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Every woman needs to have her own financial independence

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Ragini25, Sep 14, 2012.

  1. eandian

    eandian IL Hall of Fame

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    Don't you think campaigning in Massachusetts or salt lake city, utah would have been a lot more fun ;-)
     
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  2. freddycat

    freddycat Platinum IL'ite

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    Let me join the overcrowded responses :).

    I agree that woman needs to have freedom/financial independence to secure her future. It varies from additional financial support, to need an adult conversations in my daily life :mrgreen:.

    I feel that if I focused only on my family, it will be suffocating for me.....I agree that I am an eccentric! (before adding the blame on to my family members).

    More than the financial needs, I like the intellectual challenge at work, being a pioneer of the technology (tiny,teeny particle?), growing with the technology of my business means a lot me. I can say to my family future generations, 'back in 19xx, I was part of that' and they are going to say, that was a dinosaur, I have a better one.

    I disagree that raising the family interferes with career. I have done a good job of raising my son as a responsible adult with all aspects of his life. Also, I am very grateful to my parents and DH, without their help/support, I would not have achieved my goal in life. With God's grace, I was able to cross many hurdles. I would say, the price I paid along the way, was my health!
     
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  3. Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    MaritalBliss,
    I disagree. It can only be a joint decision, and not a "woman's exclusive choice".
    First of all, it does not mean that both parents work therefore the children are not properly cared for. That is not true AT ALL. There are plenty of working parents who raise good children.

    But, let's say you folks decide one of you need to be stay-at-home-parent. Ok, no problem with that. Would you be equally willing if your hubby wants to be a stay-at-home-dad? Would you then take up the other role? If you are equally willing for that (at least in concept - we know this is hypothetical here) - then it makes sense.

    Else why would only a "woman should have a choice". Your hubby has the same privileges as you do to make choices.
     
  4. Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    On another note, there was this tangential story I am aware of that also processed this thread topic in my mind. A friend of mine - she has been married for 14 yrs!!! Love marriage, and even their marriage was happy for first 10-11 years. Reasonably cozy couple, and 2 kids!!!!

    He just divorced her recently! In the last 2 yrs things did not go well, and end result of 2 yrs confusion, he divorced her!

    Trust me NO ONE (incl the wife) ever anticipated divorce - This was one of those HAPPY MARRIAGES with 2 kids and WELL SETTLED LIFE story here!

    Unraveled to bits in last 2 yrs. Not in wildest dream, anyone thought of this. Totally out of the blue.

    Now the girl has not worked for the last 14 years, yes there is some alimony maintenance etc but major problem now. Luckily some in the family are trying to support her, she was thinking WHY DO I NEED TO WORK, I HAVE A LOVING HUBBY, HE IS EARNING WELL, Let me raise my 2 kids etc. Life changes - a divorce, a death, unexpected events.

    Always good to be on your own feet.

    We always think that these things can ONLY HAPPEN TO OTHERS. Our life is secure, nothing can happen in our life. My dad's cousin - he was a loving hubby and wife and 3 kids. One vehicle accident in India, whole life for the family changed in one second.

    This is LIFE. So, best be prepared.
     
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  5. Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

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    dear sreesri,
    i really like your parenting style............very few parents try to make their kids independent from such tender age & yes,you rightly said its not financial independence that should be the target but self sufficency......whether by earning ourself or by managing the hard earned money handed to us in with much trust.believe me its harder to be careless with money not earned directly by you..........

    ,the 20% share right of women on men salary is a joke......we have to understand whether man earns or woman earns or both earn the money is OURS ........NO ME,MINE thing in family.what a joke to get 20% of our own money.....
     
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  6. Neerjavakil

    Neerjavakil Silver IL'ite

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  7. MaritalBliss

    MaritalBliss Platinum IL'ite

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    In my case, my kids like me being at home and I like being there for them. I dun pamper them...but they just want someone to talk to, to share what happened in school. Small things like sending them to school and fetching them, means a lot to them. I also wanna bring up my kids my way and Instill our family values in them. My kids are aged 7 and 3.

    I am on unpaid leave this year and have a job waiting for me, but I dun feel like going back seeing that my kids are doing well.

    Not only young kids, even teenagers need their parents...I've seen a lot of kids doing wrong things due to peer influence. Many kids come back to a empty home with no one to guide them and inculcate good values in them.

    As for financial independence, my DH sal goes into a joint acct for which we both have ATM cards.

    I can't be planning for scenarios thinking what happens if he leaves me..knowing him, I believe deeply in my heart that he wld not do that to us. And touchwood, if it happens, I can go back to work anytime.
     
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  8. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    That sums up my current position. With me at home, life is more relaxed and stress free for all of us. I like being home. I can go back to earning money any time - either by a job or starting something of my own. I don't see any reason to add stress to our current life just to be more prepared for worst case eventualities like death or divorce.

    Now, if DH and I weren't both OK about my being home, then, it would make sense for me to work even though we don't need the extra money now.
     
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  9. Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    Fair enough MB and Rihana.
    Different points of view, I suppose.

    Also the fact that both you and your spouse think about it the same way (your viewpoints match on that with your spouse) helps in your case.
     
  10. parvathi1980

    parvathi1980 Platinum IL'ite

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    I have a five year old and I think my time and education is being put to good use by helping him with his studies and instilling good values in him. He is dealing with certain speech issues and I need to be around him constantly ....talking and making him answer questions. Let us not judge women who are at home with their degrees locked up in the locker...it is more likely that they have issues they do not wish to share with others. They are probably making sacrifices you are not aware of.
     
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