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Feeling dpressed and all time low.

Discussion in 'General Discussions - USA & Canada' started by Nilamagal, Feb 23, 2010.

  1. Feb 23, 2010 #1
    Nilamagal

    Nilamagal New IL'ite

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    I am in my middle age with an- almost adult son-23 yrs old and a teenage daughter. I feel bad to be feeling this way when I am supposed to be a role model mom. But I dont know, for the past few months I had been feeling very depressed and stressed, not wanting to do even the routine chores at home. I am in the US, at home mom. I just want to make friends of my age group. Are there any out there? Pl reply
     
    Nilamagal, Feb 23, 2010
    Nilamagal, Feb 23, 2010
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  2. Feb 23, 2010 #2
    ganges

    ganges Gold IL'ite

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    dear nila,

    If there is no particular personal reason for being depressed, then it might be because of your menopause stage. What age are you now. If it is then you have to go through hormone treatment after getting advice from the DR. So meet a gyenic immediately. I had the same problem. Try to make friends and go for walks. That makes a lot of difference.

    ganges
     
    ganges, Feb 23, 2010
    ganges, Feb 23, 2010
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  3. Feb 23, 2010 #3
    SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Madam
    I agree with Ganges. Have a doc check up and am sure they would give you some energy boosters/multi vitamins suitable foryourage.

    Also plsdo try to change your daily routine. Best way to meet up or make new friends is joining any hobby classes. all these years you have taken care of your kids..and might be there was something which you were always interested in? what is your fav. hobby or interest? it would be good if you could start joining classes for those hobbies/interests. This is the right time for you to start involving yourself in other activities apart from taking care of kids..reason..in few yrs your kids would get married or go to school and you would start feeling more bored...So I guess you are blessed that you realised and want to take steps to beat the boredom from now itself...

    Please do post your thoughts on this...

    By the way did you read Varalotti Sirs serials and stories on IL?? If not pls do that you would love the stories...and you wouldnt know how your time flew away...

    Also browse through Chitvish Madams recipes ...You can cook those recipes and share the photos of how they turned out here...you can interact iwth all of us here just like any other friends..

    If you are interested you can also joing IL Meetups that happen in your city...
     
    SriVidya75, Feb 23, 2010
    SriVidya75, Feb 23, 2010
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  4. Feb 23, 2010 #4
    Coffeelover

    Coffeelover Platinum IL'ite

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    Hello,

    We all go through that. If you live in bay area, there are so many indians whom you can make friends with. Other places, go to the library, senior citizen center or hospital and do some volunteer work. You get to meet people form this country. You can learn their culture. We learn a lot form other cultures. I live here past 30 years and made good friends like that. We didn't even have VCR those days. Making a call to chennai was very expensive. But I tried my best to adjust to this life.

    Talk to the doctor. discuss it with your husband and children. they can help you too. get out off the house everyday. take a walk,

    Good luck. :):biglaugh
     
    Coffeelover, Feb 23, 2010
    Coffeelover, Feb 23, 2010
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  5. Feb 23, 2010 #5
    ish333

    ish333 Senior IL'ite

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    Ask yourself why you are feeling depressed only for the past few months. Did you move to a different place or any of your beloved ones did that?Don't worry you have come to a right place, you can find many good virtual friends here!

    Try to spend more time for yourself. Since your kids are grown up that wouldn't be a problem. Engage yourself in volunteering activities,dress up and go for shopping to take the edge off!
     
    ish333, Feb 23, 2010
    ish333, Feb 23, 2010
    #5
  6. Feb 23, 2010 #6
    Nilamagal

    Nilamagal New IL'ite

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    Dear Ganges, SriVidya and Coffeelover, thank you all very much for your kind response. I am 45 now and I think I am starting to get my menopause. I have got an appointment with the gynec next week. Hopefully I will get to know what is the cause of my feeling low like this.

    I love music, I sing and I am teaching carnatic for kids. I had been staying home all these years except for a few short periods where I worked part time. Usually I love to read and listen to music, practice my songs to get better etc etc. For the past few months, nothing interests me. To some extent I can think of a reason. All these years, I had something or the other to look forward to, since my life has been like a roller coaster ride, lots of ups and downs. Past two years had been busy with planning my daughters arangetram, followed by another performance etc. Now looks like life has become monotonous and I have nothing to do. My daughter being in high school, is almost independent, I feel like I have nothing do to, but can't make me do my usual stuff either. Makes me feel like I am crazy and feel guilty abt myself.

    Mind is so...restless, cant focus and read or retain anything, dont feel like listening to music or doing my practice..nothing. The more I am idle, the worse my depression is. I tried to join some course thinking the subject would interest me and I would do something in that, but that seemed to be a failed attempt. That has worsened the problem making me feel worthless. so many unwanted thoughts are just bothering my mind. Just want to get out of that. On the outward I look like a contended person, who does not talk too many personal things to anyone. My husband is a very nice and understanding person, but can't take it if he comes to know I am feeling this way-meaning, he will get all worried and anxious tensed..what not. Sometimes, he might get mad too, thinking why she is unnecessarily worrying. So I haven't expressed anything to him, though he keeps asking me if there is anything wrong seeing me being so dull and less energetic. My daughter is a very nice girl, not much "teenage" stuff to deal with, its there but quite minimal. Am I not crazy?

    I want to be busy, brisk and energetic and a happy person. I am trying to find how I can be one. After a lo....ng thought I decided to post my feelings here.

    You guys made me feel that there is someone to understand and lend a helping hand/heart.

    Thanks
     
    Nilamagal, Feb 23, 2010
    Nilamagal, Feb 23, 2010
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  7. Feb 23, 2010 #7
    Nilamagal

    Nilamagal New IL'ite

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    Thank you very much ish333. You seem to be much younger than me but still you had the heart to try helping me out. I have poured more here again.
     
    Nilamagal, Feb 23, 2010
    Nilamagal, Feb 23, 2010
    #7
  8. Feb 23, 2010 #8
    archana2008

    archana2008 Gold IL'ite

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    I am supposed to be a role model mom, Umm Please donot try to be perfect always. That will make self more depressed. Just do whatever you like.

    If you donot feel like cooking, order something. Next day you after eating outside food you will automatically feel like cooking :) Just think of all ladies around here. we are all here your friends. Donot worry. just take step by step. Enjoy your life. Do whatever you love to. Consult doctor to get your checkup done for menopause. We have life with hands and legs. We should be thankful to God and enjoy each day. Be Happy and Spread the Joy!

    Good Luck! :thumbsup

    Bye
    Archana :)
     
    archana2008, Feb 23, 2010
    archana2008, Feb 23, 2010
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