Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Needtobestrong, Apr 18, 2021.
These are really interesting opinions, guys. I like reading stuff like this.
I think there is the notion/story of God clipping the wings of some Angel who had misbehaved (smoked in no smoking area kind of misdemeanor ?) and sent it down to be born on earth.
That is fine point. But then why in laws are just benefitted for the positive karmas out of deeds done only in previous year!
Notwithstanding above, this thought has just crossed my mind.
We eulogise the nation builders and freedom fighters and the inspiration drawn from them made their followers fight and sacrifice their lives. Even some committed criminal offences.
Individual karma aside, I have a strange feeling that leaders have contributed vicariously for the bad karma of followers. But then the world eulogise such leaders.
A busfull of devout devotees - all seemingly doing and thinking of all good only for all - on their return from temple atop a hill. The bus with entire pilgrims fell into a deep ravine. Bus and the passengers/ pilgrims all reported perished. Is it that all of them carrying huge negative karma to get punished in this tragic manner?
Kripa Nanda Warrior died not peacefully. He died in mid flight. Day in & day out for decades, He was chanting and Lord Karthikeyan aka Muruga was close to his heart.
Nature in the form valcano, cloud burst, tsunami, deluge swallows large mass of land with its people. Is it that land too sinned and acquired gargantuan negative karma?
Thanks and Regards.
But what would see in the world are many successful in top echelons are in exterior look like Harichandra & with ulterior motive a la chankya! They too beneficiaries of past karma +& karma -.
All of your posts are poignant but at the same time loaded with wisdom, sensibility, empathy and respect for people even when they don't treat you well..
First of all this shows how good you were raised by your parents...so be proud of yourself..I feel very sorry that your H and inlaws don't realize it...it's their bad karma...they will never experience the unadulterated love and happiness which a soul like you is capable of giving...
Don't overthink...we all face these type of maid issues. I too learned it in a hard way that how much ever caring and polite we be with maids and helpers, we are prone to get disappointed...this covid has affected everyone's lives in some way or the other...as usual women are most affected not only in India but throughout the world...
so don't attribute it to karma...hang in there..
Lives are getting lost just like that. The bodies of the deceased are lying for days in the crematorium waiting to get cremated..if karmic theory holds good why did an innocent 15 days old baby die of covid few days back? On the same note, why are young children affected with severe forms of cancer? One trip to adayar cancer Institute changed my whole perspective of life..those poor children did not even have cotton clothes to wear after radiation therapy, no good food, they were amputated, one kid as young as 7 was abandoned by her parents....It was heartwrenching...many many illustrations i can quote from different spheres of life.. what wrong karma did they all do?
Our life fits into chaos theory well rather than the karmic theory...the concept of karma might have been introduced just to invoke fear in the heart of human beings...now it's just to control tender and the soft hearted ones..
So live your life the way you want...don't try to please worthless people...do things that help you feel gratified...
one more thing I like to add..which I understood over the years..
All those people in your life who criticize you..
just ask yourself if they are perfect versions themselves.Why do we have to give authority or power to people who are far from perfect and normal human beings? why please people who are just not worth it? Experience of life is one thing but for many..maturity never arrives.
A truly matured and emotionally grounded individual will surely respect other people.They will think twice before hurting anyone.Your inlaws are surely irritating you and they know you are getting irritated.
One thing I can assure you that you are really awesome and it takes a lot of mental strength to be who you are.
Aggressive, angry people are not strong.Your only block is you DO have a conscience.You are a very strong individual.It will take one second for you to throw that and yell at your inlaws.trust me..they can do NOTHING! but you won't! you know why?you are a good person and your parents have brought you up well with a mental conditioning that you have to be polite and respect elders.Which is actually true but sometimes standing up for yourself is also fine.It is not that you can't stand up for yourself..but their emotional blackmail is making you feel guilty.I think standing up for yourself respectfully is fine or else..try to avoid small talk with them as much as you can.In your mind..start emotional detachment.It will help a lot.
and really wish all will be fine soon for you.
Personally I think karma is the happiness or sadness you get out of thinking/doing something.
It does not matter what people do.. if they do it without any negative thoughts, then the mind and body reacts to the positive state and yeilds good.
Its the state you are in rather than the deed in itself.
Sadness, anger, jealousy,fear, narcissism etc are nagative thoughts. Mind and body react to them with certain chemicals/harmones. I beleive this is the 'karma'.. which is reault of their own thoughts and actions.
