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Down memory lane(inspired by Sunkan!)

Discussion in 'Cheeniya's Senile Ramblings' started by Cheeniya, Apr 27, 2007.

  1. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    During my school days I used to live in a private residential colony in Triplicane. Triplicane, for the uninitiated, is the oldest part of Chennai, then called Madras and a breeding ground of scholars who could rip even guys like Churchill for their bad English! The colony where I lived had ten houses each separated from the other by a thin, audibly transparent wall! They were situated in a square pattern with an open space in the centre in such a way that each family had an uninterrupted view of every other family. Barring an occasional show of temper particularly during the time when the highly rationed corporation water flowed through the brass tap for a limited time, the level of bonhomie was so high among the families that no privacy was ever considered necessary.
    Many members of the younger generation often ask me how we ever spent our time without TV and radio in those days. I always tell them that we never felt the need for any external entertainment as most of it was usually provided live by the families that lived around us. Rich classical music was provided by ladies in loud and clear voice aimed more at warding off any accidental intruders while they were taking bath in the doorless bathrooms. There were this Mani and Poorani expressing their great love for each other through soul-stirring Antakshari sitting on either side of the wall that separated their families. Those songs used to be the chart-busters of those days.
    There was endless drama in every family which was distinctly more gripping than any soap that we see on the idiot box these days. Limited over cricket had already come to stay as an enduring sport in our days well before the gritty Australian Kerry Packer started experimenting with a limited version of cricket. In fact, the tennis ball cricket that we played generated so much tension and excitement that the heated arguments amongst us invariably spilled over to the heads of our families. In retrospect, I think that most of the family feuds that raged among us had their roots in our limited over matches. I even remember that there was a ban on a member of a particular family participating in our matches due to some such hostility
    .
    I learned several home truths during those golden days. The first was that a better half was not necessarily the better half. This revelation came to me from observing a particular family in which the lady was a devil in disguise while her husband was a mild-mannered gentleman. This was the only family that had a hand-winding gramophone that we all wanted to handle very badly. The man would permit us to change the needle and wind the spring and gently place the decoder on the grooves of the record. All this he would permit only whenever his wife was away. In her presence, he used to throw at us such a pathetic glance that our hearts melted for him. The unanimous view was that he was the better half.

    The second was that a breadwinner was not necessarily entitled to his share of the bread as it was a matter that lay under the sole discretion of the lady of the family in most cases. Such breadwinners, however, had certain privileges on the salary day every month that included more than their due share of the bread. It was from these hapless middle-class husbands of dominating women that I learned my first lesson in leadership viz. a leader had more responsibilities than privileges and his responsibilities were always in multiples of privileges and not factors thereof. If you have a flair for mathematics, you would know what I mean!
     
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  2. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sri,

    Yet another very enjoyable piece from you !

    Rest assured, I am a mathematics student as well.

    Sri, the man has to consolidate himself as the better-half, by his actions, thoughts and words. Very often we, the women, are made to wonder whether the term was misspelt from time immemorial for “bitter half” !

    I do agree in our ( your & mine, not the present day) times, the men were just bread winners. Period. The home-maker was always the woman.
    You earn your place, not by just earning the bread, but by your actions. If ever a woman dominates, the family moves ahead in every sphere ( including the husband) – You cannot deny it. Unless a man is blessed in life, he will not get a woman with leadership qualities as his wife. Manaivi amaivathellam iraivan kodutha varam.
    The reverse is rarely true, because we know to accept whatever has been given to us & make the best out of what God has blessed us with. That is our varam, Sri.

    You may, excel in national & international politices ,but cannot match our acumen for domestic politics without your getting any news about internal politics.

    If I go on & on, I might draw a comment from you about “poor Vish” – I know it is best to stop now !

    Love,
    Chithra.
     
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  3. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Chithra
    I agree with you that henpecked husbands are fast becoming an endangered species. In my dad's days, Vikatan used to be full of jokes about them though I could neither understand nor appreciate them the reason being that my mum is a very timid woman. But in all other houses, it was the case.

    As Time flew by and women becoming more and more independent, men started losing their 'terror' image! If they bare their fangs, the wives take them to the nearest dentist to have them removed! Ten years hence, they may even dispense with the dentists' services!

    But a situation will arise when women dont have to depend on their hubbies for anything, men might start becoming henpecked all over again! And that's the irony! While women dont need the support of their hubbies, the husband becoming henpecked is understandable, why did they have to be so in the past when they were the only bread winners and their women solely depended on them?
    But me not henpecked at all!:mrgreen:
    Sri
     
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2007
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  4. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sri,
    Have you ever wondered why there is no term cock-pecked corresponding to hen-pecked ?

    You have raised a valid question
    why did they have to be so in the past when they were the only bread winners and their women solely depended on them?
    Well, the frank answer is,
    The woman has the powerful "asthram" in her hand !! Please understand - if I elaborate, I will be thrown out of I L !
    But me not cock-pecked at all !:mrgreen: :mrgreen:
    Love,
    Chithra.
     
  5. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Chithra
    I do not think that being henpecked has anything to do with any astrams or sastrams! That's being unfair to both!
    I think a man becoming henpecked is due to a feeling of inferiority complex arising out of many possible factors like her status is far above his, she is more educated or a celebrity whatever!
    It may even be due to his upbringing!
    Sri
     
  6. radhavenkatesh

    radhavenkatesh Silver IL'ite

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    :)
    a live picture of of gud old days i think its almost same in middle class families with few changes the bath rooms have doors :)) even today the bread winner has to yearn for his small small wishes but today we dont find single bread winners today almost all are earning yet the inflation is so high tht they dream for goodies .eventually i find all sorts of luxuries in most of middle class houses i dont find a single house without colour tv (even b4 karunanidhi has promised)
    but still gone days are best days happy days they say and its truth also.
     
  7. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Radha
    That's why when we say 'old is gold', we mean the good old times. Not old men like me!
    Sri
     
  8. Abha

    Abha Bronze IL'ite

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    hey Cheeniya Sir

    A great piece again from you, this really reminded me of our old days, i know my old days wudnt be as old as urs, but still i have also grown up in a neighbourhood where the neighbours are like relatives, and nobody ever closes the doors and anybody keeps coming and going... in fact, plates and bowls filled with yummy stuff are exchanged and then you have 4 plates and bowls from a different house lying in your shelf and your plates and bowls wud be lying in somebody else's shelves...haha

    A good nieghbourhood according to me is very important, cos that actually shapes your life to a great extent... and also in emergencies its the neighbours who come first not the relatives... in fact we have developed some great relationships of our life with our neighbours... as it is said that ties of love are sometimes stronger than ties of blood...

    ~Abha
     
  9. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    "ties of love are sometimes stronger than ties of blood..."

    How very true, Abha! That was a beautiful summing up.
    That is the real gift of being a middle class. In fact the favourite that I was in the entire neighbourhood, whenever I fell ill, the ladies would tend to me by turn! It was pure selfless affection. Whenever someone in the neighbourhood scolded me for some mischief, my parents would grin and enjoy it! All that experience has stood me in good stead all my life Abha.
    In retrospect, if God were to appear before me and asks me what I want, I would ask for my Triplicane days!
    sri
     
  10. Abha

    Abha Bronze IL'ite

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    very true SIR.

    if somebody asks me whats the best time of life... it wud be my childhood and growing up years in my colony... cos those were the years of innocence and everyone used to play together, it was never my house ur house... as everybody grew up they become smart and learn all the fomalities which ruins the whole closeness... also some ppl get engrossed with their lives, studies, jobs and marriages...

    life goes on, but memories stay with you...

    wat say ?
     

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