Feel Like A Foreigner In A Strange Land

I was born and raised in USA, yet I feel like a froeigner in a strange land.

Can you believe it.

I really thought I would go through the process of putting matrimonial ad again and marrying someone from India.

No problem if he wants to be house husband.

House husband, just like house wife is full time job with endless responsibilities. A lazy bum who likes watching TV all day cannot be house husband.

Cooking, cleaning, maintaining, fixing, shopping (includes saving money via coupons), etc


I remember the months leading up to marriage, I was so happy at prospect of marrying one of the alliances. I remember I was so chill, looking beautiful with makeup, going to restaurants for lunch.

And watching Shelly Duvalle's Faire Tale Theatre where Dreams Come True and Everyone Lives Happily Ever After.

Even recently I have given Toastmaster speeches on India, and lot of you ladies suggested neutral topics.

We must speak from the Heart and understand our audience.

For next speech in Advanced Manual, we have to do "The Moving Story". At first I wanted to tell about Umrao Jaan, because it is moving but it is a sad story, from a foreign land, and audience may naturally tune out.

Now I wish to do the comic rendition of the Frog Prince (with Robin Williams as the Frog turned into Prince)

Somehow I feel I am going into new, unfamiliar territory.

On one hand, I do like the people here. And from "How to Win Friends And Influence People", if you like people, and want them to like you back, you must elevate them. Make them feel good about themselves, about their culture, about their traditions.

On the other hand, I feel like I am loosing a part of myself. A part of myself that is so familiar.

Then again when I went to India first time, I was touched inappropriately by my older cousin (my mom allowed it to happen, I don't have the heart to tell my dad), and second time I got married to this monster and no one cared to provide me hygenic bathroom, much less a decent cup of coffee, yet they happily took $$$ from my dad.

So now I am thinking, what else do I have to loose by completely blending into American culture and putting Indian culture behind.

Or perhaps I can keep good part of Indian culture and gain new things in my life. And if someone asks for stories on India, Hinduism, etc, then I can tell them.

Just wanted to write the emotions I am feeling right now.

If I can express my emotions in a safe place, then I can go back to studying for myself, to improve myself at work, rather than impress prospective in-laws who only want $$$.

After this disaster, I stopped studying for Microsoft certifications, because I thought why kill myself on something difficult, to impress people who don't even like me.

Now I am trying to find something to study that can harness my joys and interests.

If a person truly enjoys their work and study, are they really working and studying?

 

I struggle with this because of bitter experiences.
But I know it is possible that many young men can be nice house husbands.
When I commute to work, I see mostly men taking care of the children, i.e.taking them to park, dropping them off to daycare, school

That is true.
And there are always positives in cultures

That's a good point.

LOL, I like your reply. Very thought-provoking and insightful. I still feel there is hope to happily go to India after all these years, for any reason.

 

That's what I was concerned about ... maybe the men I see with the children were working before children but now they might be working part time .....

Still thinking things through ....

 

Well, these posts are from Oct 2015 and earlier. Not sure if IL keeps these.

Long story short, ex married for GC, was abusive, I called police on him, marriage is dissolved.

Still picking up the pieces.

 

This is up to IL admins