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Don't Trust Cheeniya

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by ojaantrik, Apr 8, 2010.

  1. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kamla and Mindi:

    Well, I could have addressed you in the reverse order, i.e. as Mindi and Kamla. However, after taxing my wayward brain about the rightness or wrongness of name sequencing, I decided that it is best that I leave the matter to lexicography. Of course, I am aware that this does not solve my problem altogether. However objective a lexicon might appear to the unsuspecting, the fact remains that I know the names by which you are known outside cyber space. And that knowledge suggests that the apparent objectivity of the alphabetical order I employed is hopelessly adulterated with subjective errors.

    Be that as it may, the reason I feel troubled about the order in which I call out to the two of you is that I love both of you equally. Indeed, enormously. Now, don't blush please. My love for you is held adequately in check by an armour of paternal wisdom. So, lovely though both of you are, you needn't be unnecessarily bothered about my dirty old intentions.

    Indeed, there is good reason in support of the writing of this epistle, which I am composing entirely for your welfare. Without dillydallying further, let me go straight to the point now. I have an advice for you. Don't trust Cheeniya!! He has a trick or two up his sleeve. And I'll tell you how I found out.

    It was through pure coincidence that I landed on an fb that Cheeniya wrote for Mindi. Innocuously enough, it suggested that the fb-trail Mindi's Fourth Encounter thread has generated reminds him of Hanumanji's infinitely elastic tail. I saw it and soon forgot all about it, as I tend to forget most of the things I happen to cast my eyes upon. (No, no, Madhubala's face does not belong to my list of forgettables. I am man enough even at 108. That's funny you know! My roll number at the Presidency College register was 108. I was around 18 then. The insertion of a zero between the 1 and the 8 was God's wicked signal that I should keep myself mentally prepared for a shock awaiting me in the not too distant future!! Shock indeed. Look what has happened to me. I need to strike a daddy posture to impress women.)

    Sorry dears. I was about to forget again what I desired to achieve. And the desire in question relates to instilling fear in your hearts about Cheeniya's questionable intentions when he writes fb's for you. Especially so when they end with the 'big laugh' emoticon. I went back and watched that green thing guffawing itself to death at the end of the contentious fb. It is telling Mindi to read between the lines, I told myself. And then I recalled more. (OK, I have changed my mind. I am not 108. May be 107, which is far, far younger than 108, as any mathematician worth his or her salt will tell you. I mean, I seem to remember much too much to be diagnosed as a P guy you know.)

    What I recalled in this case was the somewhat objectionable manner in which I had trespassed Mindi's thread, to write to Kamla. I wrote a garrulously long piece in fact and ended it with a photograph of a family member of Hanumanji himself. As I admitted there, memories of interesting faces (such as Sharmila Tagore's) drag my attention to other interesting faces too. In this particular case, it was the face of a monkey enjoying an ice cream bar. (By the way, this part is not meant for Ms. Tagore's consumption. I described her beauty in my fb to Mindi. That's the one she should read, but will not I guess.)

    Now, Cheeniya's comment, the one in which he claims he had forgotten if he had already commented, appears after my message to Kamla. So, in all probability, he had noticed the photograph I had uploaded. More than Hanumanji's fondness for ice creams in sultry Kolkata, it could well have reminded Cheeniya about his tail (not Cheeniya's tail, it is Hanumanji we are speaking of now, in case you are labouring under doubts). And then he looked at Mindi's blazing fb-trail. From trail to tail is short work needless to say. All it calls for is the removal of an 'r'. That green animation has publicly declared that Cheeniya was thinking not of Mindi's fb-trail, but of her fb-tail. But the green stuff suggests to me though that along with the 'r', he had also removed the 'fb'. In other words, he was suggesting that Mindi had a tail that made Hanumanji turn green with jealousy! Now, I am not sure if he had the same message for Kamla too, but having been exposed to the satisfied animal's photograph attached to my harangue addressed entirely to her, he could have entertained unholy tail thoughts about Kamla too.

    Elementary, my dear Watson. Use your women's intuition and you'll catch Cheeniya red handed, even if he is hiding behind his green mask.

