I had to go for a party in my community and the hostess is in Instagram and she makes reels.We were made to do some poses and dances and later on she shared on insta.I was very uncomfortable doing all that and the movements plus I was faking laughters as though I was enjoying it and the party also went on for hours ..the moment I got back home..I ran to my bed and let out a sigh! Two days later the pics were shared and some on insta.The other ladies were excited and they now want to meet up often.. I started to panic.I did not enjoy this party at all and the vibe was very different.I am usually polite to them and all seemed good until it looked different and felt different in person.Even the topics of conversations in that party was very ….dont know the right word to explain.. Yea I do want friends maybe but I usually prefer one or two who also respects boundaries and just relaxed..casual catch up etc.. I am not sure if I want to be a part of the group and do all these insta reels..I used to enjoy and even envy women who do all these things as it looked good in social media but I really didn’t enjoy a bit..I don’t know if this is a normal feeling.. since am a part of this community ..how do I refuse? My gal is friends with their gals..They are planning a meet up again next week and I dread it.. already some Neighbors feel and even one took offense that I don’t mingle a lot..I wish people accept and understand introverts or maybe people have their own personal issues:. Do u guys enjoy doing these reels and being in a party for hours together..this one for me went on from 3 pm until 1 am..
Your don't have to throw the baby with the bath water. This social setup is important for your kid to see how you get along with others and to create her own social network. You might also find like minded people in the group whom you will grow close to. Draw healthy boundaries, you are an early riser and hence prefer to go home at 9 pm instead of 1 am. They will grow into it You can fake it until you make it.
I mean for the kids I will definetly go..but hanging around in a large ladies group and doing these reels..am unsure and creates some uneasiness.. I am also ready for family gatherings and meeting on occasions and kids birthdays etc..
No it started as families and later on went late as we were all in the same community and ladies grouped up together
welcome same blood . things we need to deal for kids. no answer. i deal such for 1 yr when we were new to the community and son was in grade 4 and had tough time making new friends. now he has his gang. i go when i want to go. Lost some friends and make some new .
Do u enjoy these? In sense all these making reels and random conversations? I mean am All for friendships but I get drained when it is out of force..nothing wrong with those women they r nice but it does seem to tough to make friendships the organic and easy way “not through kids or for kids” I have a friend and when am with her..I can be myself..we don’t even talk much when we are in the same room during staycations and watch our own phones but it just “feels right “ I like relationships which are organic, some vibe and the strong pull to be around them without trying hard and just relaxed.. Sorry to digress in my own thread being in a faraway land and a strong ambivert is already tough and especially trying to find our tribe organically is even more hard lol
This approach has worked for me. After the pandemic, I needed to make new connections and some light friendships that provide company, conversations, and leave me feeling good in a social or community sense. I started meeting and joining biggish groups, there's no way to avoid the insta crazy women in the groups. : ) But like mentioned above, we always find like-minded people in the group. We naturally started to also meet in smaller groups. It's not easy. There was and still is some faking. There are times I come close to saying oh sorry something came up. I somehow stuck it out. The key has been to be methodical, have low expectations, avoid gossip, avoid drama, know my place in the group. It is definitely not organic. It is very inorganic, it is as pleasurable as having a baby through IVF. : ) : ) Not fun, but the end results more than worth it. If I want to have more friends, the accompany minor irritations are part of the package deal. "When you choose the benefits of an action, you also choose the drawbacks." ~ from the internet.
If it impacts you so much, causes so much stress, then, simply decline the invite. Not going is better than going and it becoming obvious how you feel about them and their insta etc. We can be polite, but our expressions announce our feelings like subtitles.
