Extending parents stay during my delivery time - Pro's & Con's

Discussion in 'Pregnancy & Labor' started by AnithaPartha, Nov 1, 2013.

  1. AnithaPartha

    AnithaPartha IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    7,260
    Likes Received:
    2,160
    Trophy Points:
    338
    Gender:
    Female
    Hello Ladies,

    We're in a dilemma. Still haven't decided about this. My due is in April and my parents have to leave in March month. We're planning to extend their stay upto 3-6months and then to get in laws. By the time, they have to leave, I will be in my 36w and I don't want to take any emotional feelings at that time and I also feel that if my mom is near by me it will be good.

    But, few of friends who extended their parents stay faced issues later.. so, I want to know both pros and cons out of the extension.

    1. For how long, is it safe to extend parents stay after their 1st 6months stay? Max is 6months but I want to know if extending 3months is better than extending another 6months?
    2. What is happening during their next trip within the gap 6months time?
    3. Any previous experience?

    Please share here ladies...bie1
     
    Loading...

  2. SuccessMinded

    SuccessMinded Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,563
    Likes Received:
    411
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Gender:
    Female
    Anitha,

    If you want to play it safe, like someone else suggested, have them go back now, and come back in feb/march. That will be much better and they can be here for 6 months.. no tension of extension also..
     
    2 people like this.
  3. heron

    heron Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,335
    Likes Received:
    2,544
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    extend for 3 months...
    your friends are right. My mom and DH whom I considered legit are rifting..she has been staying for 5 months now..she is leaving shortly.
    Dont let them go by 36weeks...god forbid but you did hear about premature birth right...mine was premature @35 weeks...so have them but only extend 3 months...

    If everything is fine then 3 more months....good for you!
     
  4. ramyav_cse

    ramyav_cse Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    828
    Likes Received:
    179
    Trophy Points:
    108
    Gender:
    Female
    If I were you, I would send them now and bring them back close to my due date. And FYI, extending the stay might have an impact at the POE when they try to fly the next time. Also, I was told coming back the very next year might not be easy after extension.
     
  5. AnithaPartha

    AnithaPartha IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    7,260
    Likes Received:
    2,160
    Trophy Points:
    338
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Ladies,

    Thanks for all your replies.

    Heron,
    Yes, me too had premature baby during my 1st delivery at 33w.

    SM, Ramya,
    Regarding, sending them now and getting them back is also not an easy option !
    1. They can't return until May 2014 ( need to give a gap of 6months time after they leave and to return back)
    2. Need to prepone tickets and not sure of cost - though we can think about this
    3. Am going to complete 4months now and as a working mom, it is impossible to manage without parents help now. I have a 4yr old and he is going to school and I work little far. The nanny who used to help us also went to India for good.

    Mostly, they will leave and come back after 6months which is better option I feel when compared to the option that they can't come for next 1yr !
     
  6. Gossipgurls

    Gossipgurls Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    74
    Likes Received:
    54
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Female
    3mnts is good... My mom n DH were having a Cold War abt raising my DS(mom was here fr 6mnts)

    and after 3mnts dnt get in laws straight away , give it 2mngs break , gives u n DH to bond as family with new born before next set of parents arrive.
     
    1 person likes this.
  7. ramyav_cse

    ramyav_cse Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    828
    Likes Received:
    179
    Trophy Points:
    108
    Gender:
    Female
    Are you sure about this 6 months thing? My friend's parents came for her delivery n then went back to india for 3 months(my friend took her FMLA then) and then they came back to help her with the baby...i dont think this 6 months between trips is a written rule.
     
  8. Divyavignesh

    Divyavignesh Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    433
    Likes Received:
    263
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi ANitha,

    My aunt came o the US and after 6 months she extended her stay and she had problems to come again to the US. to play safe i would say don't extend because your parents need to come back when ur 2nd one is 6 months old to take care .
    Just think first 6 months wit your mil will go smooth and be happy:)
     
  9. vidu24

    vidu24 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    323
    Likes Received:
    98
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    Anita,
    I extended my mil stay for 6 more mnths. The thing is she cannot come immediately to US. She has to wait for 6mnths before she can fly to US. Otherthan that, there was no complications legally. If u r comfortable then go ahead and aply. It cost $290 and has to applied a mnth or 45 days before. Hope the imfomation helped u. All the best........
     
  10. Stephane

    Stephane Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    180
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    20
    Gender:
    Female
    All,
    I am also in the same situation. I have my mother with me and she had plans to go in Jan... But we are preponing to December and planning to bring her in April...as my due is in May.. Will it be an issue if she is back in 3 months....If somebody has practical experience please suggest.....
     

Share This Page