Don't you ladies think all unmarried Indian girls should read these forums?

I agree with your views. We are in a strong belief that nothing bad will happen to us.

Our parents and we - are always teaching discipline and on how to behave to our children. But we are missing a great part that in case of any wrong happens - how to overcome that.

I also follow your opinion that 'To be married girls' should read this forum to know merits and demerits of marriage and the problems faced by seniors...


Andal

 

I agree, the spending lakhs for extravagent marriage doesn't guarentee a good marriage life. instead that money can be invested in their daughters name for her security.

But you can't just point your finger on men alone; there are various other points too plays the vital role. many places women are the cause of the women problem in the form of mother-in-law; sister-in-law etc.,
some places educated women are themself problematic for their life; with lots of ego and bossism etc.,

marriage life is made with 2 people; were both has to contribute their equal efforts to make the life hasslefree and healthy. it's not only that women should throw her job/ego/parents/happiness etc., both side should be balanced then only a marriage bright will be strong with long life.

 

I particualry liked this line in your post. I 100% agree with you on this. In fact I've experienced it myself. My parents never utterd those typical golden words ever - "We have to save for daughter's marriage". We are 3 sisters and our parents always made sure we get the best education and become financially, intellectually independant. Now that 2 of us are married, I'm sure this independance gives us an edge while handling our domestic troubles.

Vaidehi

 

I'm actually dual minded on this. Yes and No too.
Yes because - It'll give them some idea that the picture might not be so rosy as my dreams. There could be issues arising and i'll have to handle them. They would be more realistic in their expectations. The girls and parents may try to find out more about the boy and his family before taking the decision. They would probably give the girl and boy some time to understand each other. the girls may try to be financially stable and stay that way even after marriage other than giving all rights to husband. They may decide where to talk and where keep mouth shut and eyes and ears open.

Now this coin has other side too.
You read here or not, most of the times girls have a negative perception about in laws even before mariage. This comes from the hearsay experiences in surroundings. Reading this might add to that negativity. Girls might get scared about the beautiful relationship called marriage thinking it only gives pain which is not all true. The stereotyping of in laws as trouble maker villians might create distances between the relationships even before the begining and girls may never try to be friendly or close to ILs.

So in the end it depends on the person what to take away from other's experiences. Its not compulsory what happened to hundred will happen to the 101th. All people are different, would have different experiences and would react differently.

So in my opinion, they should read, if they are able to understand and learn and are positive.
Vaidehi

 

Yeah,true. we need to keep ourselves educated enough that we can earn tomoro. nothing wrong in spending in them arriage funtion,though. but,parents need to realise that the daughter's education is also imp.

and part of the problem is they are alone away from their family(especially those in US)
This is so true. i too had noticed that many problems in this section are from women in US. not to generalise though. May be others are not coming up to this forum.
The reason being US is too too far from india. can't even dream of vacations frequently. and worst thing is we can't work as soon as we reach U.S. takes a few years to get h1b or EAD etc. One more thing is atleast in india we have ppl to talk to around us like frens/colleagues/family etc. in U.S and some other countries we feel more lonely. and one more thing is parents /unmarried girls should know how life in U.S is for most women who come on h4 and not think that its a prestige issue to get the girl married off to someone in U.S. and then life is all cozy in U.S.

This is my opinion.

 

Very good thought deepshikha !!!
100% agree with every single word.

If unmarried girls read these forums, they would be able to make informed decisions on things like whether they want to look for a groom settled abroad or not.

Unlike the unrealistic ,fairytale marriages we see in Indian movies, reading these forums gives everyone a glimpse of what to expect in real life.

But on a lighter note - a well educated, independant and single girl reading these forums will get a taste of all the abuse ( physical, mental, financial and emotional) that some married women have to put up with.
This may make her think hard if it is worth taking the risk and getting married at all !!!:thumbsup

 

Hi deepshikha,

Here you all are discussing about spinsters peeping into this forum..

Being a spinster I would like to comment here..

Yes,its a must to peep into this forum that Life is a bed of roses but it has got many thorns and many womens are hurted by this...How they handle it?whats others advice??

Tomorrow anything may happen according to Gods will..If its bad you will know that this is the thorn and many are hurt like this you need to handle it tactfully..

if its good then just Thank God and pray for the hurted ones..

Regarding Job its a must they should save some money from now for their future and get into job anyhow after marriage..To be independent financially & mentally.

And I dont think that todays spinsters are bothered about IL's before marriage..Acc to me I have never peeped into IL sections..

It all begins after marriage...

I have learnt a lot of life lessons and analysed many hidden truth behind the relationship after joining this forum...All that I have learnt about life is anything may happen life has to go..

Beleive in God and yourself dont beleive anyone else...

Actually I feel that all the problem arises due to expectations they expect and also build sand castles about life to great heights.When the castle tumbles down the problem arises...They might have been from a happy family they expect the same to be at their DH's place but when it turns upside down its a nightmare..

SO this section is a must where people from different countries share different kind of problems and solutions...

 

I agree 100%. Personally, I feel I would have benefitted a lot if I had read these forums when I got married... would have not only prepared me for what was in store, but also given me much more brains and a cool mind to think and act. I have often felt that Indian girls to get married should have some sort of course, with an intro to Indusladies as a main topic!
Sandhya

 

It will help unmarried Indian men too :crazy