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Dowry Harassment

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Dreams, Mar 7, 2008.

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  1. Dreams

    Dreams Junior IL'ite

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    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Dallas, Texas – It is very unfortunate to see a young Telugu woman end her life in a horrific way in Woodbridge City in New Jersey State. Here is the full story.[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Subhashini Narne, 25, native of Alankurapadu, Prakasam District, AP, married Sreekanth Rama, 30 yrs, native of Tanguturu, Prakasam Dist., a software professional, just a year ago and came to USA with full of dreams. After some time she felt that something was missing in her life. Recently, Subhashini called her sister and father expressed her displeasure of her marital life and complained about the continuous demands and harassment of her husband for more dowry. Subhashini's father consoled her and reiterated that he would distribute whatever he has to all three of his daughters equally. [/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Prasad Thotakura, TANA Secretary, in a press statement said "I got a phone call from Subhashini's family from India on Wednesday requesting help to get more details of her death and make arrangements to send the body to India. I spoke with Dr. Zhang Arex, Medical Examiner, who is handling the case and couldn't believe what I heard. It is very sad to know her horrific death. Subhashini swallowed several US coins weighing more than 1 pound, stabbed herself several times very deep on her left and right wrists, left chest and near abdominal area. She was brought to Raritan Bay Hospital in Woodbridge city, New Jersey around 9:30 PM on Tuesday; doctors tried their best to stop her flow of bleeding but couldn't and declared her dead around 3:00 AM on Wednesday morning". [/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Even though Dr. Zhang declared her death as a suicide, the cause of her death is very deep rooted. It takes at least two to three months to get full detailed autopsy report. I'm working with Woodbridge City police department to investigate this case thoroughly and get to the root cause of her death. We are making arrangements to move her body to a nearby funeral home, obtain all needed documents to send her body to India as soon as possible". Prasad Thotakura, Indian American Community Leader, said[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Prasad Thotakura said "It is very unfortunate to see number of these kinds of deaths in USA. I urge all parents to have a thorough background check of people before they get into alliances. It is very important to give priority for the character and family values rather than material possessions and professions". [/FONT]
     
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  2. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Its a horrifying and a sad story. I just hope the wrong doers get punished so that this is not repeated again. What dowry ,being Software engineers arent they capable enuf to take care of wives. Which rule in the book says you can demand dowry becoz u are educated to such and such a level.
    If we can do something about it we should try to do it.
     
  3. roopadadia

    roopadadia Silver IL'ite

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    I wish Subhashini's parents should have acted in a more responsible manner rather than giving in to the whims and fancies of the SIL

    Also, Subhashini should have been more pro active and files a complain or yaken help of any such organisation there which helps such victims.

    Time and again i would like to say that self help is the best help.

    Roopa.
     
  4. hydgrr

    hydgrr Bronze IL'ite

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    Oh my god...its is so sad to read this article and i wish tht her husband shd be put behind bars forever.
    No one should be spared in this case. Even guys parents should be behind bars.
     
  5. Ria2006

    Ria2006 Silver IL'ite

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    May peace be there for deceased and mourners. When the milk is spilt, no point analysing what went wrong. Whats done is done. We all as a society are culrpits of her.

    We live in a society where we teach our girls, "Being married is more important than being alive". We teach them, you are our dearest creation but we are deeply ashamed of ourselves that we could not bear a male child instead of you. We will go to any length to secure a wealthy and greedy vulture for you , so that you lie dead one day on his expensive golden bed. Atleast you will have solace that you died on something gold. Once you complain and cry for help , we will give our helpless fears of society and family relations. So that you are pushed back to same golden bed until you decide to free your own soul.

    We all fail our deceased dowry ridden daughters everyday. Because we all are weak people inside. We could not accept the fact in first place that it s female kid. Whatever persued from there is chain reaction of guilt, fear and wretchedness. Two weak parents can never raise one strong kid. So weakness keep breeding weakness. And very soon we have a weak society who doesnot budge when someone is molested in front of them. A society , who doesnot blink an eye in buying a rich groom and making sure their guilt is well placed in golden cage.

