Hi Friends, Enjoy these funny quotes-- There is intelligent life on Earth, but I’m just visiting. Work is the curse of the drinking class. The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made. How can I love you if you won’t lie down ? I wear the brains in the family. There’s no future in time travel. Put on your seat belt… I wanna try something . Beat the 5 o’clock rush - Leave work at noon. I’m not unemployed, I’m a consultant I’m sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot. I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit. Where there’s a will… I want to be in it. All men are idiots And I married their king. Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive. My Dog Can Lick Anyone. Out of my mind… Back in five minutes. People like you are the reason people like me need medication. There’s too much blood in my alcohol system. Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips. A day without sunshine is like night. Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares? Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already. The trouble with life is there’s no background music. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.