1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Expression of LOVE

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by 10shwetha, Aug 30, 2007.

  1. 10shwetha

    10shwetha New IL'ite

    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi,
    In almost everyones' love life and/ or in married life (be it love marriage / arranged marriage), the way & the amount of love we express towards our spouse keeps reducing over the years -Not that love has reduced / diminished but we seldom express.

    This trend is found in both male & female... the love that we express during courtship / first few years of marriage is not the same after 5/6 years. This is the majority i have seen in many people (friends, relatives and in this forum too).

    For instance, the no. of times we say I love u or make love or go outing or spend time FOR each other gets reduced as years pass by due to varied reasons...
    I feel that is the main cause of most of the problems in married life... Husband & wife love each other to the maximum but they don't express after few years (taking for granetd - it is obvious she/he knows it). But all of us CRAVE for the LOVE from our special one.
    Hence i think reinforcing to each other that i love you the same way, you are the one in my life - we can wade off many of the problems in married life (and save our marriage).

    So just wanted to start a discussion on how or what are those events/gestures that will keep telling each other that I still love you the same way (throughout our lifetime)...

    Let me start with a few like...
    1. Eating dinner together (as a family...) where there is an opportunity to run through our day with our spouse
    2. Saying I Love You atleast twice a day - one with Good Morning & the other with Good Night
    3. Once in a while, talking about the good times both had together pre or post marriage (which was full of love)
    .
    .
    .

    Expecting people to contribute

    Shwe
     
    Loading...

  2. MeenLoch

    MeenLoch Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    569
    Likes Received:
    26
    Trophy Points:
    50
    Gender:
    Female
    It's a nice thread. Restoring lost love..And u are so true, when u say, monotony consumes us and leaves us frustrated. More than courtship days, it s this phase of life when, husband or wife want to be loved. There is a famous marriage quote ' During the first few years, couple "want" each other and during the last few years they "need" each other..It s the middle phase when each of them is independent and this is exactly when their love/integrity is tested.


    4. Celebrate each other's b day, valentine's day and wedding anniversary in a big memorable way. Shobha De in her book called ' The spouse' puts it beautifully. In some of our regular routine works ( as in celebratin b days every year), there is some kind of security. These events assure you, you are still a family/ couple, subconsciously. Here are some ideas for anniversary celebrations
    http://www.indusladies.com/forums/married-life/10494-what-to-do-in-anniversary.html

    5.Cook what he likes, and if it s him, take her out to a place she likes or buy her something she loves. Also no cooking on Fridays /Saturdays. Eat out in a relaxed atmosphere.

    6. Date atleast once a month. Just two of you.

    7. Try adventure sports or gardening or some activity together. My husband and me put loud music on sundays. We dance together, in middle of chores (cleaning, vaccumming etc)

    Me yet to get experienced in this area. Seniors add somepoints :)
     
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2007
  3. umasridharan

    umasridharan Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    376
    Likes Received:
    9
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Shewtha
    A nice thread. Few ideas from me.

    7. go for a honeymoon every year, if possible twice a year.

    8. have a quiet romantic dinner -- just two of u -- in weekends

    9. send romantic, sexy sms to yr spouse whenever it is possible.

    10. read all the love letters shared by you

    regards
    uma





     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 12, 2010
  4. Jananikrithsan

    Jananikrithsan Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,161
    Likes Received:
    129
    Trophy Points:
    128
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Swetha,
    This is a thread that will give all of us many ideas on how to keep the essence of a marriage intact.
    My thots,
    Spend, steal time together.

    Go to the places in town where you went before or when just married.

    Leave small notes in places where your spouse will find them.

    Buy gifts for one another, need not be expensive,

    Look at old albums, which bring back wonderful memories.

    Laugh together at silly things you have done.

    Express yourself and rekindle your love for each other.
     
  5. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    23,654
    Likes Received:
    27,161
    Trophy Points:
    590
    Gender:
    Female
    I thought i will not answer to this thread....but again....