    By our weakness we even disgrace the mighty female spirit. A spirit which can raise societies and generations, we continue to sully it in name of domesticity and homeliness. A home is where your soul feels belonged and connected. Not a place where you are pushed to walls and poured with oil. We all should be sorry that we dont enable our daughters enough for failures. Failure is as probable as success in any transaction of life. But we all flinch from preparing for it. We all want a happy home ending to our dear ones. But no matter how careful you tread , how much you educate, strength of will in face of adversity needs to be explicitly inculcated since the time of birth. But for some reason, we want to run away from grassroot reality that any planned move may not go as per desired.

    Sorry for my dear friend, we have lost many like you. And we still are coming of age. We are still somehow convincing ourselves that for whatever reasons things dont work. Its the lady who should compromise. Compromise wiht dreams , hopes and lastly with blood.

    I mourn here in your death, because it reminds of my two best known friends whom I lost to this monster called dowry. Pain is not that I lost you, pain is that we havent done anything about it.

    Ria
     
  6. JayaJ

    JayaJ Senior IL'ite

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    very sad and unfortunate. I just wish subhashini has the courage to fight back instead to ending her life and they way her life has ended must have taken a lot of courage.

    Wish she had showed this kind of courage in surviving.

    But well said Ria and i agree with you wholeheartedly. You have put down in words what we all women must be feeling.
     
  7. Shrutiv05

    Shrutiv05 New IL'ite

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    Such incidents are really really shattering for everyone.

    We women have to be strong. Times have changed and today we have so much support everywhere in order to fight back in this man's world.

    I am a lawyer and I have seen husbands and his parents crying in police stations and courts once the wife lodges a dowry harassment complaint against them.

    Most husbands behave as lions and ill-treat their wives at home, but they do not know what can happen to them if the wife decides to go to police.

    Earlier I used to think that the police does not listen to anybody so easily but in the last few years, I realized that thanks to the women commission and other women organization, even the police is scared of losing their job. Hence, filing a dowry harassment complaint against the husband has become really easy.

    Also there are crime against women cell and all women police stations now to help prevent atrocities on women.

    I can understand if uneducated poor women from the villages of India are not aware of the laws enacted to protect them, but at least every educated girl should be made aware of what her rights are.

    Recently, I came across a survey where 84% Indian women said 'it is OK if my husband beats me'. What non-sense is this. Physical abuse is one of the most brutal form of abuse.

    We should all educate ourselves and learn to lead a life with dignity.
     
  8. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi
    My God what a horrifying and sad story.
    Now a days women is so well educated but still fall as a prey to such people.
    What will happen to the parents................
    Hope that guy is given good punishment............
     
  9. Priya_Mommy

    Priya_Mommy Gold IL'ite

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    Its a clear dowry harrassement. Somany ladies like subhashini are killing themselves. Instead of that if she raises her voice over this, things would have worked different.
    So, attention all parents, Before your daughter gets married pls do a thorough enquiry about the groom.
    Dont get fascinated by US pls.
    After all its your lovely daughter who ends her life if things are against to her.
     
  10. FragnantJasmine

    FragnantJasmine New IL'ite

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    Its very sad to read such cases.But every day newspaper carries atleast one of them.Recently the visual media also reported so many cases of dowry deaths.Incidentally all these cases the parents are very well aware of what their daughter is goin through but not willing to help her ,fearing society or liability and ultimately crying foul when the damge is already done.I feel such parents also need to be punished as part of abetting the suicide for knowinlgly pushing their daughters in to such a quagmire.


    As for the dowry,the dowry law is such an old one,but I am not sure whther its even implemented properly.As for Andhra the trend is to pay huge n huge dowry to anyone who is working in US ,may be he is even in to scavenger job,but that does not matter.

    I dont understand whats so special about it.I have known our family friend who sent their son to US for higher studies not becoz he was interested but only then he could fetch a huge dowry.Parents trying to get the best grooms should also stop shelling out money for that purpose.Each lady should wow not to maary giving Dowry and not to promote accepting of dowry in any way.

    My parents ,brother and me we have all vowed ,tht we will never give or get dowry.I am sure there are many like us out there,but we just cant survive with many we need "ALL".


    To implement this we need awareness ,we need educated individuals who can stand on thier own feet without depending on others.We need all to be educated to empower themselves and to live independently.This can be acheived in the log run.I see so many women who quit jobs once they get married,only to realize later about the blunder they have done.All women who are confident of leading their lives independently atleast should not give in to this dowry devil.

    sarve jana sukhino bhavanthu
     
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