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Father/Daddy/Appa/Accha/Nana/pithaji/baba….

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Shanvy, Nov 17, 2007.

  1. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    We all talk so much about our mother. Scriptures bow to mother first and then to father.
    Once during a harikatha discourse, I heard that the child is first held in father’s atma for the first 3 months before entering the mother’s womb…still pondering on that…but somewhere I have read a story in mythology relating this..but don’t remember….

    Father..in whichever language….…wow, he is a super man for most children especially daughters including me …which becomes difficult in later years..as they tend to search for a little of him in their partners…Mine is one..who taught me how to be strong…responsible and about hard work.

    History has given lot of examples for great mothers and fathers.
    But I have been fascinated with Gandhi as a father and Nehru as a father…two great people of our nation..both having their own principles. Both great personalities revered by lot. Gandhi though has become the father of the nation was he a great father???.

    Looking at his family, what happened to his four sons
    "You want my sons to be holy men before they are men!" Gandhi's wife once exclaimed.
    All of them, according to one account, "tried to live up to their father's expectations of them, but each, in his own way, failed, and in Gandhi's attitude toward their failure there was, by his own testimony, an element of guilt for sexual excesses in his childhood marriage." His sons resented their upbringing as disciples. They were not, for example, allowed basic education which Gandhiji himself had received and which would have provided them with their own choice .

    Harilal rebelled strongly. He did not have direction. He took to a tragic path of self destruction. Once when Gandhi was asked about Harilal’s plight he said …“I was a slave of my passions when Harilal was conceived.”
    The same happened to the others..but they were a little better off.

    My views on this…..…

    If Harilal had been a stronger person, who could have stood up to his father and then demanded for his wishes to be granted…maybe, maybe Gandhiji would have tried to help him out and been a better father..or if Gandhiji understood the trauma the expectations of living as shadows of larger than life person..been a father, more gentler, (he had shunned his second son Manilal for giving money to Harilal) and a little less rigid on his principles…maybe Harilal would have been a better son.

    There is a book by Harilal’s grand-daughter Neelam Parikh based on facts…stating that he was the lost treasure of Gandhi…


    Nehru, though was in prison, had been communicating with his daughter Indira through his letters.He was always there for her. Though he was not a historian, he wrote about civilization which is a great book today as letters to his daughter…….his presence in her life made her the lady of steel…who later came to be the great women prime minister of India…was she a great mother is another topic to ponder …

    There is a lesson for all parents…not father alone…that being there for your child come what may..makes a great impact on him/her..and would make a difference……

    A father is a source of inspiration, who constantly gives you courage and strength, to face all the challenges in life.
    A father’s devotion to his family, makes him a special person, whose loving and caring ways, strengthen each and every family tie.
    A fathers love, , because it’s always there, a love, that you can count, for comfort and for care
    A father’s the one, who teaches you to dream, to learn and to try, with your feet on the ground, yet sights on the sky.

    What do you say…………….???
     
  2. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    very nice one Shanthi.
    I was used to ponder on this subject for many days thinking that 'father-image' has not been portrayed well before the people.
    Even in the cinemas they portray all mothers the same and fathers like some 'fearful figure'. If any cinemas portrays dad'-love' to his children, it is a hit. Why?
    Is that they discovered recently, is it not there along with motherly-love?

    Fathers are not recognised more than that of the mothers.
    :iagree you in your last lines.

    sriniketan
     
  3. maya08

    maya08 Senior IL'ite

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    a father's role...
    beautifully said shanthi ma'am.
    indeed, i agree with srini ma'am that fathers are rarely recognised because most people consider that a mother's role outweighs a father's. but then again, both are actually equal and unique in their own way.
    in the cinemas many 'scary' fathers are portrayed, and it is the mother who would be of a softer persona. i have yet to see the opposite - a 'scary' mom and a loving father to be portrayed in the golden screen.

    cheers.
     
  4. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Hey sriniketan,

    Thanks for stepping here. I recently read the lost jewel...and then the gandhi my father...really a great insight......
    Father plays an equal role:hatsoff...in the growing years...whether it is a girl/boy they need their father..to be there for them...

    It was always there..only people don't give them the same credit...
    Though there is a father's day, even the media gives so much importance to mother's day only...shakehead
     
  5. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    hi suhan,

    Thanks for stepping in...it is nice to know others also feel the same way....

    i think today's serials are giving into potraying them as loving fathers on the silver screen...
     
  6. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hello Shanthi
    A beautiful topic. I was thinking of writing on my dad. Who is very strong and a loving person. I always admired him for his knowledge, smartness, and all the things that he does but even though he is old, he still have control on himself, has patience, has good advices for each and every situations, always encouraging to do things. It is not only for his kids but also for other people. When we look at him he looks like a macho man, how much strong that much humble too.
    Father's are not know much, it is the mother we always speak about. It is indeed a good thread that you have started all of us can express our father's too.

    A father is a source of inspiration, who constantly gives you courage and strength, to face all the challenges in life.<?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O />
    A father’s devotion to his family, makes him a special person, whose loving and caring ways, strengthen each and every family tie.

    A fathers love, , because it’s always there, a love, that you can count, for comfort and for care
    A father’s the one, who teaches you to dream, to learn and to try, with your feet on the ground, yet sights on the sky.

    These are wonderful lines on father.
     
  7. Vandhana

    Vandhana Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Shanti,

    Beautifully written article. Yes i agree with you, fathers do play a vital role in shapping up the futures of the kids. And what a difference a small word of praise or a few minutes spent with the child makes on them.
    I think it more our Indian culture, that kind of ingrains that the father is the "earner" and moms are the ones to go to for everything else. But these notions are so ridiculous. Here in the US, dads play in equal role in the upbringing of their kids. I know this is changing in India too... But its lovely to see the father having a good time with kids and guiding them .
    I loved your last lines.

    Vandhana
     
  8. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Aruna...

    Good to know about your dad. my :hatsoff to him. What I don't understand, is why we don't give so much credit to a father in general.
     
  9. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi vandhana,

    thanks for stepping in. I feel the presence of a father/father figure is vital, for the kids.moreso in the growing years....My DD, she always used to wait for the early morning 15minutes tete-tete with her dad...infact she used to keep few things just to be shared with him. Right now, I feel the pinch of veda not being here with them.
     
  10. prabhabala

    prabhabala Gold IL'ite

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    hi Shanthi,

    A wonderful write up. hats off to u!!!!!

    Father plays a vital role in our life.
    They spend so much time in their work place & give us a comfortable life.

    From my young age I adore my father. He has sacrificed everything for me & my brother(his promotions etc etc...........).

    For him family is the atmost thing in life.

    Today I am also following his foot steps......


    prabha

    prabha
     

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