Excerpts From My Book in Today's Dinamalar!

krishnaamma · Jan 24, 2007

Have to give counseling!

Hi Sridhar,
It is a very good PDF page. Very nice advice for students. I think parents are giving more pressure on their children. They all want their children to get first rank in the class which is not possible. First parents must know the capacity of their children and they must not give pressure on their children. They are seeing them from their child hood and they know about them also.

And now a days these children are not having Moral classes in schools it seems. Actually they must have some personality development classes in there schools from sixth standard onwards I think. Or we have to give them some counseling classes and explain them to improve SELF CONFIDENCE. As you said, each and every student must think that if I fail this exam, ‘VANAM EDINDHU THALAYEL VELADHU’.

There are many things in this world to do. WE have to get good marks in the exams. Yes it is correct, but if we fail in that, we must work hard for the next time and try to pass in that. That is all. But no need to commit suicide. They must think of their parents, how they struggle for these children, to make them study. So we have to talk with our children and make them relaxed while their exams/interviews.

We must hear our children’s wishes and their capacity before we force them to do. Putting them in many tuition classes, dance class etc., and make them busy all the 24 hours and they will not be able to breathe freely. Some parents compare their children with other children and they will take the marks as their prestige issue and give more and more pressure on their child.

In a news paper I saw, many students in +2 level they became tensed before the Annual Exam and they sent to Dr. For counseling before the exam. See how much we are pressuring the children for marks.

As a person like you, (Writer) must do something for this. Yes you already wrote a nice book, but do something more than this to prevent children from committing suicide because of the marks. WE HAVE TO ADVISE THEM PROPERLY. WE HAVE TO CREATE SELF CONFIDENCE.

God gave us only one life and we must live what ever comes.’ Is it not?
Regarding my son we never compelled him to read. From his child hood in his school they will not allow students to bring their books on the exam day. So in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" /><st1lace>Krishna</st1lace>’s school, the students will read in the house that is all. Before entering the hall all the students will keep quite and they did their exams well.

Like that till date,(Now he is Final BE) he will not touch his books in the exam day morning and he will read up to <st1:time Minute="30" Hour="22">10.30pm</st1:time> in night. That is all. Children know their capacity and capability. He is one of the top rankers in his class and department. He got cash prize and shield from his collage for that. So we have to leave our children with out
forcing them to do what we want. They know better than us, they know their responsibility, and they will do things correctly. Only thing we must believe them, and give responsibility to them to do so.

I think I wrote a biiiiiiiiiig mail to you. :-D
Bye Sridhar

varalotti · Jan 24, 2007

Seena, Here's the English Version of the Story!

Dear Seena,
The English version of this article appeared in DH on 9th Feb, 2006. Here's the link for that.
http://www.deccanherald.com/deccanherald/feb92006/dheducation111714200628.asp
Let me have your views.
sridhar

varalotti · Jan 24, 2007

Thank You Krishnaamma!

Hi Krishnaamma,
Thanks for the nice post, the big one and a good one at that. I appreciate your motherly concern for the children. I too share you concern, Krishnaamma. Whenever I meet a child in Plus two or a parent of such a child, I never forget to tell them that while it is important to study diligently, the marks are not that important to be obsessed about. But in spite of that this mania goes on. God alone can help those children and those parents.
regards,
sridhar

safa · Jan 24, 2007

The first step is to acknowledge the existence of fear and recognise the presence of butterflies in the stomach. Live with that fear for a while and try to make friends with that feeling.

I really wondered reading this. This is a special advice and haven't heard yet.
I was one among the group who didn't have exam fever. During my PDC exam's study holidays I watched about 20 movies. But always the success behind me was my parents. They didn't compel me to learn and didn't remind me that your exam is coming. My confidence was that " My parents' have confidence in me" .

Have seen so many students who forgot whatever they learnt for exam. Every children need their parent's support. Who will give us such energy and support , if they didn't? A kind word from mother will bring out wonders. But no body is ready to do so.That is the lack of confidence they have in their children.

You have written a very good lesson to children and parents. Parents have to read this and help their children to accept such thoughts.

Manjureddy · Jan 25, 2007

Dear Sir,
Read your counselling to overcome fear. Come february , the media is full of stressbusting tips for the hapless kids who are taking exams ,like going into the lion pit.
Still, tension prone kids keep feeling tense, bindaas kids keep shrugging off. Its all in their temperments. Besides, the lousy education system we have here makes a big Tyrannosaurs out of exams. Thats unfortunate. So the best stress buster would be an announcement from the education ministry that the methodology of evaluating merit has been totally revamped !

The plankwalking mental exercise can help people grapple with stage fear .

Once Jay Leno had remarked that during his early days, to quieten his butterflies, he would imagine everyone in the audience sitting there in polka dot boxer shorts. That ludicrous mental image made him lighten up and face them with confidence !

Manjula

varalotti · Jan 28, 2007

Thanks Manjula Madam

Dear Madam,
First apologies for the delayed response. As I was busy sculpting the jealousy thread, I almost missed your post.
Your observations are right. If you go to the core of our present system, you find nothing but competition there. The early feeling of "Who's got a longer spear or a sharper sword?" gets translated into, "Who has scored higher marks?" And education therefore brings out the worst in people.
I still remember an incident in my school days. I had chosen Algebra Geometry as my elective. I was not very strong in solving raiders in geometry. So I sought the help of a classmate in solving some raiders.
He said bluntly, "No I cant help you, sridhar. friendship is different, competition in the final exam is different. I wont ask your help, nor will I help you."
I was stunned.
Actually education, learning will have to be a co-operative process. Instead we have made our institutions Darwinian jungles where the fittest alone can survive.
Thanks for the participation, Manjula Madam,
sridhar

Varloo · Jan 29, 2007

Dear Sridhar,
I just read the post in English. Thank God, I stumbled on this. I can ask Aravindh to read it just before his exams. He is not usually very worked up. Also we chart out his study pattern and he studies from Day 1. No last minute studying for him. So I am confidante that he will do well in his board exams. Your post will give him more confidence.
Thank you very much.

varalotti · Jan 29, 2007

Thanks, Seena!

As I had to reply to many posts simultaneously I somehow missed out on your reply. Heartfelt apologies.

Acknowledgement of fear is the first step of courage. My teacher in the school used to say that if you do not feel butterflies in your stomach you have not prepared well. But if you do not become friends with those butterflies, you are not going to do well in the exams.

I used to tell many students, that the examiner is no God. He will never know that you spent 20 hours a day preparing for your exam. He will only know what you wrote for that 3 hours. So having a relaxed mood is very important.

I can go on talking about exams. I want to have a special thread on examination blues where we can discuss a lot. I will plan that during February/March.
Passing CA exams gave me a good insight of what is required for a successful performance.
Thanks for the post, Seena.
sridhar