Dunno how to compromise my ego???!!!

I am not sure what they want you to talk to FIL. When my FIL was here, i hardly talked to him and he hardly talked to me, unless he needed some help. My talk was only while serving food, to ask if he needed something.

Anyway, you don't need to say sorry to FIL. Anyway, talk in front of your H only. Don't talk alone. This way your H will get first hand experience.

Feel bad about your husband cancelling the tickets. So immature of him. I think you should still go. Managing the travel with the kid is easier than dealing with sulking ILs. Plan to go for less number of days. But do go.

Good luck.

 

you have so difficult family dear.

If you dont want to say sorry , don't do that. But if you think one sorry will bring peace in your life and family , there is no harm.But even after that,if they treat you like that, then please go to your parents place alone with your baby. how far are your parents ? is it really that hard to travel alone with baby ? ask someone from your parents house to come and pick you. do whatever but definitely go.its very immature of your hubby to cancel ticket , he must be threatening you thinking poor you cant travel alone with baby ,he must be taking advantage of your situation and weakness.

If your hubby talks to you on phone while you are there , then come back to home for fuction on time. If not , stay at your parents place only. Dont worry about fuction at ur hubb'y house, they havent been treating you well , stay away from them for sometimes. In any fuction at your hubb's house , if reatives neighbour dont see your presense, your ILS and your hubby is the one to answer.They need to feel guilty for how they treated you.

 

Don't say sorry....but start talking to ur fil....as akansha said that talk to him in presence of ur hubby...so that ur fil is also forced to talk to u....if ur fil doesn't reply u then keep talking to him till he reply back or ur hubby takes notice of it...
May be u can goto ur parents place after the function....

 

Dear op,

as per the time being go and talk to your fil, yes they all will blame you don't say sorry, if they ask u to say sorry ask them for what u need to ask sorry, you want the exact reason be firm on it. if they blame you for past things say that things are finished long back you don't want to discuss it.

They want you to bow down by hook or crook. your cosis is adjusting with them, so they want you also be like her, nothing wrong in that. introspect your innerside if there is no wrong on your side don't bow down. wait till the function gets over, then go to your parents house. before going talk with your hus clearly what you need from this marriage.

your hus need some shock treatment give him some time to change but keep reminding him he is not only the son for his parents, but he is your dh and father to his child. all the best op.

 

Don't say sorry.
When your husband is within hearing range,go to fil and ask him if he needs tea coffee as you are making some.Do only formal talks.

Agree with other posters. Go after the function and go for a longer duration . (as punishment for their obnoxious behavior.)
Try to learn to book tickets on line and also,if the journey is not long, prepare well and go with kid.

Just for information,under the law,people ganging up and not talking to the dil constitutes 'abuse .

 

I would not stay in a house where people treating me like that. Talk with your H, tell him that things have to change.

 

If you are clear to yourself that it wasn't your fault, do not apologize however they pressure you. Its not about just this sorry. If you let them now they would walk all over you from now on and make you apologize for smallest things they don't like. Whether it was your mistake or theirs. Hold your ground and show them you won't let go off your self esteem.
To clear the drama happening right now:
They are being very clever you try to talk to FIL i'm guessing DH wasn't around. He giving you cold treatment. MIL taking DH aside and manipulating and then DH taking it out on you. End the cycle. Preferably casually when everyone is around most important you, FIL and DH. Tell FIL you have no idea why he stopped talking to you. He never said anything. Even when you tried to talk to him. Ask him you remember right? So and so day so and so time. Give as many details as you can. He would have to accept. If he doesn't it would be clear to everyone that he is lying through his teeth. Whether they all accept it or not, they would stop bothering you at least. Don't let them jump in and create drama to diffuse your plan. Start with "There's been so much tension lately and its affecting all of us. So lets clear it up and go back to being a happy family"
They would have no choice but to listen to you because you are not fighting you are trying to end the fight.
At the end tell them whatever has happened I would love to talk to everybody like before (I know inside you would never go back to the way it was. But don't show it to them) Say "Lets put it all behind and make up"
Once you are done with that, go to your mom's just as planned. Handling the kid alone is much less trouble than this tension you are living in right now. It'll be a nice change for you. Get the space to clear your mind of all the negativity and get back your happiness.
But before declaring be diplomatic. Tell them you have told everyone at mom's that you are coming. Cancelling at last minute will only create troubles with everyone asking for reasons. It'll be tough to explain and you wouldn't want to tell your family about the tensions happening. So it would be better if you went as planned. And stress that you are coming back well in time for the function at home.

Take care, be happy, just look at your baby and smile.

 

Say to ur hubby that I never stopped talking to fil it is he who doesn't reply back...so u will not say sorry but yes for his sake And peace sake u will talk to fil....also say that if his family is angry because u book the ticket for ur parents place that for his n his family happiness u will go to ur parents place after the function...
When ur hubby complains to u regarding his family...always show him that u r ready to compromise for him n his family sake...n compromise a little not too much....never forget to bring the compromise in notice of ur hubby....

 

I totally agree with meVadhei, good advice. I would say somehow create a comprimise without saying sorry, even approach your DH and say I want to talk to FIL he does not want to talk to me let't sort it out, at most I would say sorry for the "things you may think I have said and done" but you don't have to if you are not comfortable. Right now you need to get to your parents place and take your DH along to help with the child. Tell your IL you want to wipe the slate clean and start afresh, keep in your mind what they did to you, and always hold them at bay. Seems like they are all ganging up on you and that's not fair. Your DH will see you are trying and so he may soften up. This all you do if you want to continue to stay there. If I were you I would leave and leave for some time as they don't treat you properly and probably won't? But if you want to continue to live there, for your own mental sanity some solution or compromise has to be achieved.