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Feeling “low” Today...

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by anika987, May 12, 2020.

  1. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    No reason but feeling very low,moody and angry..I feel lost.

    I don’t feeling like doing any work and kitchen is a crazy mess.Had a full ice cream for lunch and ordered pizza and finished a medium six cheese Wisconsin Pizza thick crust all by myself.

    Didn’t sleep properly for the past two days and that is also crazy irritating.

    I recently stopped talking to my relative who lives nearby and I have been angry with her for many reasons,
    Hate doing fake talk with other relatives and in-laws and just stopped talking and it’s been Few days.

    My kid wanted to play with me and I am Seriously bored and wanted to watch a movie.I didn’t want to play with her and gave her iPad to Watch so that she leaves me alone for a while.I am feeling like the worst mother..

    this quarantine time is Supposed to be a time spent well with family and am
    Feeling terrible.

    I am a homemaker and mostly
    Am home but why do I feel like a house arrest now?

    I miss my mom and suddenly keep thinking about my dead dad.

    I miss fun and laughters.

    I am 40 years now and yes I have had lot of entertainment and vacations over the years but did I do something useful?

    my kid is looking shabby with uncombed hair,home is a mess and am looking terrible myself..

    I want to put my daughter is bharatnatyam since I dance myself but hubby wants something else and he feels if classical dance is discontinued after few years it becomes of no use and I should put my daughter in something which she likes and enjoys and not force.
    my relatives keep telling me that am
    Being stupid and not putting kiddo in classical Dance when I have learnt so much.feels so guilty.

    I have never given birthday parties as such to my daughter..

    I hate a cousin who is all the time judgemental of what I do for my child.She has a daughter same age as mine and always comparing from
    Height,weight and other things.I want to cut off but my daughter plays with hers and we have no other family and I have to tolerate.


    My kid used to speak in tamil and I speak at home with her but even after telling zillion times my hubby speaks in English to her and she forgot her tamil now!!!! She understands everything I speak but she doesn’t talk.The judgmental relative always keeps saying “my daughter is able to speak but why isn’t your daughter speaking”...argh!!


    so many random Thoughts today...
    Eating more junk and it doesn’t feel good at all.

    Funny thing is I seriously started looking for a job and updated few courses but thanks to Coronavirus..with so much unemployment around..who will hire a 40 year old who didn’t work for 8 long years??

    The moms around me are superstars.My neighbor is a working woman,who does so much for the community and her home even if u drop in 5 minute notice looks spotless..it is so tough not to compare but I feel useless and wasted.


    Another 10 years..I will be 50!!
    I want to be and do something useful..

    Saw some pics in fb if women who are
    Working,successful,so many friends,with big smiles and lovely dresses..feel like I have wasted my life.

    Random thoughts..

    Today is such a downer..
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2020
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  2. shinycalif

    shinycalif Silver IL'ite

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    Awww! I have no words of wisdom but just to tell you one thing! This too shall pass! Many are having similar thoughts being at home! Working or not working it’s easy to feel not productive being at home all time! Maybe the only thing I would suggest is to have a routine to keep you going! That’s what I do! Wake up early go for a walk or a run, comeback get some breakfast and then do some study with my kid and trust me we all are Guilty to give ipad or screen time to kids when we can’t handle! You have to remember they are at home all day and it’s not easy to handle kids all day long! Just give yourself a break and be kind to yourself first! Toxic relationships can navigate into your life really badly so please if u can avoid them please do! I would rather not have a friend for my kid if it’s affecting my mental space! You have to remain happy if you want to keep people around you happy which is ur immediate family ! Just my two cents !
     
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  3. abcd5

    abcd5 Silver IL'ite

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    Anika,
    Hugs to you. I hope you feel better soon.
    Hang in there..this too shall pass!!!!
     
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  4. NOW

    NOW Bronze IL'ite

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    Anika, it is easy to get into a rut and this COVID crisis is not helping at all. Work on your issues that keep re-surfacing time to time and just ignore toxic people. In my opinion something is a problem only if you think of it as a problem. Everyone is different in their own ways and not everyone has to live the same way. It is just that we have access to too much information these days from international news to what our neighbors are up to. Do not compare but introspect your feelings and either act or get rid of them whichever your mind chooses to. It is just a bad day !! I am in this cycle every 10 days now and trust me it is easy to put a negative spin on everything when we are in a bad mood.
     
