1. Want to be a Positive Parent? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

DS does not like parties, crowds etc

Discussion in 'Toddlers' started by NewWoman, Dec 16, 2009.

  1. NewWoman

    NewWoman Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    101
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear ladies,
    My DS is a 15 month old sweet, playful boy. He acutely dislikes parties and other social events. DH and I do not got to too many parties and we mostly socialise with parents with children of the same age. Ever since he turned 1 year old DS dislikes going into crowded rooms or meeting new people. Sometimes he even cries when we meet people that we see regularly. Most of the time DH and I take turns holding him and comforting him. He also dislikes doctors visits coz he does not like his ears or nose being touched, also dislikes being in stores. He is fine when we are outside in the street or park. He loves to run around and play with other kids. He is friendly and does smile and wave to strangers. I have been trying to take him out more often and meet with people on a one on one basis as opposed to a room full of people. There are a couple of my friends kids that he likes and plays with them really well. No problems at all. I have noticed that he likes kids who play gently and are not in his face. He does not like screaming and aggressive play. DS is also scared of loud noises like blender, pressure cooker and gets startled easily. Now Iam wondering if this is a phase that he will get over or is my child shy( am using this word for lack of something better) Have any other parents been thro this. Any ideas, suggestions?
     
    Loading...

  2. NewWoman

    NewWoman Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    101
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Female
    Ladies,
    Any ideas please. Have a few christmas parties to attend next week. Am looking for strategies to minimize DS's discomfort.
     
  3. tikka

    tikka Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,902
    Likes Received:
    45
    Trophy Points:
    115
    Gender:
    Female
    Hey, I have a shyster here too. We dont do large parties, therefore, after his first bday.
    If there is one of DH's office party, we try to give DS his food before we leave (just snack at the party), tell him where he is going and what he can expect there (whether he understands or not, we just repeat it), let him pick a favourite toy. I have to say we have left quite a few parties before the crowd came after telling the host DS is getting tired. So we do not spend more than an hour anywhere. One hour is the longest DS can go without a meltdown in a crowded place. I also try to ensure there will be someone whom DS knows and likes a lot, apart from us. Socialising has been touch and go a lot of times. It is only now he is making more friends (amongst adults, he still does not play with children his age.) Good luck with the festival season.
     
  4. NewWoman

    NewWoman Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    101
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Female
    Tikka,
    Thanks for the prompt reply. We avoid large parties too. A lot of the Indian parties here start in the evening and end pretty late. We are usually the first ones to arrive and the first ones to leave. My LO has an early bedtime and he gets cranky around that time. I too feed him before we leave. At parties, I usually request people to leave him alone and that he will join in when he is comfortable. A couple of well meaning aquaintances commented that Iam coddling my son by giving in and I should get him used to loud sounds, crowds etc. I know that my son is genuinely scared and do not want to push him too much. Am taking things one day at a time. Lets see how the holidays go.
     
  5. tikka

    tikka Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,902
    Likes Received:
    45
    Trophy Points:
    115
    Gender:
    Female
    Is a sitter an option? I would blame the flu season, leave the child home and have a couple of hours to ourself. But then the sitter has to be totally trust worthy! Hope other mommies with better ideas will chime in.
     
  6. deba19

    deba19 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi there...I can understand ur situation well, as I have been facing the same too. Then again we had friends/people who would comment about our child's shyness and that would make me feel very sad at times(mom's heart u know). But I have noticed one thing.. the more we dread going to such parties or feel apprehensive about the meltdowns, the more the kid picks up on our feelings and be scared of social gatherings. So these days I try to relax myself and be hopeful that we will have a good time at the party and somehow it seems to help. So maybe u could try it out too...& above all kids change so fast..grow so fast...and of course always turn out smarter than us..what say?
     

Share This Page