Apologies for the long post, but I am here to vent & seek any valuable suggestions from you ladies. For some background, this was posted earlier this year – http://indusladies.com/community/threads/10-years-of-relationship-wedding-called-off.299441/ My sister was in a confused on & off relationship for years, when they were about to tie the knot she called off 15 days before the wedding due to too many issues with the guy. After this episode, with her consent my parents immediately searched another alliance, she did not like the guy, and she did not express this to my parents. They asked her to take time, think & make a decision in few days (2-3). My parents are very conservative, so she basically never spoke to the guy. But verifying all the other details about family & guy, everything seemed fine since we knew the guy’s family well. We got the guy’s acceptance & when my parents were about to check her consent she vanished. I mean she simply left home without telling anyone, without acknowledging the anything; she did this for the 3rd time in last 4 years. 2nd time she left home about a year ago & got back home only for this wedding (one she broke). Now when she was pressurized she again left so every time she has to make a decision, make a choice she leaves. It’s so easy, isn’t it! Why am I being affected here?! My biggest sin according to my parents was getting married before my elder sister. I married my best friend; at the time of my marriage my sister had confirmed she would be marrying her boyfriend. My parents were never happy with both since it was love marriages. I was told they can’t have both the girls at home & since my in-laws were little pushy back then, they wanted me to marry the same year. Now after 2 years, they blame it all on me, no one at talks to me apart from my sister & dad. Nobody will listen to me either. My sister has no money, no job, no friends, & I can go on.. So I send her money, helped her rent a place, taking care of her from quite sometime. My frustration is about everything she put of all us & to add on, she is always at home, every time I ask her about job, she says she has been interviewing, she is not been able to clear interviews & this is going on from last 1year. The moment I get pushy she takes offense, as long as I don’t talk anything against her, I don’t talk about marriage, and she is fine. If I do raise these topics, she will stop talking to me, stop using wtsapp. Not that I don’t understand her state of being broken, away from family, away from they guy she loved & things just did not work. I do understand & acknowledge every bit of her pain. But she is doing nothing about it, she is always at home, alone, helpless, no food, no job situation. I feel sick sitting 1000s of kms away from her, not able to concentrate of my job, my family here, being worried about her all the time. I encourage her to get into any job even if it’s a simple job just to get out of the house, pursue her hobbies, I also tried pushing her to seek counseling, NOTHING has worked, and she does nothing. On weekends I call her, talk to her for hrs about things she can do to heal. I also try not to talk about of this all the time, I keep it casual but remind her of things she should do before I let her go. We are middle class family, DH is a gem, says nothing against whatever I do, and supports me all ways he can. Supporting her financially is getting very difficult (she is high maintenance too), we plan to live in US only for few years & return home with some savings where we can build our lives. Every time I transfer money, I feel guilty of not telling my husband, at the same time I also feel responsible towards her, and I hate these mixed emotions! L This is emotionally very disturbing as well since she cries to me on the phone about missing mom & dad. About everything that has happened, some times she is so positive, she assures everything will change for good & after a while she is so negative, it scares me so much. I don’t really believe in horoscope but after some things in life you tend to have some belief developed, so as per her horoscope she should get by this September otherwise she might never marry, she is turning 30 this month. What if she is alone all her life, she is not even career oriented, these what if’s? & ALL of emotions, thoughts are draining me…!