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  5. AppuMom

    AppuMom Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Anika
    There are low days in everyone's life.Do not worry and stop thinking about this numbers -age,career break years ,what after 10 years etc.I used to worry about this numbers but realized this is not helping me in anyways.
    Do not pay attention to what others telling about your kid's classes.Just help her to pick up whatever she likes.Listing few things which makes me happy everyday.
    1.I do lots of crochet.I keep on looking for patterns and working with soft yarn makes me calm down (kind of sensory boost).Please pick up a hobby if you don't have one.Do choreograph your favourite song.
    2.I cook breakfast and lunch together so that I don't have to enter the kitchen many times.(snacks - most of the time I make peanut/chole chats ,muffins using ready mix etc)

    3.I make curry paste in bulk and freeze it so anytime curry making is just 10 mins job for me.

    4.I light the lamp in the evening and do sloka chanting etc.It makes me so positive .
    I am doing a cerification course these days but not able to read more than 5 pages a day..Feeling so lazy.But when I am ok I read more and catch up.
    All of us experience these types of road blocks ,but moving on should be our mantra.Take care
     
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  6. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    I started learning dance online on a song and feeling better now.
     
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  7. CuteCancer

    CuteCancer Silver IL'ite

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    @anika987 : same pinch. I was feeling the same. Good you posted.

    Thanks to all replies...feeling better
     
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  8. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    Thanks guys..I was also having periods
    And guess everyone goes through this ups and downs..am quite vocal about it..
     
  9. deeparull

    deeparull Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Anika
    This happens for everyone.. its jus an another day.. thats it. I read a post “ I found out how anti social im whn nothing much changed during this lock down”. Yes me too being a home maker and in the 40s life didnt change much. But there r days whn u feel v low.. its fine.. nothing wrong nd yes even i tend to eat a lot during those times and would need a break from the routine.
    Nd regarding your job.. me being 43 nd my son in college after taking a break of 10 years from work still have hope that if any job is destined for me i will surely get.. so b positive... whats meant for you will surely b yours and Yes..Anika is Anika you are unique and everyone are., u cant b your neighbor or ur fb friend.. i too have a friend who works and she stands first for any social issue but i have priorities.. sometimes i cant and its fine.
    So chill down.. and just dont bother about what others talk; there is a famous quote that says
    “I started succeeding when i started leaving small fights..I stopped fighting for those who gossipped about me
    I stopped fighting to please everyone around me and it goes on..

    So lets do what we love..”at the end everything will work out.. you don’t need to know how you just need to believe it will”.. Good day!
     
  10. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello::hello:
    2. Best thing is to recall some melody from a popular movie of yester years and hum along. The burden in the kitchen vanishes. Have a radio playing as a companion.

    3. Take a mild hot shower with little rock salt and dettol added to water. Drink a glass of tepid hot water.

    4. This type of situation is not special only for you. Entire universe feels so too often. This prevails even in corporate offices. Grudge and anger suppressed are 440 volts to the body. Would lead to production of cortisol and begin chemical communicate to other organs to cause itch, pain, irritation, headache, cramp etc.,

    5. A brigadier was busy with evolving strategies when his smart docile grandson was making noise with his toys. He thought for a while, tore a page from a book containing map of the world. He told the boy, “here is torn pieces of world. Set it to a world on another sheet of paper”. Brig thought it would be a while before he could arrange the torn pieces in order to get the world map.

    But to his utter dismay, the boy had done the world map exercise in few minutes. Brig in wonder asked how he could do it so quick.
    The boy responded that there was parts of a man behind the torn pieces. I set that man alright and the world has become alright.

    6. It is my observation, that dance practise once turns habit, it should not be stopped especially Bharatha Nattiyam. Many dancers stopped midway due to various reasons turned obese. If intention is not to turn into a professional, why waste time and energy on it. It is MHO.

    7. COUSIN should be asked whatever she is today was it the result of her being moulded by her mother comparing with neighbourhood children during her childhood. I am sure cousin would remain spellbound.

    8. If cousin comparing your child with her children, then why you compare with other so-called achiever’s or even pseudo achiever’s. One live for his or her own and loathe being driven by others.

    9. It is world of MAYA. distance lend enchantment to the view. But wearer knows where the shoe pinches. One should not believe whatever is appearing in media. Many are false claims and fake news.

    Thanks and Regards.

    God bless your family with more aplomb, profound sleep and enliven spirits.
    Ps: I had not read #8 or other FBs till I posted mine.
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2020
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