Feeling desperate and lonely!

tinku · Apr 18, 2015

Hi all,

i dont know where to post this. Moderator, pls move this thread if you find it inappropriate in this married life column.

I am married and with a single kid. My kid is 2 yrs old. My husband is busy with his job. My kid doesnt allow me to work even in the kitchen after she wakes up. I need to sit with her and engage her all the time till lunch. When my DH comes for lunch, I am releived. After lunch mostly she goes to sleep at 3 or 4 pm and wakes mostly only at 6 or 7 pm.

Then she ll be playing for sometime and i need to be with her. I am left all alone with my kid. And my Dh comes at 9 and engages her till she sleeps.

Now my problem is though i am busy with my kid, feeding, bathing and engaging her, I feel lonely most of the time. I feel all alone and desperate. When she sleeps My mind keep wandering. When she is awake also, am like this. I dont know what is happening to me.

i feel since my kid is single she ll not have anyone to turn to except her husband in her life after me and Dh pass away. Its not only these thoughts, but many thoughts centering the current problems, relationships with friends and relatives all keep troubling me often. I have no close friend and am all alone though i am in contact in watsapp school group. There is not much interaction in the group nowadays and i too keep away from sending msgs for the past few months. Nobody calls except my Dh. All these are depressing me.

Above everything i am interested only to surf the web. And i dont have time for my hobbies or other things as my kid occupies me.

Does anyone get feelings of loneliness like me? Am i like others or abnormal? Pls help me out.

indubalram · Apr 18, 2015

You need to find something to keep urself occupied. Maybe some hobby. Like stitching or may be gardening. Or music if that interests you. get freelance job. Do some business from home.

indubalram · Apr 18, 2015

And as long as your kid's future I think you will have to leave it to destiny. And I think its too early to think all this. Just enjoy your motherhood. Think about people who are having more problems than you and Im sure you will feel better.

All the best and be happy!

CrayoNess · Apr 18, 2015

Do you have nearby any park/playground where you could go? You would meet other moms in similar situation. Your child will build up her network with friends when she grows up so no need to worry now about that.

armummy · Apr 18, 2015

Up it your kid in play school for couple of hours and in the same time go join a class to learn something and interact with people

sumathysuguna · Apr 18, 2015

U r normal but too much thinking. So feed ur mind with some hobby or something u r interested in. New things always diverts ur mind. So keep learning

abla · Apr 19, 2015

Looks like your daughter is quite bored at home .She is 2 and needs some social interaction and other kids to play with . Look for a play school even if it for few hrs a day . You will also have a reason to get out of home to drop her and pick her up etc .

Sparkle · Apr 19, 2015

@tinku:

Here is your signature: "A Strong positive attitude may well create more miracles than a wonder drug". This is what you need. Try and enjoy every moment with your kid. Just by living in the moment, you can take control of a wandering mind. Since she is 2, its also a good idea to send your daughter to play school. There should be some hobby/activity that interests you. Do it to keep yourself occupied.

satchitananda · Apr 19, 2015

Tinku, taking her out to the playground or a playgroup, like some have suggested here may give you an opportunity to meet other adults and interact with them. Probably you are missing adult company and that might be causing you to feel depressed.

tinku · Apr 19, 2015

Thanks sparkle for reminding me my signature slogan. It was once my slogan of my mind but for the past few yrs I totally forgot about it. If i keep it in mind and tell it occassiinally to myself i ll feel a lot better as once i used to do it.

Thanks very much sachitananda,
you are right. I lack adult company and it bothers me a lot. And that's the main reason of my unhappiness.

Thanks abla,
I need to go out often. Only then i wont feel depressed. Thanks for reminding me.

sumathysuguna,
My mom told that i am thinking too much few days back. Ignored her words. My DH also told the same two days back. Now you. I think all of you are right. I should stop thinking much. Mostly about negatives. It takes me somewhere.

Indubalram, crayoness, armummy,
I dont find time for hobby as I become tired dealing with my daughter. Once my work is over i go lie down and take rest. And start thinking too. May be i should stop thinking much.

As you all said, i have to find some hobby soon. Else thoughts shouldbe diverted positively. Will try.

thanks everyone for helping me out. I know u guys ll show ways to come out of it. Thanks again.