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Experiment

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by goldenhoney87, Jul 30, 2018.

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  1. Jul 30, 2018 #1
    goldenhoney87

    goldenhoney87 Silver IL'ite

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    After going through a recent post -if happiness is important in married life I wanted to write up a tiny experiment I did on myself a year ago from now.
    Extreme levels of friction in my married life at one point led me to spend lot of hours at work.I was happy working that way initially but soon burnt out.I was a happy person at work because I could think of nothing while am at work.But soon after working hours I felt like I am the most unhappy soul on this earth.
    I decided to take leave for a couple of days and do whatever made me happy in life till then. Being a woman i certainly thought i would go on a shopping spree and buy any random stuff that attracts me.I thought i can keep myself happy that way by rewarding.I applied for two day leave and filled my wallet with cash.Set out for shopping.
    When I was in a happy mood or otherwise normal whatever stuff attracted me were no more attractive on that day-clothes,jewellery,footwear, food stuff and the saloon that i would always love to step into.
    I had the food that I usually craved for.It neither made me happy.
    I spoke to few of my close friends over phone and it didnt make me happy.
    Went for a spa and felt more miserable.
    Very disinterested even to try a piece of jewellery or clothes for trial.
    That day i decided money/material is not the thing that's going to make us happy.
    Although it makes us happy at certain times or many of the times but not everytime and always.
    All the things that i mentioned above brought me happiness always.But the day i went behind them as a sole reason for happiness i was never happy.
    So i felt Happiness is time bound.
    When I was a student I found happiness in buying all the latest foot wear and clothes.
    Talking to old friends was the best part.
    Later on studying well made me happy at one phase.
    Securing a good job made me happy at one point.
    Receiving first salary and travelling made me happiest at a certain point of time.
    Healthy marital relation brought happiness at a one state.
    Having some free time in the midst of heavy work was bringing happiness.
    So i feel happiness is time bound and money can certainly never bring happiness all the time.
    This is what i understood and cancelled my second leave and went back to work with a happy face and started working on a healthy relation beacuse at that point of time that was what I thought could bring me happiness.
    Would be glad to know other experiences/experiments in life from all of you.
     
    goldenhoney87, Jul 30, 2018
    goldenhoney87, Jul 30, 2018
    #1
    Lalithambigai, shyamala1234, Topaz49 and 11 others like this.
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  2. Jul 30, 2018 #2
    GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear GH,

    Excellent experiment at demystifying the real want/need in life. Such realisations help us to find our real focus. I am happy for you.:clap2:
     
    GeetaKashyap, Jul 30, 2018
    GeetaKashyap, Jul 30, 2018
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  3. Jul 31, 2018 #3
    goldenhoney87

    goldenhoney87 Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks alot:)hugs to you:)
     
    goldenhoney87, Jul 31, 2018
    goldenhoney87, Jul 31, 2018
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  4. Jul 31, 2018 #4
    kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    Very nice snippet @goldenhoney87 .
    Good analysis.
    Yes, you said it right. Money does not buy happiness and Time is our best teacher.

    Next time try the same thing with a good friend or even with your spouse and spend some of that money for that other person.
    You will experience different emotions.

    Altruism also gives one contentment and satisfaction.
    Humans are gregarious animals; we need each other.
    We may think we need to be alone, but that is only an illusion.

    I truly liked your experiment and thank you for sharing it here.
     
    kkrish, Jul 31, 2018
    kkrish, Jul 31, 2018
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  5. Jul 31, 2018 #5
    Viswamitra

    Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

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    @goldenhoney87,

    Desires are always a moving target and it is impossible to make a bull's eye. Happiness outside of us doesn't exist and we have to invoke happiness from inside of us. Our mind is capable of taking us in a wild goose chase and we have to restrain that to focus on what really triggers happiness in life.

    Restless mind triggers more challenges in life and it is the restful and calmer mind that discover happiness in us. What we believe as happiness is different from what is true happiness. Equanimity to remain calm in both pleasure and pain, contentment to celebrate life, attitude of trusteeship of everything we possess, etc. lead us to true happiness.

    Conflicts by themselves don't cause injuries but it is our reactions to it that cause the injuries. If we learn to regulate our receipt, reaction and response properly, our lifestyle changes dramatically. My best wishes for a very happy life.

    Viswa
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2018
    Viswamitra, Jul 31, 2018
    Viswamitra, Jul 31, 2018
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  6. Jul 31, 2018 #6
    goldenhoney87

    goldenhoney87 Silver IL'ite

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    Gist of a calm/happy life explained so clearly by you sir.Thank you so much for putting it forward.
     
    goldenhoney87, Jul 31, 2018
    goldenhoney87, Jul 31, 2018
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  7. Jul 31, 2018 #7
    goldenhoney87

    goldenhoney87 Silver IL'ite

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    I feel at some point in life everybody realises this fact.
    Is it because of increasing nature of individuality among humans are we facing this ?
    Thank you so much mam for giving more insight into the practical problems of everyday social/family life.
     
    goldenhoney87, Jul 31, 2018
    goldenhoney87, Jul 31, 2018
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  8. Aug 1, 2018 #8
    kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    I don't know @goldenhoney87 .
     
    kkrish, Aug 1, 2018
    kkrish, Aug 1, 2018
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  9. Aug 3, 2018 #9
    Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:Very nice reading and learning.
    Happiness can never be purchased and it is always state of mind.
    If one decides to remain in happy disposition and maintain that propensity nothing can mar it. Happiness from within is durable.
    Regards.
    God Bless.
     
    Thyagarajan, Aug 3, 2018
    Thyagarajan, Aug 3, 2018
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  10. Aug 3, 2018 #10
    Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Happiness is like mirage. It seems like a pool of water a little distance away and it keeps disappearing as you go near it. At every stage of life, our concept of happiness keeps changing. What gave me happiness some seventy years back makes me smile now at my stupidity. There is a Tamil film song which tells us that we keep running after something or other not knowing that it is very much within us.
    Having said that, I must add that it is the mirage that is our driving force. Man keeps running after something or other all his life but nothing makes him permanently happy. Read this:
    [​IMG]
     
    Cheeniya, Aug 3, 2018
    Cheeniya, Aug 3, 2018
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