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Dont know where to post this problem

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Sujimallige, Oct 17, 2007.

  1. Sujimallige

    Sujimallige Bronze IL'ite

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    Hello friends,I am a new member here.
    I am married for 2 years and am in US with my husband.
    My problem concerns my health.I have observed that since marriage there has been drastic deterioration in my health.My weight has reduced v much ( i weigh 86 lbs now).I have got lots of lines on my face.1 more thing I have observed is that I have become a crybaby.Before marriage I used to never cry be in any difficult situations but now even if rice dosent cook properly I cry.
    I have had my share of problems after marriage.( in-laws,SIL,husband's affair before marriage) everything.But now my husband is v loyal to me & is v loving to me.
    I dont know what to do.I dont understand what is killing me within.I want to conceive but my weight is so low.
    Please help me friends.How do I improve my health,put on some weight.
    I always feel what happened to my life,my friend who saw me recently couldnt believe that this is the same person she knew before marriage.I am worried what is going wrong.All medical reports r all normal.Am totally lost.:cry:
     
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  2. Aarushi

    Aarushi Platinum IL'ite

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    Please go for some counseling. Ask your doctor to refer a good counselor and go and make that appointment. I'm sure it'll help you.
     
  3. shalusaini

    shalusaini New IL'ite

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    hi
    i read about ur problem u r not the one going through problems in married life.everyone have problems with their pil & sil.why to care about them .u should try to make life easy 4 u &ur husband. husband'saffair before marriage should not affect u if now he care about u loves u. never show ur husband that u r insecure about his hfriendship with females.
    if ur husband loves u then there is no problem u should take care of ur self. take proper diet.have positive attitude 2wards life this will make ur life easy.
    if sometimes ur in-laws bother u &u want toanswer them , shout at them then do onething write all what u want to say on a paperclose the paper n relax. when u 'ill feel relaxed n light then tear that paper n throw it in dustbin.this way u will feel relaxed. remember one thing not to tell ur husband that u r writing about ur inlaws and keep that paper out of reach of ur husband.
    hope this will help u in some way.do reply.

    take care.
    bye:wave
     
  4. latamurali

    latamurali Gold IL'ite

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    HAI SUJI

    Welcome to IL

    Dont worry yaar, increasing weight is not at all big problem, only to reduce weight u have to worry this much

    Iam the right person to give tips to Increase weight

    (IL ties ......pls dont think that iam following these tips and that the reason for my GUNDU...........)

    OK Yaar iam not kidding pls try to follow my tips

    Eat properly and have rich diet like Nuts, Sweets, Ghee, Full Cream Milk/curd
    Ice Creams,Cakes,Food rich in Carbohydrate and anything and everything UNLIMITED

    Take Iron rich diets like Dates,Jaggery,Nuts,all vegetables,fruits...........

    ENJOY..........

    But dear friend, NOTHING CAN BRING U PEACE BUT YOURSELF

    Try to keep ur mind free and happy, dont cry for everything, u say ur husband loves u very much now and u have no problem with health also .then Y?????!!!!!!

    Eat Properly,sleep properly,ENJOY EACH AND EVERY SECOND OF LIFE,listen to music,do yoga and MEDITATION

    PRAY GOD TRUST HIM GOD IS GREAT he will solve all ur problems

    I will also pray for ur health and peace

    Wishing U HAPPINESS ALWAYS

    latamurali
     
  5. Nivedi

    Nivedi New IL'ite

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    Hi Suji,

    If possible go for a general checkup. Lack of nutrients and imbalance in hormones can also make you feel depressed and low.

    Good luck, dear!
     
  6. SupriyaDinesh

    SupriyaDinesh Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Suji,
    We daughters r pampered and cared by our parents.Our moms ask us to eat properly,prepare our fav dishes and serve us.Once we get married we spend time in looking after others(hubby,in-laws).No one serves our fav food as our mothers do.we tend to eat what is cooked(like or dislike).The truth is when we start to cook interest in eating decreases.Bring u r mother to u r place.Enjoy u r day with her.Be happy.Men cant figure out what is going in the wife's mind..explain to him.
     
  7. naazneen

    naazneen Junior IL'ite

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    hi there,
    you should go for a physical check up to your primary care Dr. Rapid weight loss is usually related to more than just depression. I would tell the Dr to check for thyroid levels. Thyroid glands is responsible for metablism in human beings,it is also the gland that triggers hormones for things like monthly menstrual cycles. If your thyroid is in imbalance, you will feel more anxious and depressed also. Please first make at appointment with your Dr. Then if the Dr says everything is okay, you can approach your depression from a cognitive standpoint. Take care you- also you live in Boston right- big city soo many good Indian food options. Eat Indian food out once everyweek. When I first came to the US, doing this really helped me, I got a break from cooking and everyweekend my husband and I enjoyed a ritual that we both loved- good Indian food! :)
    for the weekday meltdowns I got kurmura(rice puffs) and sev for instant bhels!- mumbai style!!
    ~ N
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2007
  8. balamotwani

    balamotwani Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Suji,

    Welcome to IL. After marriage generally ladies put on weight may be change in hormones, happiness, change in climate,food,country .....

    Depression is common after marriage and that too when u go abroad. There are also chances if you are regularly taking contraceptive pills. First time after 3 yrs of marriage i went for depression and doc did pregnancy test.It was positive. So everytime i become depressed, i worry Am i preg again? So i check that first. I had luv marriage against parents wishes, so i had some problems initially with relations, finance,... But even now i feel depressed sometimes i dont know why? But before marriage i was underweight and now i am obese. It is very difficult to reduce. So forget the past and now ur hubby loves you, so think of your future and be happy.

    Drastic weight reduce needs doctor attention, do complete check up diabetes, thyroid,....For many disease weight reduction is a sympton. If you feel that your mental depression is the reason than treat that first. Latha has already given so many food items for you to put on weight. Do you eat pizza, try it, quick to put on weight. Cheese, full cream milk products, pastry,pure ghee,nuts, butter, icecream, indian snacks, potato..... eat all this regularly, daily. Try to eat outside.Concentrate on rice and rice products.

    What is your height? No need to put on lot of weight to become pregnant. Just put according to your height.

    Keep your mind relaxed, do not think too much about your weight and dont feel worried for not conceiving. Happiness really helps in putting on weight.Time has to come for everything.Whatever is happening is happening for good.Whatever will happen also will happen for good.

    All the best.:thumbsup

    Bala
     
  9. priyauc

    priyauc Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi ,
    I guess you have gone to your husband leaving you r family behind in your native land. You have not yet adapted to the lifestyle properly, havent made many friends and dont have much recreation. If you are working, you are even more tired, coz you have to see to the house and work. I guess your problem is loneliness. it does take a while for us to get acclimatised to a new country. It is normal for you to be this way. Once or twice after you visit your parents you will be better and will be able to adapt easily. Take pleasure in your new life. Try and make friends. You are thinking too much and thats the cause of your rapid loss of wight and health. Enjoy your life and eat well. these first few years of your marriage are the best . Eat out once a week. eat what you like. you will be fine. Lonliness will not go by itself, you have to fight it away. do things you like doing. keep yourself happy. in a new climate your body too takes times to adjust so it is common to fall sick .dont worry . all will be ok.have been through somewhat of your situation, and am fine now.
     
  10. Nivedi

    Nivedi New IL'ite

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    Hey Suji,

    Be positive. This life is for enjoyment. No sorrow or misery is permanent. Everything changes. So never give up on hope.
     

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