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Empathy- the big care for small things!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by priya4raj, Apr 12, 2014.

  1. priya4raj

    priya4raj Silver IL'ite

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    There was an old lady who would carry vegetables on her head, grown on the little space of their land, and come to our house very early in the morning, every Wednesday. She would enter our gates, with grins, exposing her teeth stained with betel leaves, and yelling my mom's name. She would converse with my mom, as if they were known from their birth, a thing which would sometimes even irritate my paternal grand-mom. The lady would get a doze of fresh brewed coffee, or breakfast (if made), every time she visits.

    I would ask my mom winking, "You gratify her with fresh coffee because she puts load of ice on your head, saying that your-buying-first-brings her good fortune, right?"
    My mom would say, "Cha... Do you know from how long she comes, how she suffers for this little sum of money...? At least, we can afford her this", and she would tell stories of that old lady which would eventually enlighten me that smallest of the small gratifications do really matter. Many mothers have this trait that the great mother, Teresa extended to her fellowmen, empathy! And they are the people who supersede the question of 'should I' or 'Why should I?' into "why not I'..

    For me, the world still is in hold of empathetic people, people who know, empathy is putting us in others shoes, and those who practice it, apart from the abusers of all kind, those who frown at their neighbor's growth, who deceive their own kith and kin, who photograph an accident, instead of helping out, people who stick on to what-can-I-do-for-that attitude.

    In a busy morning, while transports peak up, while the blood pressure rises,
    even while the thought of a missed bus threatens, there is someone who drifts a physically challenged, carefully to the other end of the road..

    Though the monthly income of a middle class man would be ready to be gobbled by burdening tuition fees and long-awaited weekend celebrations, when a co-worker sheds tears, the hands extend to wipe out the tears, as well as to empty his own pocket of pennies.

    When a new mother is struggling in a new places, unable to handle herself as well as the newborn, a neighbor's parent, who had visited her children, suddenly becomes mother of four!

    When a woman encounters a struggling tear, around the corner of the eye of another woman, co-traveling in a train or bus, she silently prays a word, for the issue to be solved, without pestering the affected!

    An already over-tired husband offers to cook, feed and assist in sleeping the kids, when he understands his better-half's physical discomfort, or vice-versa!( somebody might ask me, should wives only cook?)

    A young child, celebrates its birthday with special children, wholeheartedly and smiles along with the unadulterated souls!


    Practicing empathy isn't too hard.. a little bit of humanity, care and with the understanding that 'this life is temporary', if one has a passionate ear to listen, he is already empathetic. With all the good feelings that those people impart, and the fact that they would outgrow much more empathetic children, these people teach us that 'simple things do matter'. And as a cliché, I would like to say, rain befalls, a flower blooms, innocence prevails, that which shows, God hasn't lost hope in humanity!

    A silent prayer is worth more,
    instead of kindling the sore,
    A promising smile, a word of hope,
    might deliver someone the courage to cope,
    the sorrow or delight, which was yours that day,
    in the cycle of time, might evolve into mine, one day!
    or even if it doesn't..
    fake sympathy might instantly flatter,
    but small things of care, really do matter,
    lets emulate in sowing love,
    never-the-less, He is watching from above!
     
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  2. navs23

    navs23 Platinum IL'ite

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    Wow, wow, wow! so glad to end the week on such a positive, feel good note.

    Edmund Burke said, 'The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing'. There is nothing worse than watching a person suffer and do nothing about it. A person, who goes above and beyond and feels the pain, even when he does not experience it, is a good man.

    It might look like the end of the world is coming, it's the kali yug and all, but as much as there is bad around, goodness prevails.

    The poetry at the end, did you write it? Super awesome!!!!
     
    3 people like this.
  3. FromMars

    FromMars Gold IL'ite

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    This world needs more people who can show empathy. Just like charity begins at home, so does empathy. Empathy needs to be taught to children!!
     
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  4. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Priya,

    Yes, a good one.