This is why they say even if you do a good deed eg pooja with a impure mind, it wont yeild as the mind wasnt aligned.
I have never until now seen narcisssists suffer; they happily getting supply by hurting and using others and they seem to be just alright; high level jobs, good husbands etc. However, my elderly aunts and uncle say they do suffer because they might get what they want until a point but then because they care so less about others; they slowly lose them one by one ( not that they care).. but at the end, they will have none. They wonder why they are alone when everyone else has some sort of company. Apparently, their later years are lonely.
Well, now I have stopped caring thou, if they suffer or not. I have my own journey and theirs wont matter in mine.
So, I have made my own meaning of karma. Dont worry about if others karma is working or not . Each on their own and its very personal. It wont matter to your life, its a different account.
Your Karma is your account. Mind and body of yours is reacting to all negative/ positive thoughts of yours. It will cumilate what you end up ( emotionally and health wise and physique wise and where you stand ) in next 30yrs. Its spiritual biology.
Karma is a vast topic to understand, the more we read and try to understand, there is always some more to know about it....
If we need to explain karma to a child, then it would be... Do good to yourself and others, dont expect anything in return. Our five fingers are different and likewise people in the world come with different upbringing, ideas and situations....
Over the years, my own understanding of karma is that it is definitely there and it is like this, when you sow a mango seed, you wont get to eat the mango the same day, depending on how good/bad you took care of the seed, you will either get to eat it or not...
So what is in my control, to take care of the seed, what is not is the weather, the rainfall and unseen situations....
With every hardship, people who habe ignored, abused and hurt me, i have learnt and grown a lot....
Like the famous guru Thich Nhan says, see everyone in the world like your teacher, everyone has something to teach you...
Though they say that we are gifted with a freewill to perform our own actions with body, mind and intellect,some totally deny the concept and argue that our free will also is predetermined and comes under destiny.
The description of the scope of Law of Karma is reflected in Bhagavatgita.The actions that are performed without attachment with the requisite equanimity do not get carried into so called encryptions.A similar view is expressed in Buddhism too.
Intentions are essentially important in determining the moral quality of the action and the doer.Sometimes an action which is done with bad intention may result in bringing about good.Irrespective of the result the imprint of 'immoral' is passed on.
Similarly actions done with right intentions sometimes result in some harm to some one.
What essentially matters is the attitude and dispositions of the individual and not the actual act.This view cannot escape criticism.
It indirectly means that one could do the most undesirable act provided his intentions and dispositions are good.This creates a wedge between the Law of Karma and rules of Justice in the nation.
Many people don't believe in theory of Karma passed through different births though they agree that we reap what we sow.
There are people who have firm views that it is not the absolute requirement of the soul to repay the debts of previous janmas.They believe that the ideas of reward , punishment etc are human concepts unnecessarily imposed on cosmos .When some crisis arises and it is stated to be an impact of what one had done in previous birth,a feeling of guilt descends on man, and in the same way at the time of good events, a feeling of subtle expectation of 'reward' arises.This in turn takes us away from the present.
In reality our life revolves around three factors.
1.Deeds done by our own selves.
2.Influence of deeds done by third parties human or otherwise
3.Influence of destiny or luck.
We do not live entirely by Free Will nor we totally are influenced by Fate or Destiny.
Fate plays its own dice on the checker board of our existence, mostly as a balancing force.However with sustained effort we can wade through vagories of nature.By surrendering ourselves to God we build up strength to endure what cannot be cured and on total surrender ,there is no Free will and God's will is your desired option.
It is interesting to note that normally human being is the highest in respect of spiritual evolution since he has the capability of reasoning. But Ashoka is stated to have been born as a maggot for a few hrs before he attained salvation.This aspect is acceded to by many since as a human being we are subject to lust and other instincts thereby increasing the scope of karma, whereas the chances of committing sins by worms are almost nil.
Those people call themselves as having done only punyas can be expected to take birth as worms before they become one with God.
There are too many concepts and we can have our own.Better not to worry too much about types of Karma and their influence ,love yourself and all others without harming anyone. Let us relax.
Very well said. This is a never ending search for most of us. The question as to why seemingly very good people can be seen to be suffering a lot, and several others are just pure lucky to have a very good life inspite of all negative characteristics . The solution therefore lies as stated by you above. I agree cent percent over this.