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Does Your Husband Take Your Side Or Your Mil (his Mother)?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Sweety2019, Jun 10, 2019.

  1. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Silver IL'ite

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    During any argument or act, where you know your MIL was not fair at the way she is treating you; and maybe your husband also knows it is not right(because he would not tolerate if I did the same).

    Does he ever defend you or does he only point out what you did was *wrong and asks you to behave right
    (whatever she does it doesn't matter only your mistakes get pointed out)??

    *wrong meaning I tend to react in the same way she does immediately nowadays (coz I'm tried of tolerating anymore and I feel I need to defend myself when no one does)
     
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  2. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    I feel he takes my MIL's side and she feels he takes my side. :sweatsmile::sweatsmile:
    Poor him . He says he doesn't take sides. :tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy:
    Expecting husbands to take our side is too much to ask for . Does not work always and ends up in argument/fight between the couple.
    Instead stand up for yourself - not by hurting anyone(MIL in this case) . But stand up for yourself. Something I have learnt slowly with experience and still continuing to learn .
     
    SinghManisha, dhivyacc, PLK and 2 others like this.
  3. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Silver IL'ite

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    I totally understand that, but there are times when I just need that someone..it feels too lonely when you have to always defend your ways..and it makes me a bad person..which I'm not!! I always try to accommodate people..but what got to me is the double faces and double standards..

    How do stand up for yourself?? Please guide.. any tips.. the only way I find right treat them like they treat me..or avoid any contact and ignore..which eventually frustrated me more..because it was all pent up..
     
  4. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    @Anusha2917 on the mountain, a guru !
    [​IMG]
    the lesson is to
    1. focus on self
    2. never talk referencing anyone else.
    3. if someone's talk bothered you, ignore that completely as if you are in severe need of hearing aids, or you don't understand their language and go on about your business.
    4. your life is you, your children, and your children's inventor. That is all there is to it.
     
  5. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you..
    For this I need to take a vacation..go to the himalayas become a sage and come back

    I will try my best to follow it...
     
  6. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    Not at all. Even the longest meditating sage on the highest hill uses an internet search engine these days.

    [​IMG]
     
    Sweety2019 likes this.
  7. Desiindian

    Desiindian Silver IL'ite

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    My husband never ever once defended me wrt in-laws. I had same expectations when I was newly married. He would always take their side even when they had made some open declarations. Over a period of time, I learned that I shouldn't bring my husband in-between me and in-laws fight. It only made the situation worse.
    Whether right or wrong I would deal with them. And I stopped listening to his explanation and made it clear that he didn't pitch in at right time, now it is his headache to solve.
     
  8. ImHuman

    ImHuman Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi all..

    I am sorry i am writing this post here where i am not sure i can write..

    i just wanted to know what it takes to be able to start a new discussion in married life forums?.. I dont find and Post new thread button.

    I asked this question to Indus Ladies help.. But to no avail.
    Can anyone help me ? What it takes to be able to write a new thread?
     
  9. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Silver IL'ite

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    How to start a new thread?
    ← Posts, Threads & Participation

    You would receive the option to start a new thread once you have participated in the community and contributed a minimum of 5 posts in existing threads.

    After you have made 5 posts, to start a new discussion, please go to the most appropriate forum. You can start navigating from the forum main page.

    Once you are in the correct forum, please click on the "Post New Thread" button on the top left to start a new discussion. Please note that you will be able to see the “New Thread” button only after you enter one of the sub-sections. In other words, you wouldn’t be able to see the “New Thread” button on the forum main page or on the individual threads.

    P.S - You must be logged in to start a new discussion.
     
    hermitcrab likes this.
  10. ImHuman

    ImHuman Bronze IL'ite

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    Thank you for the response Sweety2019.
    I made 6 posts in existing threads... yet i dont see post new thread button. Instead i see message "you have insufficient privileges to post here"...
    I am sure i checked sub section within main forum..Like Relation ships->Married life...( i checked here.)
     

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