Feeling like a worm...

Hi all,
You have really written your feelings on this topic very well...
sorry for the big story..couldnt keep it small.

Dear Sri (Cheeniya), I really admire your self-pondering.A man like you would definitely have more accomplishments in life, more than killing cockroaches. The accomplishments would have been indirect.thats the difference.Please dont ever feel selfpity.
In this old man on the road happening, though to this oldman we could have promised we will give more money than the boy promised if he comes aside and the boy would have learnt a lesson from that, at that time it wont strike us.Nobody knows how they will react to a thing unless they r in the exact situation.
This reminds me a thing which happenned bcos of me. In Delhi me,my husband and my 1 year old were waiting to catch an auto on the road side.We were about to head to our flight to coimbatore which was in 2 hours.It was a very wide oneway road.We actually signalled all the autos that passed by to chk whether we can board.Suddenly an auto person who was coming from a distance saw us showing hands and he came to our side of the road(though its legal oneway direction).He tried coming from that side to this side in a short distance and so hit a scooter and that scooter person felldown.We were shocked watching all this. The scooter person rouse like an angry tiger..I was really literally stunned .I know it will b hard for a person who fell down for no mistake of his.But I have not seen any person like this. He went running to the auto person and pulled him by his collar and slapped him like anything multiple times.Then the scooter man started shouting and screaming in hindhi.We never understood a word but knew we was using very hard words.The crowd pleaded him to leave the auto person bcos it was unknowingly done-an accident..The auto person just had folded hands only.he never uttered a word except for sorry sorry...Okay what were we doing all this time?..I had tears in my eyes seeing the auto person bcos I hav not seen anyone being illtreated so much on the road...But.... flight in 2 hours..baby in my hand...I never know a single hindi word....literally I feared to go near the scene.
Though I KNOW it was WE who called the auto from this side of the road.(We expected him to go further and take a U turn..But he wanted to come short)...Anyways we are involved in that.
what did we do? Nothing except few guilty feeling days feeling extra pity for him and praying that he should come out of that illtreatment soon.Memories still asking sorry to that person for not supporting him..If we had supported then that scooter person would strictly not allow us to catch the flight.Not only that since we didnot know the language we were scared that he could go to any limits for that simple falling down.
I felt like worm....It is me who should say so bcos it all happenned bcos of me.In your case you did nothing..You were generous enough.
Though I had been bold in many many situations with heels and words,( I had helped girls in an accident) I was not able to help that person or support him..Now even if I try hard can I sooth my guilty feeling?..:icon_frown: .


bye
karthika.

 

Dear Sri,
I am catching up with your postings and started with the latest one.
Well, you are not alone in this. We all follow this 'namakku ethukku vambu?' attitude due to fear of the after effects. Even our family members would scold us for poking our nose if and when the help turns ino horror.
I was in Bangalore this summer. My mother was paying Rs.2 extra for a half litre of Nandini milk . The shopkeeper was adamant and said that he does not get any margin if he sells in the MRP. All other shops were charging only 50 paise extra. I called up the dairy and gave a complaint.
My mother and brother were not pleased and I had to wihdraw my complaint. I had to think about the safety of my mother in a new place.
In Trivandrum, when we girls went to watch a movie we always carried a safety in with us. That is to prick any man who tries to misbehave from the rear seat and also for co travellers in the bus. Men are very mean there, even now it has not changed. The high heels episode has happened to me also. That is the only way we can be rid of such persons without drawing attention to us.

 

A nice depiction of a very common scenario in life. Whether you helped that guy out of guilt or generosity the outcome benefitted that man who otherwise would not have had that oppurtunity. So I guess everything happens for a reason in the grand scheme of things.

The flip side of this story is when we heard an accident as we were driving by & so my parents wanted to help the hit & run victim. Unfortunately there were more people who wanted to be voyeurs. Anyways so my parents sped to catch the offender & asked the folks in the nearby bus stop to hold him there while we went to get a cop from a police station less than 2 mins away. Now you have to imagine an extremely irritated cop who doesn't want to move his paunch & to get a FIR. Finally after dragging him in our car to the scene we found that the people in the bus stop let the offender go as he said he'd take him the victim who was in a critical condition to some nearby hospital!! So now both of them were gone. So all my parents could do was to make calls to all the hospitals the remainder of the night checking & informing about this accident victim. Unfortunately he never turned up & we don't know what happened. Sometimes its just not enough if one is willing to act... you need more people to act with you so you can achieve the goal.

 

Dear Sri,

In the delhi incident, I wrote expecting ,sharing will lessen the sorrow.It might happen to anyone.I dont want to be held full guilty for that.:icon_frown: .I cant bear it.Please sir.
It was mistakenly put there as selfpity.I admit.I am sorry for that.But I request you to understand that I wanted to praise you and that was only implied over there. mistakenly put one word for another. .saying you have achieved many things indirectly I too meant that reading this many will realize their duties and find ways to do it.Also a person who is trying to be generous to an old man will do good and good only.
--karthika.

 

Sir,
I read your article. It is the people who made that man do that, should feel like a worm. Not you. They will feel like it when you helped the man and acted appropriately, eventhough not now, later. Good acts will make bad people feel ike a worm, later.
We feel like a worm even in the households where we have no control or voice over the person who does that. I have experienced more instances in my house to that effect.
What did I do when my mil insulted my parents, cursed my daughters, made fun of my son and called him a lunatic and also cursed and used abuse language towards my husband (her own son) and do you think she didn't abuse me with her words? I was a silent spectator.
Now I feel that i should have had more courage to defend my family and myself. That thought itself makes me feel like a worm.
Being attending to her needs in her old age,I am sure will change her a little bit.
Sriniketan