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Does she has a reason to confront with her mother?

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by Renu1999, Aug 16, 2010.

  1. Renu1999

    Renu1999 Bronze IL'ite

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    This is all about friend of mine.
    she is my close friend since child hood. and she is also only daughter to her parents. She is not very good at academics ,very beautiful, very good nature girl, very quiet girl. she scored very less marks in 10 and 12 standard. Her parents are not very well off. somehow she went to college and when she was in final year of college her parents decided to look for alliance and so she got married when she was 19. and that guy is 29 when they got married. she has no idea about outside world. and family she got married was very big she was the eldest daughter in law. Her husband is very authoritative he never cares for her parents but always want her to take care of her mother,father,and be nice to all their family member and attend all their family festivals,wedding etc etc. he never likes when she open her mouth she was always expected to close her mouth and accept every thing the way it is. she got baby one year after marriage and they strictly told her they have to stay with inlaws after delivery as it is their first Grand child. each year his brother ,sister got married and all functions she attended. and she is instructed to stay in their place lot more than her mother place. Now her husband lost job and sitting home and again his nature has not change same authoritative everything has to come to his hand and she is not allowed to call her parents lot of time while their relative will come and stay and she has to take good care of them. so she went out and find a job and she is contributing it to her family . her daughter she says is not studying well even though with good tution and some external help. she cannot go to her parents home as they dont have good money to educate the kid or take care of her.
    Her mom is my friend she always call me and talk to me since I know her from child hood. her mom is saying these days she is calling them only once in a month and she never wants them to come to her house. whenever she talks to them in phone they said she is getting irritated with them. she are upset that maybe she is having some trouble with the family and so they want to go see her wheather they are treating her well or not.

    But she strictly said they dont have to come to her house . I called and asked why she is saying that to her aged parents. she says she is very upset with them because they make her marry at this young age and letting her stay at their inlaws place post delivery and not giving her enough educating to support herself completely during her young age. she says they are matured enough at that age but just because she scored less marks in 10 and 12 standard they maker her marry that guy? I wonder has she got a valid reason to confront her mother???
    now their parents need help from her but she is not willing to help. is it how to confront parents?? what do you guys think?
     
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  2. riya123

    riya123 Gold IL'ite

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    I think you should leave the matter to your friend and her parents rather than being judgemental on who is right or wrong.. I do see some point in your friend's stand.. It is not right on the parent's part to forcefully get their daughter married off at an young age.. Definetely marriage is not a solution to scoring less in academics.. Parents could have persuaded her daughter to study further and become independent instead of getting her married.. I hope every parent realizes that they need to focus on getting their daughters educated and help them become independent and then think of marriage.. Because being educated and independent can be immense help , should the woman be left to fend for herself in a turbulent marriage..
     
  3. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    am glad someone said this....Renu good/bad, right/wrong, we dont know unless we are in that situation. Doesnt matter if its your best friend or your own sibling. We do not know the entire details and you cannot understand the amount of pain someone has gone through...so let your friend deal with her parents in her way
     
  4. Renu1999

    Renu1999 Bronze IL'ite

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    You guys are correct . I should not break my head for everything. I was so upset for 2 days thinking about those people . when I called today they are like very normal and as if like nothing happened. it is b/w mother and daughter this is a lesson to me I should stop worrying about all the other problem.
     

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