1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Does Your Husband Help Carry Your Luggage?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by beautifullife30, May 9, 2022.

  1. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,037
    Likes Received:
    8,376
    Trophy Points:
    460
    Gender:
    Female
    In general, women are raised to be good daughters, good wives and good daughters-in-law.

    Men are raised to be good sons only; they are not taught to be good husbands or good sons-in-law.

    That's the root of our troubles.
    .
     
    SunPa, kavikuyil, drdiva and 2 others like this.
  2. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    9,536
    Likes Received:
    10,375
    Trophy Points:
    490
    Gender:
    Male
    But not trained to be a Hitler Woman yet the metamorphosis after she gets her som married!
     
  3. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    545
    Likes Received:
    663
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Not everything comes through training. Some of it is emulation and also attitude.
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  4. lakshmi888

    lakshmi888 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    144
    Likes Received:
    196
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Whoever is more muscular or on the heavier side should carry the luggage ..

    in general in my family and extended family since the men were more muscular plus taller and women petite plus delicate looking, by default men carried the luggage ..

    this story reminds me of the horrible ex from whom I took divorce, who despite being more than 6 ft tall muscular guy asked a small thin coolie on india trip after our marriage to carry heavy suitcase .. that day I saw his disgusting side as I was feeling sorry for the coolie but I have always been a petite fragile woman so I could not carry the heavy suitcase on railway platform ……n he was so miserly fighting to give even few rupees to the coolie when he was earning high six figure salary since more than 10 years in US n despite living in a multi million dollar house in US..


    So glad I divorced such a nasty man without taking even 1 dollar from such a nasty human being as I believe nasty peoples money brings bad energy with it... even in short lived marriage, I spent my money on me…

    now In my middle age, I have seen Karma acting , I am sure he will get karma for that coolie incident too
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  5. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    9,536
    Likes Received:
    10,375
    Trophy Points:
    490
    Gender:
    Male
    :hello:KARONG ONKHOLER KOME Was asked by a reporter whether he carry “brief “ for his
    SPOUSE - a Padma Bhushan, Padma Vibhushan, world champion, Olympian WRESTLER, mother of two - Indian Haryanawali - boxer Mary Kome, the proud husband said “ with pleasure I carry for her both in domestic and in world arena.
     
    kavikuyil and Itsmylife143 like this.
  6. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    1,146
    Likes Received:
    2,309
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    Sunpa, Its like you have been there beside me and in my mind to know what i am going through and how i feel. IT feels good when i know someone somewhere understands me because at times it comes too much. At times, when something crops up like this.

    I guess its because i dont have a closure on this. A good talk with my husband. But unfortunately he is nowhere near that stage where i can share what i feel and how i feel about certain things. So for now, this goes on the back burner with the flame switched off :)
     
    Thyagarajan and Rihana like this.
  7. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    1,146
    Likes Received:
    2,309
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    I never bring up the past Rihana, never. I still dont have closures on a lot of things but 1 thing i have learnt is to wait for the right time when i know he is in a position to understand. I dont see him in that position now or even in a foreseeable future so i let it go.

    This i do. I tell my kids how lazy dad is and how they shouldnt be like that and they should always always lend a helping hand to anyone who is working. They thankfully understand and listen. They know how i suffer with body pain at the end of the day so yes, my kids help me a lot infact :)

    haha...nice a perfect way to give it back. I dont know if i am ready to do this since i am a bit sensitive in this issue.

    Right now most of the times, i tend to give it back but for some, its just hard for me to confront him yet.
     
    Rihana likes this.
  8. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    1,146
    Likes Received:
    2,309
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks @DDream

    A very practical solution. Focusing on the outcome :) .Giving instructions where and when needed. Got it. Let me try this in the next trip we are to take.

    Haha....i get the equality part. It is so irking at times when he uses equality for inconsequential stuff like this.
     
    Rihana likes this.
  9. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    1,146
    Likes Received:
    2,309
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    I wish i were a computer so i just delete the bad ones. The most hurtful part is where he says he doesnt even remember these bad ones. Either is faking it or going by his reactions, he doesnt even remember them. I told him that the reason he doesnt remember these ones because it is I who faced the hurt. People who get hurt tend to remember better than the people who inflict them.

    Anyway, the hard and bad ones have made me who i am today.
     
    Rihana likes this.
  10. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    11,909
    Likes Received:
    28,927
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    "On the back burner with the flame switched off"

    I am going to use this quote. :grinning:

    And I going to remember it each time I move a hot vessel to the back burner on a real stove too. :laughing:
     
    beautifullife30 likes this.

Share This Page