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Extras by Women!!!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by hrastro, Feb 17, 2015.

  1. jasmine25

    jasmine25 Gold IL'ite

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    Astonished reading the accomplishments of all wonderful ladies out there :) hats off to you.. As I read laks and shanvy mam's post tears rolled down my cheeks.. For an hour or two I couldn't come out of that emotional state thinking how come you ladies made the impossible possible with your positive approach and attitude towards life..I can vouch for an absolute inspiration for each and every reader..

    Mine is a late entrant as I felt I did nothing special compared to all..The fact is that I couldn't refrain myself from posting reading laks and shanvy's post..That was a real tonic for me at this time especially..after all the pampering (from DH, inlaws, parents, friends) from my conception, pregnancy, labor and post labor, now it's my turn to take care of my 3 months old son all by myself still with the support of my DH.. Though I had a great confidence in me and an immense help from DH there had been days I sulked, felt terribly sick, irritated, frustrated managing the tantrums of the infant along with the chores at home that I hardly had a me time..Now I feel these are trivial reading this "extras by women"

    This has brought in a drastic change that I take life as it comes with a broad smile anyway and everyday..Having said that let me recollect few things .. These are so called extras by me :)

    During my school days I.e higher secondary summer days I started taking tuition classes for children up till I finished my graduation.. This is to support my family as they were facing down times at that period of life.. Having this background and knowing the difficulty of the Middle class family I did not collect fees for few students who could not afford to pay the tuition fees..there was no bias..I treated all the students equally and never let other children know the situation of these kids.. Now I have to remember my tuition teachers who were my friends dad..they did not collect a single penny from me for my tuition classes knowing my family situation..they treated me like their daughter and all I could give back was I scored 200/200 in chemistry and maths..I learned a lot from my teachers..here I didn't do anything special.. I just did what I received..

    My parents always guided me in the right path..they put me in balavihar slokha class during my ukg.. I continued going to the class till my 12 th std...am falling short of words to describe he religious and cultural values that I learned there.. I started taking slokha classes for small kids..
    That has become a practise now and whenever I see kids I teach them slokhas..
    I trained my tuition students for their entrance examination...(for BE and MBA).. I considered them as my siblings hence asked them not to waste their money paying to coaching centres..

    And now I entered a different world as I joined work after graduation..as a beginner I suffered a lot and words aren't enough to thank that person.. His name is SRI.. He guided me and answered all my dumbo questions, clarifications, arguments , confusions and what not and how do I pay him back his selfless service to new joiner like me???? I just did what he rendered me. ..whenever I came across new joiners in my team without a sulking face I extended all possible support and help before even they could ask for it...
    Later I pursued my Post graduation in Human resources..I became the member of panel interview. Getting a job is really really a life, a survival especially for who is coming from a financially weak background..( I still remember how i felt happy receiving my first offer as that could erase all sufferings of my parents..) Hence I have whole heartedly selected candidates even if they were just 70% matching the criteria provided they are genuine and needy..

    And now am a SAHM..
    I must happily admit am health conscious of my family only after joining IL.
    I prepare home made food exclusively.. A big no to junk food outside..
    I run my family in an organised manner with an infant at home..i prioritise work and efficiently managing my day to day routine with a cranky and fussy kid..
    At times I help my DH in his official work..having sleepless nights ever since the birth of my kid I never failed to get up early in the morning to cook just because I love my DH and I don't want him to spoil his health eating in office canteen.
    In this busy schedule with no time to breath I never miss to wish my kith and kin on their birthdays, anniversaries, festival etc...
    So ladies I have penned down few things - the So called extras by me... Thanks to my kid who was sleeping all this while while I type this post..now he is giving me a buzz... Time to say bye!!!
     
  2. sdiva20

    sdiva20 Platinum IL'ite

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    @ hrastro- I saw your post a few days ago but after reading some other posts here I was so emotional that I needed some time before I could come back here.

    By the way, to all ladies that posted about the "extras"- I dont think of anything you guys do as "extras" but as very important activities that either directly or indirectly have an impact on your loved ones or others whose lives you touch.

    Yes mom (and dad) are my inspiration and my strength (to me there are one unit).

    The thing that I love most about my mom (and dad) is they never tried to impose their dreams on us or tried to make us live their lives through us. They helped realize our dreams and gave us every opportunity and encouragement make that happen. In a time when almost every parent in India guide/compell/ even force their children only into engineering or medicine, they supported me when I choose a diiferent path. They never doubted that I would be any less succesful if I were to choose a different path.

    My dad worked outside and mom at home. My dad started a buiness and made it very succesful and at any given time had about 50 -60 people working for him so he was busy and often travelling. So we spent most time with mom. She has always been our best friend. We always told her everything and all my friends -even to date- envy us for the relationship we share with our mom. My mom always said that she (and dad) trusts us and honoring that trust and winning their approval meant a great deal to me. I have seen so many people do so many things behind their parents back but we never had to do anything like that.

    I love that mom is always game for trying out new food or new adventures. She is very open to new experiences which makes her a fun person. She also has a child like innocence and enthusiasm for life.

    Strangely enough, my MIL still does not know how to use internet but my mom with limited english language skills know all all she needs to know: find TV shows to watch, finding crochet patterns, recipes etc. About 5 years ago she did not know how to crochet at all now she is crochets so beautifully - so many patterns and styles. In fact year before last, she participated in a church christmas bazar where my IL's live and she sold almost everything she made and donated that money for charity. Everyone was so impressed with what she made because so many people came to sell crocheted items but most were selling one or two patterns and hats or scarfs but she had baby dresses, hats, scarfs, booties etc all learned on her own.

