Hi All, I am a new member to this forum and I must say I think it is so nice to be a part of this wonderful network where ladies share experiences and provide such valuable advices. I have read many posts and found some of the advices so useful. In many ways it is unfortunately consoling to know that there are so many ladies out there with you facing similar problems and that you are not alone. My problem is not unique in anyway but I have been trying to battle it for a long time. I am 29 years old, been married for about 6 years now and have a 8 month old baby(she is truly my sunshine!). I work full-time and currently have my in-laws helping out with the baby when I go to work. The initial few years of our marriage had it's share of ups and downs and a lot of teething problems and personality clashes. As any new bride, I also used to expect romance, caring and understanding in my partner. In general he is a good man, but is not at all emotionally tuned in to my needs. He is a very reserved, moody, old fashioned and short tempered person. He will be nice and affectionate when he is in a mood and when he has time away from his laptop, TV and work related issues. He has been pampered a lot by his parents especially his mom since he is the only son. My in-laws are very nice people and treat my like their own daughter and so over the years I have slowly learnt to not get so affected by the over pampering and spoiling that my MIL does to him. However, I am still stumped on how to deal with his temper. He is a very short tempered person and very egoistic too. Will never accept his mistakes and thinks he is never wrong. I have changed so much from the way I was just to be able to complement him by being calm and non-confrontational (it was not easy changing myself this much). Whenever we have a misunderstanding, he will get angry, scream a few words and walk-off and not talk to me at all after that. After some time when I go to him calmly to explain the rationale behind my action or talks, he will get even more infuriated that I am trying to justify things although trust me it is not even my fault. Most of the times, I will just end up telling sorry, pleading, and accepting that I was at fault even when I am not just to calm down the situation. but in spite of it he gets angry, screams, says extremely unpleasant things and asks me to stay away from him. Unfortunately, I can't be like that - I used to go to him after a few hours and try again to calm him down but he used to get even more angry. The more I go and plead, the more I go to make things better, the angrier he would get. Unfortunately, my nature is such that I don't like unpleasantness, and negative energy around me so much, so I always try to get things back on track even if that means accepting and saying sorry for no fault of mine and not being able to even communicate or talk about the misunderstanding. My husband is capable of ignoring and not talking to me for weeks and months at times (he's done that a lot and it really were the worst times in my life). At such times, he only thinks about himself and not about how he has hurt me by his reactions and words. When he does in fact calm down, he thinks he has down me a big favor by "forgiving" me "again". I have tried everything under the books 1) Have left him to himself and seen if he calms down on his own. Takes several weeks and sometimes months. It gets very difficult for me live in the same house this way. Most of these situations and arguments are not even worth his behaving like this as if his universe has come crashing down. 2) After he is cool, gone and talked to him about what I think and how we should learn to communicate better. Gets even more angry and doesn't want to listen. 3) Will not listen and show interest when I talk about us or how we should deal with this basic communication problem and will get angry if I push this conversation. 4) He has said to me multiple times that if I have anything to talk to him, it should not involve anything personal. How can I not be personal if I want to talk to him abut his behaviour (even in the sweetest of voices and tone). 5) In-laws know his temper but are also scared in dealing with him. They used to be involved before to help us out but I don't want them to be involved anymore since it will only be a temporary fix and I don't want them to be involved in all these issues between me and my husband anymore. A smiliar argument happened this Sunday and since then he is behaving the same way with me by not talking and ignoring me. Slowly I am trying to not give so much importance to his attitude and trying to keep my mind away by being with friends, at work and ofcourse spending time with my daughter and in-laws at home but this basic lack of communication bothers me. Otherwise he is a very family-oriented loving person and I have thought of separation at times but after a lot of careful thought, decided that that would definitely not be in our best interests. Do other people have similiar issues and how have you guys tackled it? I can deal with short temper and then cooling down fast but this extremely looooooooong cooling down period of my husband has me immensely frustrated! I have read many posts regarding how to tackle arguments with your spouse and also the wonderful responses (especially by Soaring Spirit and Ria). SS I think you are a fantastic go-to person and with your detailed and empathatic replies, I'm sure you have helped so many people.