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embracing stress

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by bhagyachinu, Mar 29, 2011.

  1. bhagyachinu

    bhagyachinu Gold IL'ite

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    To what shall I compare this life of ours?
    Even before I can say
    it is like a lightning flash or a dewdrop
    it is no more.
    - Sengai


    Yes, life is like that. Yet, what all we do to make ourselves and others uncomfortable while we are here. Can’t we be a little more magnanimous. Well, I am talking to myself. When I imagine what all I do from morning to evening to make people uncomfortable – that too my family whom I profess to love very much! My most horrible face is reserved for them. What did they do to deserve that?

    Think about this. I wake up in the morning and go to the kitchen. My husband comes and switches on the TV. I get irritated – see I’m standing in the kitchen and he is not even allowing me some peace and quiet. So I go and demand (Yes, demand) him that he switches off the TV. Then my son wakes up – I want him to go straight and brush his teeth, drink his milk, have bath, eat breakfast… wait – what is he? A machine? Him being a kid he has his own agenda. Then I start shouting at him – because he’s delaying me for work. And this goes on till I go to sleep. The only thing I contribute is towards increasing the irritation level of this world.

    The funniest thing is most of stress is because of trivial things which doesn’t even deserve a second look. The problem is that I expect others to behave in a way that is convenient to me. When we look at each and every instance which irritates, we will find that it is because we chose to be irritable at that time. There is no question of others being fair or unfair (I know many won’t agree). Everybody will behave in a way that will make them comfortable. You have no role in that.

    Like in this mullah story:
    "May the Will of God be done," a pious man was saying about something or the other. "It always is, in any case," said Mulla Nasrudin.
    "How can you prove that, Mulla?" asked the man. "Quite simply. If it wasn't always being done, then surely at some time or another my will would be done, wouldn't it?"


    Since we are all Gods, it’s sure god’s will that is being done – individual gods making individual decisions.

    What am I going to lose if I allow my husband to watch TV? Is my son not doing the same thing which I was doing when I was his age? I have done worse things if you ask me – the kids these days are to be pitied because their areas of mischief is limited. His activities are limited to the four walls of our house whereas I used to roam around the whole village, the neighbouring villages and beyond – no one even knew where I was and who I was with.

    I guess it’s all a question of our perception. Well, look at me. Putting restrictions around ourselves we are binding ourselves and binding others too. I guess this is where letting go comes. If nothing else, it’ll make life easier.

    I read this cartoon strip (don’t remember the name) some days back and it made me smile. One kid was holding a coin and an older boy comes by. This kid shows the coin (he is happy) and says “look I’ve got a quarter”. The older kid says, “it’s just a nickel and not a quarter”, and he leaves. The small kid says to himself, “I was rich before he came”.

    That was so profound. 1. Happiness is in our perception of things and not things 2. The more we depend on others’ opinion for our happiness, the doomed we become. 3. It doesn’t matter what others’ think of us, it’s just what we think of ourselves that matters.

    And no matter who or what you criticize, you end up stressed out. Things are perfect as they are. I don’t get tired of quoting my sir again and again, “if you don’t like something, just go away. Don’t criticize”. The question is whether you want to accept or criticize. Embrace happiness or get embarrassed. And just this one more mullah story to leave you smiling:


    Awful Song

    A guest at a concert turned to Mulla Nasrudin sitting next to him and criticised the voice of the woman who was singing.
    "What a terrible voice," he said. "Do you know who she is?" "Yes," said the Mulla. "She's my wife."
    "Oh," said the embarrassed guest, "I beg your pardon. Of course, it is not her voice that is bad, it is that awful song she has to sing. I wonder who wrote it." "I did," said Nasrudin


    When you criticize anything, you will end up embarrassed….
     
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  2. mssunitha2001

    mssunitha2001 IL Hall of Fame

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    Thought provoking blog bhagyachinu.....Good one !!!!!!!
     
  3. mssunitha2001

    mssunitha2001 IL Hall of Fame

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    Events happening now and many other things which are not in our control does create stress in all of us here....

    I do get stressed up when kids get up late and then rush to school without having breakfast (they have to leave home at
    6.35 am sharp). Until i pack their unfinished breakfast so that they can have it in on their way to school i just get stressed up. As you said they are not machines to get up and get ready to school as early as that...but what to do...we have to be behind them for them to have their breakfast.

    During my school days we had a very relaxed morning time as we need to reach school only at 9 am and school was just 10 minutes by walk from home.

    Now it is so different....kids too are as stressed as we are.

    [​IMG]
     
  4. Malar2301

    Malar2301 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Bhagya,

    Excellently written. I see myself there.

    "That was so profound. 1. Happiness is in our perception of things and not things 2. The more we depend on others’ opinion for our happiness, the doomed we become. 3. It doesn’t matter what others’ think of us, it’s just what we think of ourselves that matters. "

    Very true!! I liked the way you have written. Thanks for sharing!!
     
  5. AkilaMani

    AkilaMani Local Champion Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Bagya,

    What a piece of writing dear!!

    I loved these words "if you don’t like something, just go away. Don’t criticize"

    akila
     
  6. bhagyachinu

    bhagyachinu Gold IL'ite

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    thank you sunitha, malar and akila.
     
  7. SARASVADIVU

    SARASVADIVU Silver IL'ite

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    Hello bhagya,

    A great piece of philosophy put in a nut-shell:bowdown

    Loving it every bit ..especially just noted these words of wisdom in my diary:

    >1. Happiness is in our perception of things and not things 2. The more we depend on others’ opinion for our happiness, the doomed we become. 3. It doesn’t matter what others’ think of us, it’s just what we think of ourselves that matters.

    Keep your visions coming!!

    :cheers
    Saras


     
  8. indumami

    indumami New IL'ite

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    Dear Bhagya,

    Excellent one....I totally agree with you that if you critize someone or something,you should be ready to embrace the embarrassment.
     
  9. omsrisai

    omsrisai IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Bhagya,

    Nice blog..thought provoking...

    Uma
     

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