1. Want to be a Positive Parent? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Failed ivf........saddened

Discussion in 'Adoption' started by 2try, Dec 18, 2008.

  1. 2try

    2try New IL'ite

    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    <!-- / icon and title --><!-- message -->
    <!-- BEGIN TEMPLATE: ad_showthread_firstpost_start --><!-- END TEMPLATE: ad_showthread_firstpost_start -->Just wondering if im alone im 38 and i have had 2 failed ivf cycles and i caint afford to do anymore since i payed for ivf out of my pocket with no insurance.Im so saddend that my cycles failed.Not only did my both cycles failed but i aslo lost two family members at the same time.At the time of my first cycle my sister died from nine gun shot wounds to the head at her place of buisness.After speaking to my fertility doctor she imformed me that my cycle failed due to stress.Not giving up even though at this point my funds had dwindled down me and my husband decided to remortgage our home to try again.My second cycle started in oct/07 this time things looked great and then yet again to my dismay i got another call that my grandmother that i loved so dearly had lost her battle to rectum cancer she died nov/8/2007 again my cycle failed.I was devaststed and shocked that at a time like this when im trying to create life i was losing my beloved family members.Why am i so bad lucked i caint afford to do ivf again im struggling i still think this is all a dream.So i decided to adopt maybe that is what god has instored me.Anyone has any ideas how to raise the money for adoption im thinking of adopting from ethiopia.please i need some words of wisdom im hurting inside.
     
    Loading...

  2. mridusudha

    mridusudha Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,269
    Likes Received:
    36
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    Hello 2try,

    You have such a beautiful and meaningful user name "2try"....Please don't be depressed....
    I am so sorry to hear about yours and your family members losses....I can sense from your post how hurt you are.....no amount of words can fill your losses...
    But losing either of them was not in your hands...So please don't blame yourself for any of this....Certain things just happen in our lives...There is no answer for them...and try not to find answers....that will give some peace...God will definitely listen to your prayers...think that this is just a testing time for you and your family....I am sure god will listen to you one day....Prayer always helps...Believe me!!

    Your decision to adopt is commendable...I have read that "adopting a waiting child" or going for "foster adoption" is less expensive...
    I found this from the "National Adoption Center"...You can check out more info from their website http://www.adopt.org/assembled/financing_more.html

    Also try going for local adoption support groups..I mean every city has support groups where people who are waiting to adopt meet every once in a month to discuss various issues...You might find more information about financing in these support groups...I am sure many people like you have monetary issues...If you go to these support groups, you will get lot of emotional support too...
    If you have hard time finding such support groups, I would suggest asking your Ob-gyn...they might be able to help you...Once my ob-gyn mentioned about this support group to me....

    Try to be positive...I know it might sound ridiculous to you at this time but when one door closes another opens...God will definitely open a door for you soon....
    The thing is believe in yourself and believe in god...Try to involve yourself in different things....Take a small vacation if you can...That might give some break for you and your DH...Try to cheer up yourself and get into an exercise routine...Getting some exercise will cheer you up and give you strength....

    You are definitely not bad lucked...God has sent every human being on this world for a purpose...You have to fulfill your purpose...May be your purpose is to give a new life to a child who has been deprived of...I am sure a beautiful child is waiting for your love and affection...It's just a matter of time...

    Take care of yourself and may god give you strength in every way.
     
  3. MadhuRao

    MadhuRao Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,283
    Likes Received:
    25
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi 2try,

    Dunt be disheartened! Life is just HOPES!!
    I agree with Mridusudha, Adoption is Special, please spread Love.


    All the best!!:thumbsup
     
  4. Riyasmommy

    Riyasmommy Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,495
    Likes Received:
    22
    Trophy Points:
    85
    Gender:
    Female
    2try, life can be very cruel at times, but I also believe that when things take a bad turn, God has something good in store for you. You may not see it right then, but it will show up when you least expect it to. Just don't lose faith. Can't even imagine the pain and loss you are going through. Hugs to you.

    Good luck with your adoption plans. I am sure a child in need of a loving family is waiting somewhere for you and your husband.

    Raj
     
  5. 2try

    2try New IL'ite

    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks for your kind words it really helps.
     
  6. hemadurga

    hemadurga Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    661
    Likes Received:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi 2try,
    it is very sad t hear ur both monetary and family loss... but dont give up hope keep trying for ur own child and also simulataneously for adoption... which ever comes first embrace it.. u get both just evaluate if u can afford both at same time...

    pls dont mind... they generally say that when an elderly person like grand parents die when we are ttc, they are reborn to us... that is what elders in our family say... even in my house living elder members in my family say that I want to die and be reborn as my child.. so pls console urself and try to get back ur sis and ur grandmother to your family...
     
  7. Vidya24

    Vidya24 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,654
    Likes Received:
    177
    Trophy Points:
    155
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear,dear 2try,

    God always has something good in store for us, though many times we (read I,Vidya) don't recognise it. I am sure something positive will emerge out of all your experiences.

    The last two attempts failed since you underwent ghastly experiences and they increased the stress levels. Why don't you try a third time, if possible in India? IVF costs in India are much lower than abroad.And more important, you will have the physical support of an extended family.

    One thing which is easy for me to say and difficult to follow. In an IVF cycle, we can never guarantee that all will be stress free. In case, you have stress, try not to internalise it. Accept the grief, but do not give more importance to grieving. Conserve that energy for the life form within you. Germans say that during pregnancy the mother should avoid all acts that suck energy starting from meditation to heavy exercise to grieving to excess joy. I know it is easier said than done, just wanted to share this with you.

    Adoption- the nicest way to become parents. My husband's family has many adopted children. They are truly the wealth and joy of the family. Are you of Ethopian lineage? In some countries, eg Europe, they prefer to place children with parents of same ethnic grouping. In the long run, they say, it is better for the adjustment of the child to the family, and her integration in the local community.

    Goodluck in all you choose!
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2009
  8. rajalakshmigopal

    rajalakshmigopal Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,906
    Likes Received:
    66
    Trophy Points:
    135
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear dear2try,

    I can understand your pain.As Vidya suggested,why dont you try for ivf one more time in india with much confidence and stress free?From your post experiences we know that stress was the major culprit.Stress free environment and confidence plays a vital role in embryo implantation.

    India is now gaining popularity in ART and you can take a medical loan as related to NRI schemes or indian procedures.

    If you want to try in U.S,why dont you read the article given by vmur in TTC forum?She has given the options for financing IVF in U.S.

    My only suggestion is to try for one or more times before you go for adoption.
     
  9. 2try

    2try New IL'ite

    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks for all the great advice to you are giving me but sadly to say because of the economy i dont see me doing ivf for the third time.I had a small business wich i had to close because of the bad economy.But i will still pray for a miracle please pray for me i need all the prayers i can get.
     
  10. rajalakshmigopal

    rajalakshmigopal Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,906
    Likes Received:
    66
    Trophy Points:
    135
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear friend,

    Do not worry.You are in our prayers.You will be blessed very soon!

    Good Luck!!
     

Share This Page