Eclipsed Loonies

The biggest tragedy in the world is labour is not valued. People who slave physically sweating like mad aren’t rewarded. Some guys get the best deal and others get eclipsed.And believe me this has been happening since mythological times.


Takr the tale of churning of the ocean of milk by the gods and asuras ( There’s enough milk in there to cause lactose allergy to entire humanity). The two sides agreed that they would share the fruits of the labour equally. The main purpose of the churning (Didn’t thy get a rope? They used a snake instead. That is serious cruelty to a reptile) was to bring out Amrit, the nectar of immortality.


When the nectar came out what happened? Vishnu took the form of a PYT and in the fashion of the best Bollywood movies og sixties and seventies conned the asuras thre way Bollywood heroines made asses of villains and their henchmen with an item number , almost invariably voiced by Asha Bhonsle.


Well, there was no Asha Bhonsle back then. So Vishnu multitasked enrapturing asuras with an item number while simultaneously distributing the Amrit to the gods.


But all Asuras were not that dumb you see. There were two smart guys who saw what was happening , disguised themselves as gods and sat in their line , beating Vishnu in his own game. Managed to get the Amrit and swallowed it.



Before it crossed their throats to reach the alimentary canals, they were exposed by alert sun and moon gods and Vishnu promptly beheaded them. But they did not kick the buckets and had become immortal thanks to the nectar. One had a snake’s body attached to him and the other snake’s head (I am surprised that our bhakts haven’t claimed this as the first instance of plastic surgery, You see Vedic Indians had invented everything, aeroplane, nuke missiles, plastic surgery, locomotives movies, TV and what not).


But these two chaps never forgave the sun and the moon and whenever r they get a chance they try to make a meal of them, but are forced to regurgitate them. That is the sole scientific explanation for solar and lunatic oops sorry lunar eclipses. If you have any other theories forget them, They have been floated by enemies of Hinduism, those with a Pakistani mindset, ISI agents terrorists and what not.


Today it is the moon’s turn to be on Rahu-Ketu’s dining table. And thge moon will glow red after being regurgitated. Naturally don’t you turn red when you are angry? How long can one suffer this exercise?


.In my childhood I have seen dried Darpa grass knotted around door handles clearly warning Rahu and Ketu that they aren’t welcome into our homes.


But the worst part of the eclipse ritual was you were not allowed to eat or drink , no not even water, even if you are starving to death or your throat is parched and crying for some moisture. My grandma used to tell me that since messers Rah and ketu couldn’t digest sun and moon during eclipse, we wouldn’t be able to digest our food either. When I pointed out that eclipses occur when sun earth and moon come in a straight line and either sun or moon aren’t visible due to a play of shadows, grandma used to grunt that schools were teaching wrong things.

My mom tried to inject a bit of pseudoscience into the whole affair bt saying thar when sun, earth and moon come in a line certain rays emanate that spoil your digestion .Too bad mu mom was not given the Nobel for Physics, astrophysics that is or medicine for this observations on our alimentary canals.


The Beauty of the Rahu Ketu story is it has spawned an entire industry. Priests charged a King’s Ransom . as did the guys seeking alms. A particularly villainous looking chap who resembled a bandit from all those Bollywood Chambal valley movies used to land up at my doorstep,(He also used to comre every Saturday to keep lLrd Shani at bay) His well groomed handlebar moustache always intimidated mom to be pretty charitable with cash and grains.


And let us not forget eclipse tourism. Thousands of people rush to pilgrimage centres to offer oblations to extremely polluted and holy rivers. These towns gain by this tourism and the babas abd babies (female babas) there become richer thanks to the gullible oops sorry devout.



When things stand that way what is scientific evidence but a conspiracy against a major sector of economy?

 

You aren't pointing a finger at me, are you?