    She is unwaveringly patient, loving, generous. My husband also loves her so much and he was talking something about her at work to his boss and that guy observed "you are very fond of your MIL. Not everone is so close to their MIL". He said "I love her and want her to live with us. I get along with her more than my even my wife" :rant


    Lastly, she too has many IL's struggles after she got married. Struggles that I have seen many times echoed by many posters here. Many have told I dont understand the struggles in an Indian marriage but I do and only too well. I saw those conniving , greedy and manipulative people who took advantage of my father's generosity. My grandfather was always very loving to my mother but my grandmother was not always that way. But to my mom's credit I have always heard her speak very lovingly about her PIL's. In fact my grandmother liked my mom very much later.

    But seeing those experiences of my mom impacted me. I knew I can never be that traditional Indian DIL woman. She has the patience and kindness to forgive but I do not so it propelled me to be independent and assertive . Even though she and I have such diametrically opposite personality she never curbed my in any way.

    All the blessing have in my life, I owe it to my mom (and dad).


     
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  3. hrastro

    hrastro Platinum IL'ite

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    Haha haha your DH's lines made me laugh - but that just goes to show what a wonderwoman your mom is :)

    Wow! @sdiva20 ! You're indeed a very lucky woman ! Pranams to your mom!


    Teaching underprivileged kids, helping newbies, helping college entrants - is amazing - the satisfaction it gives is so heart warming - when you see them successful - all your efforts seems to have meaning !

    I get that @jasmine25 ! Hats off to you too!
     
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  4. msm

    msm Gold IL'ite

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    OMG - I still have not read through all posts inthis thread, just few glanced thru few pages&I've my proj. milestones come to my screen & with great reluctance am switching my windows... it just shows how lazy I've been and how many excuses I've been giving myself for each & every thing that I want to do.

    Feb.had been so tough for me and am just getting some breather, will try to complete reading all the great inspirations here by all ladies & try to imbibe few at least.

    @hrastro - Thanks very much for initiating such a nice thread.
     
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  5. Sweety789

    Sweety789 Silver IL'ite

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    @hastro - u r a great woman with so much organized and balancing life ver well. Hat's off to u :)
    earlier i ve read ur time management and always try to follow but only few times succeed if my MIL not interfer or my DS dont disturb me ..
    today i read only ur extras work,so much work is there so no time to read other's story. But wat i can say is how nicely u manage all our works and manage the things--i'm very much surprised.
    i'm a working woman but never able to manage my work or home properly. Nobody is blaming but i feel like i'm not making my MIL happy bcoz i'm not superfast in cooking or other works.i like to work like u Hastro but do not know wen i can??
    can u plz suggest some tips so i can manage my cooking without MIL help?? i want to finish my cooking to be done by 7.30am. bcoz after 7.30 i need to wake up my kid and make him ready for the playschool.
    ur sggestion will be help ful for me...
     
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  6. butterflyice

    butterflyice Local Champion Staff Member Platinum IL'ite

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    Here is the link to another of @hrastro's threads where she has elaborately explained how beautifully she manages her mornings. You might get some ideas.

    http://www.indusladies.com/forums/recipe-central/260874-morning-multitasking-whole-days-cooking.html
     
  7. Sweety789

    Sweety789 Silver IL'ite

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    Thnx Butterflyice ...actually i already read this forum & trying to follow but sometimes bcoz of MIL's interfere or DS work ,i'm not getting success.But still taking her ideas to make my work easier..
     
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  8. hrastro

    hrastro Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanx butterflyice - I seemed to have missed the query :)

    Sweety789 - When I used to work (my son was a toddler), and my FIL needed specialized diet as he was recovering from a surgery - I used to follow the same rule - Finish all cooking at one go and leave only the roti/rice/dosa/upma - one pot cooking for the rest of the times - use only a single pot/pan for main course - there shouldnt be much cleaning involved, rest can be reheated!

    So you can make changes accordingly - what helped me was chopping vegetables the previous night and making atta/batter before itself or making the pastes and gravies before - I had responded to one of the queries - a wife whose husband was too demanding but wouldn't help - let me find that thread also - there are several ideas in that too

    Thanx msm, I hope you have completed the reading - the responses have been very enthusiastic and inspiring :)


    Edit: @Sweety789 - here is the thread - http://www.indusladies.com/forums/r...s/266553-time-management-d-3.html#post3476979

    Also check Chitvish - jiffy cooking for working women and krishnaamma's ready made powders and gravies

    Also check this one for some interesting quick fixes with the right stock
    http://www.indusladies.com/forums/recipe-central/200767-what-can-you-make-10-a.html
     
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  9. Sweety789

    Sweety789 Silver IL'ite

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    Thnx @Hastro ... for spending time to help me..:) U r a versatile women..mein aap ke jaise to nahi ban sakti but aapki ideas jauru follow karungi..
    i'm not pampering u...but yes u r doing a lot of work not for ur home but for soceity as well. :bowdown Hats off to u ..
     
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  10. inspiredsoul

    inspiredsoul Bronze IL'ite

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    hatsoff @hrastro You really are a super woman. I feel inspired by your activities.
     
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