didn't like people bringing it up all the time and I hated and cried all the time when that topic was on.

    She stopped talking to me and started telling everyone that I didn't gave her enough support when she was going through a tough time.

    I felt very bad hearing this.

    My Friend is having some ceremony to her Daughter. She told me that she is inviting only 2 people and no one else. Didn't tell me to come over.

    Never called me. Now claiming that She forgot and I should have called her and reminded about tat or would have come to that ceremony with out invite since I am close. :bonk:bonk

    I am clueless I am thinking is there something wrong with me? Or am I
    meeting wrong people??

    Dh is telling me to give a fake smile and ignore. I know I should e doing tat But I am not:bonk:bonk

    She "who is my so called best friend" I am feeling so bad over so many things happened in the past. Like she will come to my house and take all the nice dresses, I was cool with it and I always considered her like my sister.
    She didn't even buy her Maternity clothes because she got pregnant after mine. She wore the ones that I purchased for myself. Same thing with baby stuff and everything.

    When My parents are here I asked them to bring my friend also one nice dress and kurtas, some eatables she wanted.

    When her parents came they brought her kurtas and everything but she didn't even showed me which dresses they brought from India. Also she asked them to bring small frocks to 2 of my friends daughters but not to my DD.

    I felt so bad and felt like she used me. DH says no Big Deal and I shouldn't expect gifts just because I gave them. I know that but it just the way she made me feel.

    I never confront people and it is getting really hard for me to talk to her like before. So many things like this happened. I will share as I recollect them.
     
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2012
    veeramachaneni, Aug 30, 2012
    veeramachaneni, Aug 30, 2012
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  2. Aug 30, 2012 #2
    maroon

    maroon Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Vee, I can totally relate to you as I too have some people around me like that.
    We always wish well for them, we think they are very close to us and believe its the same of us with them, but then there come some incidents where they make us doubt. I guess its possible that friendship means different to different people. Some are less expressive and take it casually, whereas some can do just about anything for friends. So its just that when you are very sensitive and your friend is not so, then she just wouldn't measure up to your expectations. So please don't feel low dear, its not that you are lacking something...
     
    maroon, Aug 30, 2012
    maroon, Aug 30, 2012
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  3. Aug 30, 2012 #3
    blessed

    blessed Platinum IL'ite

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    No Dear nothing is wrong with you,,, i know how hurting it is to being ignored by close friends... and they saying " I forgot" is just not acceptable....

    A similar thing happened with me, there's a lady in my lane who constructed a house on her 1st floor and we share a good relationship like I invite her for all the pooja's and vice versa... she even showed me the plans of the building while on construction.. and then they had satyanaraya pooja which she said only her family members are invited and I to told her that's a good idea... but actually I came to know that some of the neighbours were also invited including my immediate neighbour... this hurt me so.... badly that I was feeling so... low the whole day... my DH thought I was really acting stupid.. and told me that its there wish whom to call and not to call.... one day she is casually telling me that she actually informed me about the pooja and why I didnt join them... the same dialogue you are so close so you don't need an invite... how strange when she told me it is only among family members how does she expect me to attend it...

    It happens with these kind of people around... just cheer up.. you will so many nice people around who u can count upon....
     
    blessed, Aug 30, 2012
    blessed, Aug 30, 2012
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  4. Aug 30, 2012 #4
    brahan

    brahan Platinum IL'ite

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    True..This has happened to me also. People tell us about some Events. They dont even say words like "Welcome" or "Come for the occasion". So i am in a dilemma if its a FYI or an invite..I dont need a Formal Invite, but whats wrong in saying "Please come for the occasion".
     
    brahan, Aug 30, 2012
    brahan, Aug 30, 2012
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  5. Aug 30, 2012 #5
    veeramachaneni

    veeramachaneni Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you Maroon. These 2 are just the incidents happened over a week. I have so many incidents going on this whole month and I am feeling so bad that why is it happening to me all the time. :(

    Thank you for the reply.


     
    veeramachaneni, Aug 30, 2012
    veeramachaneni, Aug 30, 2012
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  6. Aug 30, 2012 #6
    veeramachaneni

    veeramachaneni Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Blesses - so funny right. Why would any one go when they didn't invite us. It is so ridiculous.
    She "who is my so called best friend" I am feeling so bad over so many things happened in the past. Like she will come to my house and take all the nice dresses, I was cool with it and I always considered her like my sister.
    She didn't even buy her Maternity clothes because she got pregnant after mine. She wore the ones that I purchased for myself. Same thing with baby stuff and everything.

    When My parents are here I asked them to bring my friend also one nice dress and kurtas, some eatables she wanted.

    When her parents came they brought her kurtas and everything but she didn't even showed me which dresses they brought from India. Also she asked them to bring small frocks to 2 of my friends daughters but not to my DD.

    I felt so bad and felt like she used me. DH says no Big Deal and I shouldn't expect gifts just because I gave them. I know that but it just the way she made me feel.

    I never confront people and it is getting really hard for me to talk to her like before. So many things like this happened. I will share as I recollect them.

     
    veeramachaneni, Aug 30, 2012
    veeramachaneni, Aug 30, 2012
    #6
  7. Aug 30, 2012 #7
    veeramachaneni

    veeramachaneni Platinum IL'ite

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    So true Brahan. She told me that she is inviting only Family.
     
    veeramachaneni, Aug 30, 2012
    veeramachaneni, Aug 30, 2012
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  8. Aug 30, 2012 #8
    anjananathan

    anjananathan Platinum IL'ite

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    might be you are giving too much importance to not so important people..
    might be u felt they are close but they did not feel that way..
    might be you did not express ur affection in the way the other person will understand ..

    if one or two does it, they could be wrong.. if everyone does that, might be you are wrong somewhere.. just think about it instead of feeling bad.. world is too big and u can find many friends :)
     
    anjananathan, Aug 30, 2012
    anjananathan, Aug 30, 2012
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  9. Aug 30, 2012 #9
    veeramachaneni

    veeramachaneni Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you Anjana - I felt bad the way my cousin reacted. Everything else is to do with my best friend/


     
    veeramachaneni, Aug 30, 2012
    veeramachaneni, Aug 30, 2012
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  10. Aug 31, 2012 #10
    1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    Dont worry so much about it. It has nothing to do with you. Its her problem. she was careless and trying to hide her carelessness with a 'oh but...' She is taking you for granted.

    Pull back a little. If she pretends to be innocent and say 'oh you are invited of course!' say clearly, 'I prefer to be invited specifically. I am not in the habit of going to functions without a specifc invitation. It doesnt matter how well or not I know the person. You didnt invite me so I didnt come.' Make it clear and then drop the topic. Next time she will know what she has to do.

    About the dresses though, I would give her benefit of doubt. Lot of times, the dress size is guesswork, and they may have realized only after her parents came that it is too small for your dd? I have seen that happen with me and couple of people. Luckily they explained so no hurt feelings.
     
    1Sandhya, Aug 31, 2012
    1Sandhya, Aug 31, 2012
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