embracing stress

To what shall I compare this life of ours?
Even before I can say
it is like a lightning flash or a dewdrop
it is no more.
- Sengai

Yes, life is like that. Yet, what all we do to make ourselves and others uncomfortable while we are here. Can’t we be a little more magnanimous. Well, I am talking to myself. When I imagine what all I do from morning to evening to make people uncomfortable – that too my family whom I profess to love very much! My most horrible face is reserved for them. What did they do to deserve that?

Think about this. I wake up in the morning and go to the kitchen. My husband comes and switches on the TV. I get irritated – see I’m standing in the kitchen and he is not even allowing me some peace and quiet. So I go and demand (Yes, demand) him that he switches off the TV. Then my son wakes up – I want him to go straight and brush his teeth, drink his milk, have bath, eat breakfast… wait – what is he? A machine? Him being a kid he has his own agenda. Then I start shouting at him – because he’s delaying me for work. And this goes on till I go to sleep. The only thing I contribute is towards increasing the irritation level of this world.

The funniest thing is most of stress is because of trivial things which doesn’t even deserve a second look. The problem is that I expect others to behave in a way that is convenient to me. When we look at each and every instance which irritates, we will find that it is because we chose to be irritable at that time. There is no question of others being fair or unfair (I know many won’t agree). Everybody will behave in a way that will make them comfortable. You have no role in that.

Like in this mullah story:
"May the Will of God be done," a pious man was saying about something or the other. "It always is, in any case," said Mulla Nasrudin.
"How can you prove that, Mulla?" asked the man. "Quite simply. If it wasn't always being done, then surely at some time or another my will would be done, wouldn't it?"

Since we are all Gods, it’s sure god’s will that is being done – individual gods making individual decisions.

What am I going to lose if I allow my husband to watch TV? Is my son not doing the same thing which I was doing when I was his age? I have done worse things if you ask me – the kids these days are to be pitied because their areas of mischief is limited. His activities are limited to the four walls of our house whereas I used to roam around the whole village, the neighbouring villages and beyond – no one even knew where I was and who I was with.

I guess it’s all a question of our perception. Well, look at me. Putting restrictions around ourselves we are binding ourselves and binding others too. I guess this is where letting go comes. If nothing else, it’ll make life easier.

I read this cartoon strip (don’t remember the name) some days back and it made me smile. One kid was holding a coin and an older boy comes by. This kid shows the coin (he is happy) and says “look I’ve got a quarter”. The older kid says, “it’s just a nickel and not a quarter”, and he leaves. The small kid says to himself, “I was rich before he came”.

That was so profound. 1. Happiness is in our perception of things and not things 2. The more we depend on others’ opinion for our happiness, the doomed we become. 3. It doesn’t matter what others’ think of us, it’s just what we think of ourselves that matters.

And no matter who or what you criticize, you end up stressed out. Things are perfect as they are. I don’t get tired of quoting my sir again and again, “if you don’t like something, just go away. Don’t criticize”. The question is whether you want to accept or criticize. Embrace happiness or get embarrassed. And just this one more mullah story to leave you smiling:


Awful Song

A guest at a concert turned to Mulla Nasrudin sitting next to him and criticised the voice of the woman who was singing.
"What a terrible voice," he said. "Do you know who she is?" "Yes," said the Mulla. "She's my wife."
"Oh," said the embarrassed guest, "I beg your pardon. Of course, it is not her voice that is bad, it is that awful song she has to sing. I wonder who wrote it." "I did," said Nasrudin

When you criticize anything, you will end up embarrassed….

 

thank you sunitha, malar and akila.