Feel Like The Stereotypical Dhobi Ka Kutta After More Than A Decade In Us

gamma50g · Aug 9, 2024

It's been more than a decade that I have been in US. I haven't been to India in almost a decade because I no longer have family there.

I feel like a dhobi ka kutta - I don't feel like I belong to India any more because India now is very different from the India in my memories from what people say. Also I don't feel like I fully belong to the US because I was not born and raised here. Also I never had outside exposure to workplace, friends etc. All of my life here in the US has been dedicated to raising my family after marriage..and still is.

Anyone else feel like a dhobi ka kutta please feel free to comment below !!

anika987 · Aug 9, 2024

I still feel like fish out of water even with exposureRight now in India..what I feel is am in some sort of a trisung log! I like so many aspects of America but the sense of belonging and organic relationships nothing like India.India is also lively but American life is more luxurious atleast in my case.I am in my forties and feeling tired every day in India whereas in USA am super active ..I can’t imagine how will I even retire in India lol which is my dream

Only the super rich can afford to settle in India coz they can have best of both worlds

SGBV · Aug 9, 2024

anika987 said: ↑

I still feel like fish out of water even with exposureRight now in India..what I feel is am in some sort of a trisung log! I like so many aspects of America but the sense of belonging and organic relationships nothing like India.India is also lively but American life is more luxurious atleast in my case.I am in my forties and feeling tired every day in India whereas in USA am super active ..I can’t imagine how will I even retire in India lol which is my dream

Only the super rich can afford to settle in India coz they can have best of both worlds
Click to expand...

Despite of living abroad (but different countries) in the past 2 decades of my life, I still think Sri Lanka is my home. Nothing can beat the vibe whenever I am in Sri Lanka. I wouldn't say it is 100% happy experiences. But it is what makes me lively and excited to look forward to the life beyond.

In the west, life has become so monotonous. It is the same and it never changes. I hate it.
It may seem easy, time saving and make you consume less energy, therefore you aren't tired, but fresh. But, it doesn't make you happy.

Whenever I am in Sri Lanka, I wake up early, and sleep very late. The time in-between are supper occupied and never boring. Again, I am not saying happy experiences. But the highs and lows in life makes it worth for living.

My office "workday" app just showed that my retirement date would be 31st Jan 2045. Almost 20 years from now.
My aim is to retire in my Sri Lankan villa. If my health allows, I would want to visit around the world to escape the drama in Sri Lankan home whenever it gets to my nerves. And then come back for the spice again.

Life is to live and not to survive is my policy.

Rihana · Aug 10, 2024

Looks like school is about to start and so people have time for random philosophical wanderings of the mind.

gamma50g said: ↑

Anyone else feel like a dhobi ka kutta please feel free to comment below !!
Click to expand...

I want to feel free to comment but do not feel like a dhobi ka kutta. So, first some clarification about this much maligned kutta:

A dog is typically used to guard wealthy homes, it is valued by rich people. A washerman on the other hand needs a donkey to carry the loads of laundry to the river. A donkey standing outside a rich man's mansion would be useless. Similarly, if a dog adopts a washerman, it ends up being useful neither at the home, nor at the river. Source: some Quora page.

OK, having clarified my position re the dhobi's dog, now am feeling free to comment thusly:

There is no doubt a niggling feeling that one doesn't really belong in the U.S. even after decades. And every election season, especially reading the threads a certain gent is prone to start, the feeling resurfaces with renewed vigor.

But, my analysis has been that this adage applies to me: Wherever you go, there you are.
Means what? Means, my net feeling of contentment, happiness would be the same no matter where I live. Wherever I go, there I am. Maybe there would be more of a sense of belonging if I had always lived in India, but the extra sense of belonging wouldn't translate to more contentment with life, is my humble and moot prediction. I would just find the same number of "worry" bones to chew on as I have here.

TL;DR - I feel more like a dhobi ka gadha, life's to-do's, must-do's, should-have-done's are endless.

Thoughtful · Aug 10, 2024

gamma50g said: ↑

It's been more than a decade that I have been in US. I haven't been to India in almost a decade because I no longer have family there.

I feel like a dhobi ka kutta - I don't feel like I belong to India any more because India now is very different from the India in my memories from what people say. Also I don't feel like I fully belong to the US because I was not born and raised here. Also I never had outside exposure to workplace, friends etc. All of my life here in the US has been dedicated to raising my family after marriage..and still is.

Anyone else feel like a dhobi ka kutta please feel free to comment below !!
Click to expand...

India from afar will feel like one doesn't fit there anymore.

Having spoken to my friends who returned to India and those who had reservations, didn't have that anymore, once they settled in.

On contrary, any number of years in US doesn't change the thought for many.

US is a very lonely place even for lot of Americans.

Thyagarajan · Aug 10, 2024

Rihana said: ↑

Looks like school is about to start and so people have time for random philosophical wanderings of the mind.

I want to feel free to comment but do not feel like a dhobi ka kutta. So, first some clarification about this much maligned kutta:

A dog is typically used to guard wealthy homes, it is valued by rich people. A washerman on the other hand needs a donkey to carry the loads of laundry to the river. A donkey standing outside a rich man's mansion would be useless. Similarly, if a dog adopts a washerman, it ends up being useful neither at the home, nor at the river. Source: some Quora page.

OK, having clarified my position re the dhobi's dog, now am feeling free to comment thusly:

There is no doubt a niggling feeling that one doesn't really belong in the U.S. even after decades. And every election season, especially reading the threads a certain gent is prone to start, the feeling resurfaces with renewed vigor.

But, my analysis has been that this adage applies to me: Wherever you go, there you are.
Means what? Means, my net feeling of contentment, happiness would be the same no matter where I live. Wherever I go, there I am. Maybe there would be more of a sense of belonging if I had always lived in India, but the extra sense of belonging wouldn't translate to more contentment with life, is my humble and moot prediction. I would just find the same number of "worry" bones to chew on as I have here.

TL;DR - I feel more like a dhobi ka gadha, life's to-do's, must-do's, should-have-done's are endless.
Click to expand...

अर्थात, धोबी का कुत्ता घर का न घाट का मुहावरे का सही अर्थ यह है कि, मनुष्य का किसी ऐसे स्थान पर होना जहां उसकी कोई उपयोगिता ना हो और संगति के कारण उसकी विशेषता भी नष्ट हो जाती हो। यहां नोट करना जरूरी है कि, धोबी का कुत्ता का मतलब सर्वथा अनुपयोगी (यूजलेस) नहीं है बल्कि उपस्थिति अथवा नियुक्ति के कारण अनुपयोगी हो गया है।
Courtesy Google

Thyagarajan · Aug 10, 2024

THESE adages comes to mind.
EAST OR WEST HOME IS BEST.
DISTANT LEND ENCHANTMENT TO VIEW.

HariLakhera · Aug 15, 2024

It is too late to feel -dhobi ka kutta ghar ka na ghat ka. Home is where we live. If not forced to come to the USA, one should feel lucky. Yes, at times we do miss our relatives and friends but just think of the times when there was no WhatsApp?