Emotional versus practical thinking

Renu1999 · Mar 27, 2010

ANd one more thing If you could stop talking to your husband about returned to india plan,when,where ,with whom for now...... I think that way you ,your husband ,your inlaws will stopping planning about far future now.

I hope this will definitely work out.

shrutidunwoody · Mar 27, 2010

Ya renu i wont stress . Thanks

shrutidunwoody · Mar 27, 2010

No renu actually since the time i am pregnant , my sil, my inlaws have been discussing these things with dh. Its my fil who thinks about far future. He says that we all can live together and the grandchild will get proper schooling , education , culture in india.He says he will get all the values to respect elders etc etc. He says that we both can work and he can leave the kid to school as he has been seeing that kind of arrangement in his society.

My sil who is also in abroad tell my dh that he should take responsibility and take care of them since they are old.

These all talks they only bring up.My dh tries to avoid these talk as much as possible. He is very happy with his job here and says it is very hectic to work in india with all the hectic timings but he thinks emotionally also.

So when my dh tells me about them, i just tell him to answer firmly about his plan of living here for so and so years instead of just telling them ok ok we will see and deceiving them. And also if we are returning we would like to live seperately so that there is no confusion in future.

But my dh just says lets see so they just keep on disscussing the topic.

Renu1999 · Mar 27, 2010

while we ladies generally tell our mom that we will live for few years and return and they will keep quiet. but I find it very hard to shut up husbands family..... they are all always curious what to do... Leave it to your husband.... let him handle or learn to handle this. You please tell your husband if you have any plan never reveal anything to their side. it is from my own experience it is much better when they handle their families...

shrutidunwoody · Mar 28, 2010

Ya renu i will take your advise into consideration. As is i never interfere into family matters. i have left it entirely to my dh to decide. Thanks renu.

ShilpaMa · Mar 29, 2010

Shruti, I shall vote for pratical thinking of staying close by but not under one roof... these are tactics to get their son back under same roof... and in any case we're side-lined when all of them get tog to think of a better future, if things go really bad.
Yes one diplomatic way to clearing mess is we dont have troubles with her.. god knows what prblm she has.. and once you try to clarify all mud slinging is done on you.

However pregnancy is a time to enjoy and remain relaxed.. not worrying about future as it greatly impacts the growth of child & high anxiety levels of mother lead to hyper-active kids....
Tell him you'll try to cope up with his decisions but you would always prefer to stay closeby.

shrutidunwoody · Mar 30, 2010

Thank you friend for understanding me. yeah my dh assured me today that he would buy a seperate house if we have plans to go to india. Ya i wont worry too much about future now.