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Father-in-law

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Padmash, Jun 4, 2007.

  1. Padmash

    Padmash Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi,

    this i want to discuss because we talk about husband and wife. A women's life spoiled because of husband. So don't u think sometimes our MIL is good by nature good by heart but she is forced by FIL to spoil the family. Yes, its true many mil are good but fil force his wife i.e mil to control her son and dil so that they can be in his control and again he is the master.
    we cant always curse just our mil, manytimes she is forced to do some wrong things because of her husband and unmarried daughters. even mil have to obey their husband . when i watch serial 'kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi' i think y don't they introduce new serial ' kyunki sasur bhi kabhi pati tha'.

    i will really appreciate for ur feedback whatever it is.

    bye
    padma
     
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  2. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    dear padma,
    there is a saying in tamil if the naar is good then the garland of life will be good, and this is the mamanaaar
    and the narthanaar not mamiyar, so these two if they r fine then the marriage is heaven, other wise their tight noosing can kill any...regards sunkan

    nice thread though...keep it up
     
  3. Padmash

    Padmash Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Sunkan,
    thanks for the response this was very balanced.
    bye
    padma
     
  4. monlisa

    monlisa Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Padma,

    I agree with your post..and a very nice post

    Its about 2 years we are married and what I am observing from past two years is some thing very strange compare to my family. The main head (hero) in our family is our FIL he is the head of the family and he is been controlling entire family from past many years. My FIL is so intelligent in molding their sons and making them unthinkable. My FIL is so cunning and he acts like a very good person in front of my husband and other people and he never leaves his sons and he is so adamant that his sons should listen to him with out questioning any thing. If you say some thing against him then he creates a wonderful drama and makes other feel like stupidest. He thinks that he is genius in this world and no one is like him…(some people never change) … He is feeding all the crape in to my husbands mind from past so many years so that they never says anything against him. :bang My husband mind is always filled with his thoughts and my husband asks him each and every thing to do(like simple things eating non veg) he can not take any decisions by him self and my FIL is so cunning that he knows how to handle their sons in certain situations… and as a wife I never get a chance to explain my problem..what ever he says that we have to fallow(oh god. I am lucky to be here in US) ..I know that we have to give respect to our elders and he is like our father but some people don’t deserve that respect…(he belongs to that category):eek

    He thinks that all his sons will change after they get married..so he changed theor minds by saying all the stuff from past many years …and this is still continuing every week he is pouring his thoughts in to my husband mind continuously feeding him to control me…. and I put a sentence in telugu( ma varu ma mama gari chethilo bomma..yella thipputhe alla adutharu) and my FIL knows very well how to handle my husband and when to say things and when not….and every thing is in his hands…I analyzed that there is nothing I can do now…and my husband will never change …. I pray to god our life’s should not become hell out of this…hope my husband knows what is happening and has to change by him self…….:-(
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2007
  5. GPriya

    GPriya Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Padma,

    I agree with you fully. I am unfortunate to have a deadly FIL who is extremely greedy and made life hell for me for the past 20 years. He also loves to control his sons and keep advising them that they should make sure that their wives respect them in every way as thier mother respected him.

    Well, my MIL passed away 10 years ago, and now for the last 10 years, staying with his two daughters(married) and visiting US to say with us, made his life difficult and slowly changing his views. Even now, his attitude pisses me off a great deal, but til today, I never speak to him even a word, other than yes or no. I hate him to the core and as someone mentioned, such people don't deserve respect. But due to my upbringing, I never disrespect him in anyway, but ignore him totally as though he doesn't exist..which made him regret his behaviour. I took care of him well by providing him good food and buying things he wanted while in the US, but beyond that, I never spoke to him one word until today. Even when I visit India, I only ask him how r u, nothing more.

    I lost my father when I was a year old kid, and I always longed to have a great FIL to treat like a father...Unfortunately not all our dreams come true. But I got a great husband who understands my feelings in the right way and tried to mediate between me and his father several times, but I never gave in. The hurtful behaviour of my FIL is something, I just can't forgive or forget.
    But God has a way of fixing things and my FIL's favourite DIL (my BIL's wife (cosis) made his life hell and told him to get out and never step into her house .
    That incident made him realize what an angel I am and nowadays he tries a great deal to say a few words to me by looking at my face.

    He is now 83, hale and healthy and but never independent, always a burden to someone. Such people still exist in the world.

    Geeth Priya
     
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2007

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