Facts Of Life

iyerviji · Jan 6, 2019

Facts of life - kadva sach

If my children read this post they might not like it but if I keep this in heart and not share with my close friends and relatives I might go into depression because at this age cant bear when someone hurts my feelings

When someone appreciates me I feel very happy and feel on the top of the world too but cant digest when someone tells me on the face something which hurts me. Before marriage I never gave importance to cooking as I wanted to enjoy life in young age, my grandmother, mother elder sister were all there to do the cooking, actually by 7 a.m. my mother and grandmother used to finish the cooking and grandmother used to say whole life is there for you to do cooking.

Later after marriage also I did not give much importance though I was married to a family where all are experts in cooking. My office friends and contract bus friends have enjoyed my husband's cooking and in the office they used to ask did Iyer make this, that time I did not feel bad. But dont know in this age I am not able to bear it. Recently one relative was saying that he only cooks but that was when I working and he used to help me and cook during functions. My children also used to wait to have the kalanda chadam made by him with rice , ghee, sambhar , vegetables and pickle. When relative said also I ddi not take it serious but two days back in a function one friend was asking now also mama only cooks. I told her not now I only cook and she was asking what all do you cook, do you make milagootal . That day I think she did not have any friend so she called me to sit near her , in the beginning I enjoyed sitting with her but after she asked me this question I was very disturbed and later when another friend called me I went and sat with her.

So friends those who appreciate my drawings, jewellery etc. bear in mind I am not good in cooking, keeping the house perfect. I only know being on line thats all

periamma · Jan 6, 2019

@iyerviji Just ignore such people.Don't take deep into your heart which may affect your peace of mind.you did a good job by moving away.you excel in jewelry making drawing and Poojai Punaskara.your family like your cooking and thats what we want.Be cool

Anusha2917 · Jan 6, 2019

You did the best thing by moving a away. Reading about Milagootal I feel like narrating this.
I got married to a Palakkad Iyer where as my dad is from Thanjavur. We have never cooked milagootal and always it's kootu for us. Before marriage I realized from my to be hubby that his favorite dish is Milagootal and his mum makes the best one. Then I approached a relative ,my aunt to ask her if she knows the recipe of this Milagootal . Said her apparently my to be hubby loves it. She said oh that is simple. Like our kootu. Milagu and coconut is grounded and added in dhal and veggie mix. I thought wow the name also matches. Milagu + kootu = Milagootal. (logical thinking u see )
Now the fun part started . After marriage we all moved to Mumbai where my hubby was put up and my in laws accompanied us saying few days they will stay with us and teach me everything. So one day my MIL cut all veggies and gave me and said make milagootal . She even asked me do u know the recipe. With great confidence I told oh yes. Then I took this coconut and took black pepper, ground and mixed this paste with cooked vegetables and dhal.. Thanking that aunty of mine who thought me this wonderful recipe. My in laws are this sweet people who didn't say anything. Then my hubby started telling why is milagootal different and I'm getting milagu taste.
My MIL asked me did u use milagu with cocunut. I said yes. She said no need of using milagu u can use red chilli and jeera. Lol.. I realized milagootal has nothing to do with milagu . And it's like kootu .

I can never forgot that relative and this incident and this signature dish of our family

Amulet · Jan 6, 2019

@Anusha2917
Milagoottal is koottu in regions where there are no Tamarind trees. Now that logistics is advanced enough, there is Tamarind concentrates in the grocery stores in Yukon. No need to suffer, or be content with mulagoottal any more.

@iyerviji
There is only a handful that we each know; what is not known is like a Universe [I had paraphrased Avvaiyaar quoted in NASA's Cosmic knowledge display].

You feel confident about how to draw or design jewels.
Someone else knows how to reconcile to not having Tamarind to cook a proper koottu.

No need for comparisons. Your handful of knowledge/experience is different from someone else's.

I liked the OP post, because it shows that we all have our unique hangups.

hang up = To have or cause to have emotional difficulties ..

Anusha2917 · Jan 6, 2019

Amulet said: ↑

Milagoottal is koottu in regions where there are no Tamarind trees.
Click to expand...

Right.. Got that point after a trial of pepper kootu..

Amulet said: ↑

There is only a handful that we each know; what is not known is like a Universe [
Click to expand...

I remember one of Rajnikanth's movie tagline here. "known is a drop ,unknown is an ocean ".

Cheeniya · Jan 6, 2019

Viji
The quality of food is not decided by who cooked it but who ate it! I'll eat the food cooked by you one of these days and if I like it, you are the best cook for me!

Srama · Jan 6, 2019

Dear aunty,

Next time say yes and then he add ...

iyerviji said: ↑

Facts of life - kadva sach
one friend was asking now also mama only cooks.
Click to expand...

Your mama is so sweet you know he says, back then I used to cook to help/out of necessity but now I cook out of love, for you

satchitananda · Jan 6, 2019

Dear Vijima,

it was really stupid and condescending of that lady to have asked you such questions as if you were a newly wed bride. No one should be asking even them such questions. Good you walked off from her when you saw another friend. Just ignore such people. Like amulet says, each one has their own abilities and strengths.

Viswamitra · Jan 6, 2019

Dear Vijiakka,

The opinions others have about you (positive or negative) has nothing to do with your life. They are perceptions of each person. In order to achieve peace of mind, don't give any value to what is being expressed. It is best to have your own self-confidence and keep living your life with sense of fulfillment and peace.

shyamala1234 · Jan 6, 2019

iyerviji said: ↑

Facts of life - kadva sach

If my children read this post they might not like it but if I keep this in heart and not share with my close friends and relatives I might go into depression because at this age cant bear when someone hurts my feelings

When someone appreciates me I feel very happy and feel on the top of the world too but cant digest when someone tells me on the face something which hurts me. Before marriage I never gave importance to cooking as I wanted to enjoy life in young age, my grandmother, mother elder sister were all there to do the cooking, actually by 7 a.m. my mother and grandmother used to finish the cooking and grandmother used to say whole life is there for you to do cooking.

Later after marriage also I did not give much importance though I was married to a family where all are experts in cooking. My office friends and contract bus friends have enjoyed my husband's cooking and in the office they used to ask did Iyer make this, that time I did not feel bad. But dont know in this age I am not able to bear it. Recently one relative was saying that he only cooks but that was when I working and he used to help me and cook during functions. My children also used to wait to have the kalanda chadam made by him with rice , ghee, sambhar , vegetables and pickle. When relative said also I ddi not take it serious but two days back in a function one friend was asking now also mama only cooks. I told her not now I only cook and she was asking what all do you cook, do you make milagootal . That day I think she did not have any friend so she called me to sit near her , in the beginning I enjoyed sitting with her but after she asked me this question I was very disturbed and later when another friend called me I went and sat with her.

So friends those who appreciate my drawings, jewellery etc. bear in mind I am not good in cooking, keeping the house perfect. I only know being on line thats all
Click to expand...

Dear Viji Madam,
Not asking personal questions is good manners. Especially those which may not be liking to other person. You did a good thing in moving away from her. Appreciate if one can and if not better to be silent. In families couple help each other and make the family run smoothly. You have plenty of positive traits which we all appreciate and admire.
Syamala