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Feel Cheated !!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by beesidhu, Feb 19, 2014.

  1. beesidhu

    beesidhu New IL'ite

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    Been married for 34 yrs now ...things went on ok ...few arguments few fights ...but still ok ...For the past 5 yrs (since my in Laws fell ill) we were very much involve in our duties taking care of them ...but now i am feeling that we have nothing much left ..we sleep in diff rooms ...talk jus normal stuff and ...Last 2 weeks back hubby suggests we go for a 3 night break out of the country and we did ...on the 2nd day i was looking for some cream and was told it is in his bag ....went to get it ...found KY / before sex pills etc ..Was very upset /angry ..but jus left it did not want to spoil things ...anyways ...nothing much happened there aswell just the norm ..came back and one night just having a conversation i said something which he did not like ( happens very often )..and started lecturing me ...after tht big fat face ...i wrote him an e-mail saying about me getting upset after seeing those things but kept quiet but for him small things become big issue ..I never got any reply ...Things he carry r used not on me but on some other ..i just cannot get it out of my head that i have wasted my life ....any suggestions ???
     
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  2. aabcii

    aabcii Gold IL'ite

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    have u got kids , seems you didnt mentioned abt it .. dont start argue on it ..love him and show ur love can change all
     
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  3. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Reading your post i feel like you both are living in empty marriage.Arguments slowly erode affection and intimacy in marriage no matter how small or big they are.I dont know if you can try to build your marriage once again.This can happen only if your husband contribute to build relationship.Its a two way street.At this age its not advisable to take a divorce and start everything living alone.

    Only way i could see is you figure out a way to take care of yourself,your needs.Make yourself happy.

    Give you husband one chance to explain.May be he wanted to get physically intimate with you.Thats why he took you away on trip and bring those things with him.
     
  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Agree With Iamagoodgirl here. Looks more like those things were for you but he just did not get in a mood.Why would he take you out for 3 days and take things for someone else?He could have gone alone....made up some excuse about work.

    May be he is having some physical/sexual problems and he is embarrassed to discuss it with you.
     
  5. beesidhu

    beesidhu New IL'ite

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    Well i think the things r always in his toilet bag ...and he has gone away many a times with so called friends on a boys trip thingy if i was the sort i could have gone thru his things each time he comes back but this was just an instance tht i got to see ...and those things were not for me they have been used b4 ...some pills missing ky used ...so its not me ..
     
  6. aabcii

    aabcii Gold IL'ite

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    Try to speak with him abt this and get his stand point do why does he do like this and what he is expecting .. or is already have some other whom he liked and cant tell you >?
     
  7. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Then it is a serious issue of cheating you are dealing with. Feel very sorry for you.
    Hugs to you dear. You deserve better.Let him know that you know about his cheating.And be relieved he is not spreading disease to you.
     
  8. aabcii

    aabcii Gold IL'ite

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    Ya I too agree with Yellomango ... try to have a open discussion and do a counselling ... you need to ask him and get his opinion for his actions
     
  9. beesidhu

    beesidhu New IL'ite

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    Talking to him has never been easy more so now with this ...so I am just going to ignore and try to push it out of my mind (very hard to do ) anyways I am not the one who did wrong cos in my eyes this is Wrong ..cos I kept asking him in so many ways ..tht when u guys go out does anyone go for a women answer was Nooo we r just to drunk and just talk and talk ..Load of Bull****t
     
  10. beesidhu

    beesidhu New IL'ite

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    Do u all think it is right for me to talk to one of his friends who he thinks of very greatly ???
     

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