Once, when I was a kid, I contracted jaundice. My mother firmly believed yhat jaundice cannot be cured by medicines but needed a touch of magic. So she took me to an old lady who specialized in such miracle cures. The lady put a needle in a copper cup filled with water, uttered some mumbo jumbo with her eyes closed. Then she took out the needle and showed the water to us. ‘’See how yellow it is’ she said ‘’ that shows that the boy has severely been affected by jaundice’’. She prescribed, a salt-free diet, curd and fruits ‘’ Above all, keep him away from school ‘’ she said as my mind did a joyful jig. I was healed in a couple of weeks and my mother attributed it to the shaman lady but I am inclined to think it is due to the diet. A decade or so ago Delhi city buses used to have notices pasted inside them of a baba who promised to cure people of cancer and AIDS with the help of goddess Kali. Too bad that the World Health Organization and Indian government didn’t utilize his services. In this age of coronavirus , there is a spurt of miracle cures. In Iran, one of thr worst hit countries, where five per cent of its parliament is reportedly infected with the virus, people are licking the doors of a dargah and a grave there Evamgelical pastors in US see the virus as ‘’God’s angel of death’’ sent to punish those who refuse to accept the True Path. No point in telling them that Christian Italy has the highest number of corona virus infections in Europe. They will probably say Italians being Catholics aren’t true Christians. One wise pastor has advised all Chinese to become Christians to escape the wrathful angel of God. That is all rubbish of course, only we Indians have the right medicine to wipe out the virus, what else but the outpourings from the bladder and bowels of our dear mother cow. The Hondu Mahasabha has recommended cowdung and urine to fight the virus. THIS has been endorsed by a BJP leader from Assam. THEY ALL DESERVE THIS YEAR’S NOBEL FOR MEDIINE. Now I see a pot of gold at the end of the coronavirus rainbow for Mera Bharat Mahaan. I eye a massuve surge in our foreign exchange reserves through export of gomutra and cowdung to China and other badly hit countries. But there is a catch here at least for a ’’ glass is half empty type like me. For what is the guarantee that the stuff getting exported is the real McCoy. Its origin could well be buffalo bladders. I haven’t closely examing the outpourings from buffalos and cows but I suppose they look like identical twins. Our dear land has conmen and crooked entrepreneurs aplenty and they could pass off the wrong bovine urine and dung as ‘’Made by gomata’’. But this has a bright side too. THE GOVERNMENT WILL HAVE TO SET UP LABS TO TEST THE STUFF AND DECLARE IT TO BE EXPORT WORTHY. So a large number of people will get jobs in these labs. They also stand to make fat amounts on the side by Certifying them not so real McCoy as export worthy. Who knows soon the world might talk about dung dollars and pee dollars like petrodollars.