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Dusky and Lovely!!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by MrsBV, Nov 8, 2014.

  1. MrsBV

    MrsBV Gold IL'ite

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    Today I am committing blasphemy by using Dusky "and" Lovely in the same breath. For a country known for "brown people" the stereotype of wanting a fair, beautiful, slim bride continues. In fact we continue to hear phrases like - "she is dusky but pretty"' "if only she was fairer". Why the but, why not an and? Why is it not ok for a woman to be dusky and lovely?

    As Anil Kapoor's character said in Lajja - "ladka bhale hi kaale bhains jaisa ho, ladki usse gori chitti hi chahiye" (so what if the guy is as dark as a bullock, he continues to want a fair girl as a bride). Is color so important that it holds more importance than the values and character of a person? Does being dusky mean that the woman is not pretty and should also consider herself to be ugly?

    When I look at today's actresses like Priyanka Chopra, Deepika Padukone, promoting fairness brands I feel ashamed that these women who are role models for young impressionable minds are fine with people thinking that being dark is not ok? How ironical it is that these women themselves are dusky? In most of their films these actresses are shown as fair skinned. Surprisingly, these women seem to be not even comfortable in their own skin. They too have bowed down to social pressures and are promoting ads and products which belittle women's work efficiency and link their success directly to their skin color. It makes you also think that if these women cannot take a stand then how can ordinary women make a difference?

    However, one among these actresses, Kangana has been strong enough to take a stand and refused to endorse a fairness brand. She believes that if she takes up such ads what kind of an example does she set for younger people? Her sister is dusky and if she would have taken up this ad, she would be insulting her. Here an actress has stood up and showed that she is a responsible individual and will never take decisions which go against her value system.

    Kudos to Kangana! At last we have a role model talking about what millions of ordinary women want to hear. But can one woman make much of a difference? She definitely makes us proud and take notice however will her statement lead to a much needed change?

    The problem is that we cannot turn our backs from the harsh realities of life - this societal need for fair women is not going away anytime soon. Most people have been brought up to judge on the basis of color, and many women's self esteem get affected by watching fairness ads on TV which continue to promote "fair" and "lovely".

    The society continues to lack sensitivity towards this seemingly trivial issue. In fact, most people don't even think this to be an issue and this topic is only talked in a hushed manner in closed circles. Very few are surprised to hear if they are turned down for marriage because of their color. Why, because the majority have already been brought up thinking that their color may go against them in marriage proposals?

    How sad and depressing to live in a world where being dark is your fault, where your self esteem has taken such a beating that you cant even meet your own eyes while looking in the mirror because you consider yourself to be bad looking?

    I continue to have so many unanswered questions - what and how can this thinking change? The more dreaded thought that I have is - will this thinking change? Will I ever see a time when actresses will say no to lighter foundations (there have been a few like Smita Patil, Shabana Azmi etc.) and stand up for all womankind?

    I feel so passionately about this topic that at this moment, my only dream is to live long enough to see a time when each and every woman, who is dark, will happily shout from mountain tops - "I am dusky and lovely and I don't care what the world thinks". But then a small, scared voice says - Will I?
     
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  2. madhuprabha

    madhuprabha Gold IL'ite

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    Hello Mrs B.V.
    A very nice and realistic discussion u hav started.
    I am also a dusky 'beauty'.
    But for so many years i hav been after this becoming fair obsession. I hav tried various products, bleach , facial etc etc.
    But now i hav realized tat i am brown skinned and not fair skinned.
    AND i am beautiful. I don't hav to b fair to b beautiful.
    So now-a-days i am trying for a healthy me and not a fair me.
     
  3. madhuprabha

    madhuprabha Gold IL'ite

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    Hello Mrs B.V.
    A very nice and realistic discussion u hav started.
    I am also a dusky 'beauty'.
    But for so many years i hav been after this becoming fair obsession. I hav tried various products, bleach , facial etc etc.
    But now i hav realized tat i am brown skinned and not fair skinned.
    AND i am beautiful. I don't hav to b fair to b beautiful.
    So now-a-days i am trying for a healthy me and not a fair me.
     

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