    Small small acts born out of empathy makes a lot of difference in others lives. Only thing is we should have a compassionate heart. It gives them a confidance that all is not lost. A little pat, a little help, a lttle recognition of goodness, a listening ear...all these do make a lot of difference.
    Thank you.

    Syamala
     
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  5. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Very nice post. World has not become very bad as many of us think. Mercy, empathy
    and kindness still persist to hold the society in good shape and colour.
    Sometimes we observe that people who talk rough and harsh words by nature run to help immediately than those with soft nature.
    Jayasala 42
     
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  6. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear priya
    Empathy is a very complex subject. I never knew there could be shades of empathy until I chanced upon a letter by Archbishop Fenelon, a famous theologian of the 17th Century. Whenever my wife and I go out of our way to bring succour to the people in the lower strata of society in their hours of distress, my daughters would ask us why we were so grossly overstepping our resources to do this. They would tell us that it must be because we could not say 'No' or because of our personal pride involved in such matters.

    I was stunned that Fenelon had said it some four centuries back and rather ruthlessly too! 'You have spent all your life in the belief that you are wholly devoted to others and never self-seeking', he once said, 'nothing so feeds self-conceit as this sort of internal testimony that one is quite free from self-love and always generously devoted to one's neighbours'. These words disturbed me a lot. It was as though Fenelon could see through me and put me on the mat! He seemed to accuse me that all such devotion that seemed like genuinely for others was really for my own self!

    I felt exposed and naked. I ran through all my acts of empathy through the different stages of my life and I found it difficult to affirm that pride was not the reason for such acts. When others spoke highly of my acts of empathy I felt elated. When no one noticed some of them, I even felt disappointed and deflated. Over a period of time, it became my habit to fish for compliments for my acts of empathy.

    Then a thought struck me. Merely because I felt elated by all the praise I was receiving for my acts of empathy and kindness, should I stop them altogether? Will it not amount to turning deliberately self-effacing to clear my conscience? At the end of the day, I may have a crystal clear conscience but scores of needy people would be denied of all the help and friendly and supportive hand. I decided it was better to be a benevolent hypocrite than a barren hearted recluse!
    Sri
     
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  7. PushpavalliSrinivasan

    PushpavalliSrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Priya,
    As Mr Cheeniya has said empathy is a complex subject.It brings both pleasure and pain. If it is shown to a deserving person we feel elated. On the other hand at times it brings uninvited trouble. I had personal experience which was quite disturbing. I also read In news that a lady helped a hit and run accident victim. She took the victim to hospital and she was accused as the one who made the accident by the victim. Yet people like us who have a soft heart can't blindfold our eyes and carry on without showing empathy.
    PS
     
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  8. priya4raj

    priya4raj Silver IL'ite

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    Dear cheeniya sir,
    I believe that whatever you have said is associated with charity, and i feel empathy is associated even in the smallest feelings of everyday nitty gritties. Many do charity and very few analyse, whether it really benefits the needy or the self.. And i am happy that your analysis skewed you towards positivity. Though the subject is complex, do you think that it is complex to inhibit the quality of being empathetic? Don't we come across many empathetic hearts who share their single food with four?
    It rather becomes complex, when the quality is taken to be granted and made use of. As said, "When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed".. but empathy, according to me, is something more and apart from giving. Taking something given, with the proper attitude also is concerned with empathy. I don't know whether i've conveyed what i feel precisely. Forgive me, if i am wrong. Thanks Sir, for your insight into the topic! :)
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2014
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  9. priya4raj

    priya4raj Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Pushpa ma'm,
    I totally agree. Today's world has turned so mean that every single word and action that we take, has to be thought twice. It do happens as you said, and things like that happen for people who tend to be good and simple, but that doesn't deter them from being good, na..as you have said.. we continue to be empathetic.. Thanks for sharing your views. :)
     
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  10. priya4raj

    priya4raj Silver IL'ite

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    @ navs, it's my try. :) Thanks..
     

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