As mentioned in my other threads, I am very much trying to develop my inter-personal skills and all the threads would be related to enhancing my social/office interactions, dealing/handling people etc. So, here goes the next one. I am not that much of a people's person and my interaction with people have been very less all through out my school/college/private/personal levels. So, never ever observed people or dealt with people accordingly. But, now I understand that observing one's surroundings and observing people, esp at workplace is very important to improve my personality. But I always end up at the wrong end. So, as soon as I meet a new person, what is it that I need to observe the most/the least, so that I would know if there can be a second conversation with that person? I understand that every one gives a hint about themselves but unfortunately I realize it very late and the damage is already done. And the hints are always new. I can never get those hints. For eg:1) , a person from other state or other parts of AP, would always end up comparing their city and the present city they are located in. It would always be "we just don't get this xyz thing here..." or "people always dress up like this here" or "people eat so much of spicy food here". I really don't care what is available in this city and what is not, but I surely understand that this is one immature thing to talk about. And why don't I get the clue that they are just venting it out on me???? Stupid me.... 2) When a person bat mouths another colleague on their back and be super nice in front of them. 3) When a person is always talking about goody goody things about ones' spouses/parents/kiddos or always engaging in talks about what new things they bought. Gawd..why would I want to know about their family? I never discuss mine. I never realized I fell prey to such interactions and repent very badly that I did not get clues about it. I am sure the next interaction with a new colleague won't be in one of those three categories, but there could be many other ways to understand about a colleague. Kindly guide me in understanding people, how to ignore such intruding people or whatever you think would be helpful to me, to increase my people skills.
ha ha ha... I understand that... I mean....I am also very silent..I just dont talk about anything...I am little mysterious in a way if I have to say.....very mysterious actually.... but now i am sort of open book..but still i find it very weird when ppl talk about silly things like you mentioned..sometimes i feel like running away from a place when people talk such silly things..... but yes..accept people are like that... just value what they have to say ...may be if we dig deeper into silly conversation we might end up making great communication and bonding..... we never know
Human nature is such that people always enjoy talking about themselves. Or about their life, family, things that happened in their past, etc etc etc. It is a very good icebreaker at times when meeting somebody for the first time. You can listen carefully, and even if you don't actively memorize things, you will recall certain important facts when ever you have conversations in future. When somebody comments on the way people dress, or food habits - its not always that they are commenting negatively. When you go to a new place, you automatically compare with what you are familiar with. At first it is always what you know which wins. As time goes by, you become more accepting. I heard from one person that God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason - to listen more and talk less. Most people talk because they yearn to speak to another human being, not necessarily because they have something profound to share.
Yes, I do understand that. But I think, I am mature enough to get that negative vibes. I have seen colleagues presenting such concerns in a more positive way and it is only these negative vibes that concerns me. What is that I should do in such cases? Keep mum? Will that work? only a wise soul can say that. I think it is time for me to start implementing it. you seem to be someone who has a lot of positive aura around you and hence you can dismiss such incidents. I wish I were like you. But these people I am talking about, are really loud about their information that is to be shared. And after all that they have shared, they would ask me, "do you have such objects in your home???? " Whatever, I now, get it that I need to remain silent during such conversations. Is it so? Or am I making too generic conclusion? I mean, where do I put an end to such conversation?
you seem to be very young and naive person. Okay I will give you a mantra. When you get this kind of a doubt, just give a smile and dont say anything except 'oh!', 'I see!' and 'Really!' from time to time.
Ahem, the more the analysis abt people, :mrgreen: the less the people you will have to develop your people skills.
All I am asking is to share your own experiences while dealing with people. How does one know where to draw a line? How does one deal diplomatically? Most of the times, watching others does help a lot, esp for someone who is a little poor at people management.
everybody has different situations. there is no one common solution for these things. don't micro analyse situations and people. you are young, learn with the flow. nothing teaches you better than life and your experiences. the more you try to find faults, the more miserable you are going to be. they are just your office colleagues and nothing more. so trying to find motives, trying to outsmart somebody is not the way. be yourself, and do what is right, the path will clear itself even if it feels that there is no value..you make a few mistakes, but you learn. you can't be perfect applying the experiences of other's to your life. all said remember,the same people you are watching and judging will also be doing the same and have a opinion about you that could shock you..
I wish I had added this P.S: I always believe that every other person has their own level of grasping things.Some are wise enough to understand it easily, some learn from their own experience, some need guidance and a few need repeated guidance. These wise souls are the ones who lead others and give guidance accordingly and I strongly believe that maha rishis were those wise souls who lead the common people with tales and stories that they could understand. I am one of those commoners who need to be told in a lay man's terms. I am not really asking how to judge people.. nope I wouldn't do that. Being in a corporate sector where there is lot of interaction, I want to engage myself in such a way that I do not end up being labelled as "dumb" or any such thing. And I strongly believe that age is really not a factor in determining one's ability to analyze things. It depends on how willing the person is. Something which is common sense to one might be an enlightenment to another. And in a few threads, a few matured souls have suggested me to keep myself at bay from others personal activities. That is quite a helpful tip. Just expecting few such tips.
