Enough of compaling about MIL, lets talk about DIL for once!!!

Hai every body,
my friend has this scheming and manupulative dil who gives a different version to her husband about her in laws. my friend educated sensible let go of her only son to make his family life good. now her dil has given birth to a kid. she is invited by her son to take care of his kid. my friend is really worried to manage this issue. any advice
with regards
subbi

 

Dear Sravanthi,

What's happening in your Aunt's family is really very troubling. But every family has some complexities that they have to overcome to build trust and bonding.

I guess your aunt's son would be your cousin n his wife is your SIL. Your SIL is - as said - young and frivolous, has no idea that she's only ruining not only her life but also everyone related to them. Most parents with just one kid are prejudiced, for that matter any parent will not tolerate tears from their kids even if they are wrong.

Someone neutral in your family should approach and listen to what she has to say and what ur brother feels abt it and then try to clear their clouded mind. The point should not be to pick on what n who said the sick stuff but to resolve and make them understand what life really is?

I guess if your SIL is put into thinking she surely would understand ur bro and move on in life with the right spirit. If there is no one neutral, you can even try a qualified professional counsellor. I see no harm in it. But if she continues to be nasty, I guess they have to get through on their own. The more others interfere there after, the more a mariage breaks just because of Ego and rumours around.

As rightly said, hubby and wife issues is best resolved between the four walls, and once it's out in the forum, it surely will leave a scar. And I also believe no matter what, even if one of the couple is matured enough, then there would be no problem in making things better. It's a knot of understanding and reliance. I guess the fault lies on both no matter who is wrong and who is right?

Take care and don't get upset, there are a lot of situations where we can't do anything to help but we surely can stay neutral.

 

Dear Subbi,

No matter how manipulative ur friend's DIL is, ur friend shud not lose out on the lovely value time that she can spend with her grand kid. She surely is old enough to understand and mature enough to handle the situation. There is no way she can stay totally isolated from her Son's family. If she continues to be good and understanding, I guess in no time her DIL will change, if not, it's her DIL's loss not hers. Her son must know her better.

 

Hi Sravanthi,
I agree with Blonde that the world is a combination of good and evil. Neither all mils are bad nor all dils. It's not the question whether you are good or bad... if you can match your frequency with the other-- both can go at ease.:yes:
regards
reeja:wave

 

dear op, i also agree there are bad dil too....as on every stage of life there are good people as well as bad too....but i believe that there are more bad mil as culture provides them upper hand on dil and also the tools for abusing....

just out of curiosity i am asking that how do you know the story of your aunt home??? did you witness it yourself or your aunt told you????

 

9 year old thread!!!!! Didn't OP change her viewpoint still?