does it happen with Dads all the time

helpmeplz · Oct 1, 2015

My 2 yr old daughter is so good and nice when we are at home , she listens to everything , she washes her hand , she sits at the table eats her food
takes our help to throw the garbage in the bin and than play , she doesn't throw any tantrums , listens to everything

But the moment my husband come homes she is entirely a different species , she runs around , shouts , doesn't listen to me , she doesn't care about me , she runs after her father , falls on him sleeps on him
He brings gifts every days ( every day ) some thing to eat or cards or toys
she eats the stuff that he bring even though it is not her time

She doesn't eat her dinner well if her father is around , she doesn't stop watching TV , she keeps throwing stuff around , and dad is always doesn't say a word

I am worried that she is afraid of me rather than loving and listening to me , and her father being careless is spoiling her more

I spoke with him multiple times that each of us has to love and at the same time teach her some discipline , i always tell him being careless will spoil her
and he talks that she is JUST 2 YR OLD

How to convince

preesmiles · Oct 5, 2015

Dear OP, it's great that your daughter loves her dad so much. But its important for both the parents to be on the same page when it comes to discipline. Otherwise, things will only get harder when she grows older. It's good that she listens to you now, but if she knows that she can get away with anything with her dad, it will be difficult for you to make her listen to you later on. Toddlerhood is a time that kids test their limits so its good to establish limits of acceptable behavior now itself.

If your husband is not convinced by your words, could you maybe send your husband some articles to read about toddler behavior and the need for consistency? Also, maybe his parenting style is different and he does not want to be the strict parent. That's fine, because you can be the parent who disciplines, but the important thing is that he needs to be on your side and not oppose you in front of the child, and should present a united front. How about the two of you sit together and as a compromise decide for starters on just a couple of behaviors of your daughter that you want to correct. Maybe it's the eating dinner thing or not throwing stuff around and the next time your daughter does these things he can tell her not to do these things or when you tell her, he can back you up.

sreeram · Oct 5, 2015

I go with preesmiles, when it comes to dad, they always try to be nice to kids because they spend less time with them. Maybe this can be reason at times.

My son is 2.5yrs old, we both are strict and as well as very affectionate. We make it a point that when one is trying to discipline or scold the kid the other one will not come into it or will support the other. Even though the other one feels that the strictness is not needed in that particular situation, we tend to convey it to the other either when our son is not around us or speak in a low voice.

Even then he will take casually when i scold him at times, then i try to either avoid him or try to show him that i am very angry with him, then immediately he will change his behaviour.

Hope we are going in the right path in bringing up our little one.

twinklingstar · Oct 6, 2015

u urself have written in last line "JUST 2 Yrs OLD" . yes it is good that u discipline her and taught all good habits. what u mentioned she does after her father comes is real childhood which u should not snatch from her. let her play, laugh, eat, enjoy, do masti and have all fun. if not now then when will she do all that?? after certain age say 4 u can teach her all u want. m not saying spoil her. she is not doing anything wrong i see from ur post just enjoying and let her.....