    DON'T TRUST CHEENIYA. He could make us all go into a tailspinning trip.

    Love again. Paternally speaking, sob, sob, ...

    oj-da
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 9, 2010
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  2. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Don't Trust Cheeniya and Other Stories

    Dear OJ,

    I read this wonderful piece, and somehow came to the conclusion that u are copying Kamalji Ishtye of blogging.My blog has no head or tail , i start with a wedding i attneded, and end at a funeral, not connected to the wedding.

    Same thing i see here. A tonsured head, and the tail of the elephant.:rotflAnd starting from sadhu's to sadhvis, to the stationary guy and what not.A laught riot as only u can write.

    Marvellous is not the right word, maybe something more than that.i can stop laughiong.HAHAHAHAHAHA

    Forget about the elephant sitting on yr car, just suppose he was to ****, do u know the wight of that **** ? it can break the windscreen , but since it is a maruti 800, it will cost u less than a thousnd to repair, but what about a skoda oen ?

    A naked man on the elephant, wish u had clicked his picture, it would have been a classic.:biglaugh

    Andlet us see what Cheeniya has to say, two heavywieghts pitted agtainst each other , i will love the war of words here, of coruse the lovey war of words, not the angry one.

    i was fortunate to stay with Cheeniaya for two days in Coimbatore, and it was heaven wish u were there, i would have sat at the feet of the two great men i admire the most, and learned so much .

    Superb one OJ, the original hilarious OJ, keep them coming.

    Regards

    kamal
     
  3. Tubelight

    Tubelight Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: Don't Trust Cheeniya and Other Stories

    Hi Oj-Da
    Since the missive is addressed to Kamla and Mindi , i will quietly sneak off from here without a comment , hoping it will establish that I am respectable enough not to read other's correspondence.

    However I take the grave caution spelled out in Bold as a General Advisory and wish to thank you for the thoughtful tip off .

    I will wait for the other stories.



    -------------------------

    Hi Kamalji:
    What was THAT ? Elephants, sadhvis, tonsured heads ?:confused2:
     
  4. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

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    @ Kamal

    You are right. I adopted the Kamal-ji style for this post. Everyone needs to be guided. In my case, you were the guide. So, I spoke about everything under the sun, quite unrelated to each other. Had gone gaga needless to say.

    Later on though, I thought over the matter and worried that I might be identified as a plagiarist. So, I deleted the other story part. Will put that up as a separate post.

    But I do think that the other stories stuff could be more interesting. Post scripts often overshadow the scripts themselves. Right?

    oj
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 9, 2010
  5. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dea rOJ,

    You are at ry best here in this blog, funny, really funny.You have a way with words.

    And these are light blogs, fun to read, and laugh too.Keep posting more of these kinds, u are very observant, as am i, and we see so many things as we move about, they are small but nice subjects to blog on.

    So carry on, kamalji Style or not, and regale us please.i loved this one and give it 10 on 10

    Regards

    kamal
     
  6. kelly1966

    kelly1966 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear OJ Kaku...
    Feel like I've stumbled into a private conversation.. so apologies for eavesdropping:bowdown.. but couldn't resist reading and commenting as you seem to value your worth on IL on the nos of FB you get...
    Your post here is AKA Kamalji style.. as he rightfully said ... But most entertaining:rotfl:rotfl
    You have as usual left me speechless ...
    K
    Rushing to read cheeniya's fb to mindi which is the inspiration behind this post
     
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2010
  7. knot2share

    knot2share Gold IL'ite

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    Dear 107 year old OJ da!

    Everything you write is in style and so is this humour filled note addressed to Mindi and Kamla. I can see green monsters everywhere now. When I read Sri uncles fb to Mindi's recent post, I was like......wow! And then what I see next? Don't Trust Cheeniya from you............The verbal
    exchanges here are just too good to read.
     
