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Does Your Mil Favour One Son And His Wife More Than The Other?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Patientone, Feb 24, 2021.

  1. candidheart

    candidheart Platinum IL'ite

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    my family situation Similar to @chanchitra.
    I can clearly see the partiality to first son. Once my lil son(7yrs back then) was also able to see the difference how she favored the elder one's son compared to him. This he felt when both the grandchildren were together, the pampering the other one got!. Don't think he will even remember it now as it only obvious/feel it when all are together. Luckily the times we all are together are very less and I talk only on occasions,so I can ignore this. My MIL is very clever, she will sugar coat while talking individually to the sons,and try to keep both in her love control! Same way with the brother, he constantly keeps his brother in check by guilt tripping him, that he is not calling often, or not visiting.
    I tried pointing it out in early years of marriage, but he is in denial...it's his mom and if he can turn a blind eye to the partiality so be it..Now I don't care.
     
    chanchitra likes this.
  2. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes... Experienced it both ways.

    My mom favours myself than my other siblings. In fact, she treated all of us the same when we were younger. But obviously a slight support & favour towards our brother. She had so much expectations on him back then.
    But after our marriages, she became more attached & comfortable with my family than with others. She is a widow now, and finds a companion in me. So she likes/favours me mostly.

    On the other hand, my MIL hated my H from his birth. Because MILs dad died after the birth of my H, and followed by that some bad things happened at her family, including FIL briefly had misunderstanding with MIL then.
    Perhaps, some astrologers told her it was her child's stars that brought all the bad lucks to the family.
    She was not that educated; hence believed those craps & hated my H.
    Slowly, their relationship turned sour with time as my H became a teen. So she naturally favoured her other obedient sons.

    Till now, she hates him & his family but acts before everyone as if she still genuinely loves him.

    It was cruel for a young child to be hated by a mom. My H still is in confusion whether it was his faults or mom's fault or circumstances that emotionally disconnected him from his mom. He years for her love. But she uses his weakness to control him & his family these days.

    So, to answer your question... Yes, parents favour some of their kids over others for various reasons
     
  3. preeti6years

    preeti6years Bronze IL'ite

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    Whoaaa.... I can write posts again and again on this thread and can make it as big as "It Happens only at Inlaws" thread here.
    In my case its a crystal clear/obvious thing that MIL loves her younger son more or rather favors him than my husband. So much that she takes on the same feelings even on her DILs. Meaning she favours favorite Kid's wife more than the other.
    I have observed this biased nature of MIL well before BIL got married.
    Not only in terms of favoring, MIL gives more weightage to BILs words than my husband and she expected everyone to follow the same. Any violations to BILs recommendations, there would be a cold war declared from BIL and MIL.
    Intially my husband was a blind follower of MIL and BIL. But then he saw how outwardly MIL was changing her versions during BILs marriage trying to impress BIL. She gave all the comfort to Cosis family during their family even though they did not oblige to any of her requests. But during my marriage literally she showed us hell even though everything was arranged as per her wish. Not that I am jealous. Its just that how conveniently she changed things just to be in their good books is what pained me so much.
    She imposed terrible restrictions on me. whereas Cosis was free to do anything. When asked she said I am intended to split the family.
    Now that they are away this favoritism has gone beyond limits. To the extent she smiles only at them and nobody else in the family.
    Even if some guests come home she is all praises to BIL and not even one word about my husband who is taking care of them by all means.
     

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