Excited kid how to control???

Bts · Aug 12, 2011

Hi .. I have a almost 6 year old son. He is a single child and gets pampered all the time. We live with in- laws who indulge him and cater to his indulgences. I try to put my foot in disciplining in spite of all this but most of the time i am made to look like a villain.

There are hardly any visitors at home other than occasional adults. He does play with children on his age in park or outside the house but not on a daily basis. Generally he is well behaved in school and other classes. He is very popular in all places.

But at the same time when there are any visitors esp relatives at home , he is super excited. He belivies all of them should play and talk to him rather than adult conversations . My in -laws who hardly socialise due to old age also expect all the attention .

Now my son since he is ignored starts shouting , screaming and jumping so that we notice him. This is very embarassing for me. I have told him to stop this behaviour. He totally ignores me at this point and he is on his own , totally out of control. Needless to say I am totally upset on this and all and sundry who visit me start advicing me on how to control him, put him in his place etc..:rant

also the common complaint i receive is my son does not listen to them ( ie my mom or in - laws or his uncles/ aunts ) in my absence. I feel totally smothered by this situation . I can never go anywhere or do anything leaving my son behind even for a hour as i would be dodged with complaints.:drowning

But when i leave him with my friends or anywhere else he is brilliant they are all praise for him. He is generally active and social child . He speaks well and gets friendly with everyone.
pls suggest how i should tackle him?? and others and their advices???

akilasendhil · Aug 12, 2011

hi bts,
read your post and understood your situation.your son was absolutely normal.you have to do some changes regarding his mind set.as you said,he was over reacting when your relatives or anyothers are fully present ,to grab their attention towards him.so you just don't give him the chance to do so.try to divert his mind by introducing him some brain oriented games,toys etc which increases his memory power and thoughts.this will help him to spend time.you just try to make out that in which field he was interested in.it may be drawing,reading story books,painting or even watching cartoons and help him to proceed in that. being a smart kid,he will grasp it quickly and he will spend his time where he is curious to learn about it in detail.
so dont worry.hope it helps you.

Srama · Aug 14, 2011

First when you have visitors, I think you should prepare him by telling him that there are going to be some adults, he can come say hello, speak for a few minutes or show something he has done or speak about his favorite book and then go watch a movie or something like that. To get him started with the idea that he need not be there every time, looks like a movie or a favorite show after he shares something about himself is a good beginning, preferably a little away from the conversation.

As for he behaving well with others and not with family, I think as a small child he is just seeing all the love and affection he gets from family and seems to feel it is ok and is taking liberties. Again setting boundaries and teaching falls on your shoulders and probably push comes to shove you have to explain to him that if you do not hear good things about his behavior from grand parents, you will simply have to leave him with a sitter or a friend - not to scare him but simply to set expectations. Also it might help him if you can assign him a small project to be done before your return - of course for this you need the co-operation from the adult as well.

Either ways, just repeated reminders and following through with the consequences will help him learn. And I am sure there will be a phase soon when he will refuse to come out even to say hello and then we will be wondering about that too!!

I cannot help but repeat that as moms we should keep doing what's best because even if it does not show immediately, it is making an impact on our children. So don't get frustrated, just come up with simple solutions, implement them - from what you say he does seem like a well behaved child, just that he is 'at home' with adults in the family.

As for others and their advices, I really can only say, simply ignore and work at what's best for you and your child. Best Wishes.