Hi all, Started this thread to share few things which I learnt the hard way. Neither our parents nor any school teaches us how we should deal/behave once we are married. Many who are newly married has totally wrong notion of many things and we do many things in the wrong way. I am married since 9 years to a man who is very controlling, has anger issues and lots of ego. So ladies in difficult marriages may help from few things. 1. Big mistake which many newly weds do is, listen to any crap which DH says, in the hope that it will increase his love. Big mistake. You are only raising his bar. He won't give you any certificate. On the contrary his expectations will increase. Say no firmly, but politely. 2. Never argue and shout when your DH shouts/ scolds without any valid reason. At that time, even if you are 100% correct, your shouting will go on deaf ears. It will escalates things further. I know this point is easier said than done, but practice makes everything possible. When things have normalised, do communicate orally/ whatsapp, where you feel he was wrong. If it's genuinely your fault, do say sorry. 3. Don't discuss everything with your hubby. Only things which are of his concern. 4. Never plead/beg for his time or attention. Never apologize if you are not wrong. 5. Don't ask for small things, e.g what has to be made for lunch/dinner etc. This will become life long habit. 6. Common mistakes which many make ( I too did this) is during a very bad fight, many women leave house. Don't do this. It's your house also. Put up a fight staying there. 7. Many men mistreat when they know there's no one to question. If you feel things are going out of control, give them a warning of you going to cops. Many men do have a fear of police. 8. Don't revolve your life around your DH. He is just one part. Have your own friends, hobbies etc. Don't force him to share your interests. 9. Last but not the least, not every marriage can be mended. If there's repetitive physical abuse, leave ASAP and do file a court case. Ladies request you also to share your input, in case I missed anything. It will be quite helpful to many women who are in difficult marriages.