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2010
  8. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear oj da, (or do I start calling you Oj pa now :rotfl)

    One really can't predict your mood. When I asked you to cheer up in your thread yesterday I had no idea you would turn SO gregarious. So, today I find you in a naughty mood? Well, any mood is better than being down in the dumps, any day.:thumbsup

    Thank you , your cautionary advice noted and taken in the spirit that it was intended.:)

    I am a very simple person, oj da. I never read between the lines, or look out for ulterior motives or hidden innuendoes in any statements. Give me a compliment, and I take it happily. If anyone doesn’t like me; well it is their problem. My implicit trust in my fellow human beings in my forty plus years of existence has only given me the BEST of friends Am I not lucky?

    Hence I shall take Cheeniya sirs statement at its face value..,that I had no reason to grumble about lack of fbs for that particular thread.

    And Oh yes..the affection you have so openly declared is HEARTILY and FULLY reciprocated.:cheers. I wish you LOADS of happiness ALWAYS.:)

    dear TL,

    Dont you KNOW our Oj da by now? Say,we log in 10 hours after he has posted .We are THEN probably reading the tenth edited version of the original post.Am I right,oj da?:hide:
     
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2010
  9. natpudan

    natpudan Gold IL'ite

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    Oj - Da,

    That was really funny statisticians view point.

    Research, Analyse & Act or aid to take Action.

    Your Trail to Tail is a Trailer full of fun and I am sure it's just the Trailer of a Full Movie and the Main picture is coming soon at the theatres near us.

    Awaiting the block buster with anticipation. :)
     
  10. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    My dear OJ
    Merely because God has blessed you with a highly hyperactive brain that is capable of troubling itself at the drop of a hat (literally and figuratively), do you have to trouble it for the sequencing of names of a couple of dear friends? And the two friends whose names have become the subject matter of some intense brooding presently are both known to be charming personalities who have no inhibition about where their names are placed in any hierarchy unlike some politicians. At least in this one case, you could have spared your head from worrying itself sick! If I were you, I would have addressed them jointly as ‘Kamindila’ or something like that!
    Coming to the equitable distribution of your love for both of them, I have a lurking suspicion that what you try to palm off as an armour is just a thin veneer of paternal wisdom!

    Don’t trust Cheeniya sounds like a slogan. Experience tells me that the subject matter of such slogans invariably gets enhanced in popularity many times over! Hope it happens in my case too. It’ll be like a shot in the arm for my sagging image in this community as being too ‘condescendingly paternal!’

    Madhubala!!! Now you are talking sense! That’s the face that eminently deserves to be sung the eternal love song of Nat King Cole:
    Unforgettable, that's what you are
    Unforgettable though near or far
    Like a song of love that clings to me
    How the thought of you does things to me
    Never before has someone been more
    Unforgettable in every way
    And forever more, that's how you'll stay
    That's why, darling, it's incredible
    That someone so unforgettable
    Thinks that I am unforgettable too!

    God makes some who can be as wise as a 108 year old even at 18 and some others vice versa! That’s probably the reason for our binding relationship, I being an instance of vice versa! That thing about ‘striking a daddy posture to impress women’ is a very impressive one! Incidentally, have you seen my new signature line in IL that I changed a couple of weeks back? You have a face that will easily defy age and I don’t foresee any reason to nurse any unnecessary fears there! There will be no encore of Dorian Gray!

    Nothing can inflate a man’s ego as much as seeing a simple FB of his being treated as an eminent English Professor would treat a terse soliloquy of the Bard. I feel highly flattered! Your well-intentioned caution to Mindi will hopefully have its effect as I get worried sometimes about the childlike innocence of ILites like Mindi. Now I can feel relaxed with the arrival of a teacher like you!

    I never knew that a mask even if it is a green one could transform someone more than it transformed Jim Carrey every time he wore it! The amazing train of thoughts that it produced in you is to say the least, well, amazing. I am indeed speechless! From henceforth, every time I see a tail, I will remember how a mere addition of a ‘r’ can make it drab and unromantic like the other three ‘R’s!

    Don’t trust Cheeniye but keep writing such jolly stuff. God created you exclusively to make us smile. So don’t ever put on your ‘cry baby’ mask again! If you do, I may have to write a ‘Don’t trust Ojaantrik’!
    Sri
     

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