    Have you people heard of the seven year itch..looks like it attacks even immediately... it does not necessarily mean you are looking for a new partner (as hyped by romantic book/whatever?) ...why seven years.. Usually by the time you get to seven years, you are ready to start having children/have children. the strain of parenthood.. increased responsibility is sometimes enough he faults that you could ignore in your partner before scream at you as loud . Although many marriages will never experience the seven year itch, many others do. By the time you have your child, you probably have a lot of practice with communication skills. You’ll need them! The single most common reason that marriages break up is lack of communication.

    Stop taking your partner for granted. because you tend to do that as you get used to the roles played by each after a period of time...

    Develop a new shared interest or hobby anything...
    Concentrate on communicating effectively a hug in the morning, a cup of coffee together..a few sweet,gooey notes at inappropriate places...rack your brains..bring out new ideas....
    Experiment with new ways of bringing the excitment back it.. could be a hug, a i love you at the most unexpected times...


     
  6. subbutr

    subbutr Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    342
    Likes Received:
    19
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    our dear friends,

    :cool2: collections and well presented by shewataji,:clap

    Views by others comments adds colour and it's true that Love is such a miracle which binds the respondent & reciever when extended with more care & affections.

    Most important is to spend some more moments of intimate interactions with the near and dear improves the relationships.

    Subbu
     
  7. priyauc

    priyauc Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    257
    Likes Received:
    18
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Shweta
    Nice thread. However i feel saying i love you twice a day is like brushing your teeth.... like a routine, which will not involve feelings . Its a personal choice however. I guess we must hold respect for each other always,give space to each other . Buy each other a gift sometimes, go for a nice dinner, dress up for each other and communicate!!
     
  8. padmaiyangar

    padmaiyangar Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    179
    Likes Received:
    11
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    Expression of love in marriage

    After marriage, love has to be converted into action. This is to say that instead of telling spouse I love you, love her\him in the right manner that you actually love

    . A man\ women need to show love to his spouse by performing things that he knows his wife \husband will enjoy and remember in whole lifetime.

    Love beyond self

    love in a marriage, the selfless love holds prime importance. Love beyond your self is important to make your marriage alive. You should love your spouse and think about them beyond yourself. If you will think only about yourself only, it will be difficult for you to love your spouse sincerely. It is not the scenario of real love. The selfish people face a hard time to give and think of others, and this is what love is. Love is in fact more intense than just a feeling. It is an action and thus real love calls for sincerity and effort.

    A Husband's Love for His Wife

    . If you l forget love, your marriage will also start to wither away slowly
    Another most important form of love is to accept and validate. If you are the one who brushes off his wife's desires, choices and needs, it can cause serious trouble in your marriage. Your wife may feel rejected, as if her desires, decisions, opinions, hold no importance. It may enter her consciousness and may come back haunting to rip off the happiness of marriage. Love her, don't hurt her.

    A Wife's Love for Her Husband

    It is believed that it is easy for woman to keep a man happy. Ti is mainly because they don't have any special needs A man can be happier and less tensed when his two most important needs are met-sex and food. There is no doubt in the fact that the way to a man' heart is through his stomach You should find ways to be more caring in these areas and give off yourself in marriage.
     
  9. SunitaGN

    SunitaGN New IL'ite

    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    I read in Richard Bach's book once - something like this

    "Boredom in a relationship does not arise due to being physically close to each other for long period of time, but due to being mentally apart from each other for long period of time"

    So to keep a marriage always as fresh and as enriching as it is in the beginning - the couple must make sure to be mentally in tune with each other. As years pass, responsibilities increase, priorities change, time together reduces; what is important is to grow together with time. While leaving sexy notes for each other might work in the first 3-4 years of marriage, later just sitting together two cups of hot coffee is the 'romance' - also what might work for one couple might not for another. I think a really committed couple simply moulds and grows into life with the love they have for each other; changing their own unique definition of romance as time passes.....

    A very relevant thread :thumbsup Thanks for giving me the opportunity to write in!!

    Enjoy everyone.

    Sunita
     
  10. DivyaSharma

    DivyaSharma New IL'ite

    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    I want to convey my love for her, but in a non-romantic manner. That is to say, I love her, but am not IN love with her. Make any sense?
     

Share This Page