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Feel sad and depressed

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by helpmeplz, Jan 2, 2016.

  1. helpmeplz

    helpmeplz Junior IL'ite

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    I wanted to cry and say this to some one , not to my family

    I felt everything was going fine for the last 6 months when no one is at home except me DH and DD, We had some problems few months back.
    But the problem arises 2 days back , my daughter has been sleeping late and we are not having sufficient private time as DH works early in the morning and leaves to work at 6 , and we are not having fun time due to work and DD.
    The other my husband really wanted to spend time with me and he made sure baby was asleep by 10 and waited, but i was not in mood so i just started to browse through internet looking at news and he patiently was listening to me 10 to 15 min he forced me to shut down the cell phone and we started talking and he expecting to have the s$$ , but during out conversation , i said how bad he was during previous months with his behavior about money and land and said i hate him and would have gone out of marriage if not for daughter and i said this all teasingly and in that moment and i expected him to take it laughingly
    He just threw me aside and went inside the other bedroom locked the door

    Than he stopped talking to me , now he is talking about not living together and he is sending only text messages
    he is working and he comes home sleeps , eats and goes out with DD but no words with me at all , he is not shouting , scolding or fighting with me
    I texted him sorry , but he texted me that he doesn't prefer to live with me and is asking me to leave to India but not take the daughter.
    He is still playing with the daughter and telling her all stories and took her out to indoor skating park but not me
    Today when he came home , he is still working but tried to take nap , i thought he is working on his computer , but he is sleeping and baby who was watching rhymes started crying because i said not to come to kitchen , but she wanted to play
    so she went crying to her dad who was sleeping he woke up and saw the baby crying ,
    he was so frustrated he came out saying that " Stupid people sleep all day long and can't even take care of baby while he is working day and night "
    I got so angry as i have been waking up at nights as i don't sleep well with baby and have to keep her calm if she cry in the sleep and also i am sleeping till 10 to 10.30 as i don't get enough sleep in the night ,
    i blasted out shouting at him and his family saying all the torture they have given me during the time our baby was in India

    He is so angry now and called a lawyer , i am getting scared , angry , depressed

    i know he will eventually calm down , but this has been worsening over the last few months

    So i am sacred if he will leave me , we fight now and than but the fights are becoming scary day by day and distance is growing day by day, with fights
    iF we don't fight we are very very close
     
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  2. Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    50-70% blame on you as well. Read above sentences.

    Solution: stop bringing up past. stop 'blasting'. Esp when you blast, but later on get 'worried and scared' that he may leave you. It is a different thing if you blast - but are ready to accept if he leaves you.

    Truth of life: two people wanting the relshp 'equally' is great for those couples, but a bit ideal for some others. Whoever wants the relshp to be in-tact more, has to work 'harder' and 'learn to keep quiet' at times.
     
    sindmani, catwalk and pinkydarling like this.
  3. Mahanu

    Mahanu Silver IL'ite

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    When you know his intentions and purpose of his actions, you could have very well told him in the beginning itself that you are not in mood that day, so that he does not have any expectations. Instead, you kindled his desire and at last, not only disappointed him but also enraged him by talking about his behaviour, though you were not serious about it.

    Since, you feel that you are the one who created the situation, the only option I see now is to have a open talk with him, apologise for all that you have done that disappointed him and start a new page in life. This is easier said than done. But, you have make him understand that you really regret for your actions. It may take some time. So, be patient. Also, dont burst out for any reason, which will only aggravate the situation.

    Best wishes and god bless you.
     
  4. Sapna56

    Sapna56 Bronze IL'ite

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    OP
    This time try to handle the situation by taking initiative by your side. Apologize him n explain what went wrong. If he is still angry n blasts just let him do dat coz after that he may cool down. Be patient n all d best.
     
  5. catwalk

    catwalk Gold IL'ite

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    - Apologise. There is no need to have ego at the moment. Complete surrender is appropriate in this situation..
    - Talk to him through DD. Pass messages through DD.
    - Prepare his favorite dishes and serve.
    - Be seductive.
    - Never React when he is angry.
     
  6. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    op you need to develop some tact if you want to save marriage.
     
    sindmani and yellowmango like this.

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