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Does having daughters make a difference?

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by lovelydoll, Jun 1, 2010.

  1. swaram

    swaram Senior IL'ite

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    Based on my experience - My MIL has 2 daughters and 2 sons. She by herself is tolerable, but will go to any length to do damage to me and DH if it benefits her daughters in any way even 1%. My MIL also believes that my DH first responsibility (finanical/emotional/doing chores etc) in life is towards his parents/sisters/sisters family. Me and kids are my responsibility.

    The 2 SIL instigate MIL against me so much, I would prefer a MIL without daughters, so I deal with only 1 person and not a gang. Of course like others have mentioned for many MIL - their daughters are the world and this causes them to mistreat the DIL.

    Swaram
     
  2. SensitiveHeart

    SensitiveHeart New IL'ite

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    I am a new IL-ite and have been reading the forums for some time. It has helped me a lot in difficult times, when I read about other IL-ites in my same position and facing it bravely.

    Having said that, many of the posts keep accusing of MIL, FIL and SIL. Wondering if this is because younger generation has access to computers more than elder generation. I am pretty sure they have their own perspective in the situation.

    I being a DIL always try to put myself in other's place and try to understand why they react that way. Most of the times, I was able to understand my MIL's reasoning for her behavior.

    So, I am basically saying that there are people who behave indifferntly irrespective of whether they are MIL / FIL / SIL/ DIL / DH.
     
  3. radhaparth2000

    radhaparth2000 Platinum IL'ite

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    My MIL has a daughter and she treats me very well. We have been living together for last 5 years but touchwood things are good till now. There are some difference of opinion at times, but I give up thinking she manages home fully so that I don't have house hold tensions and just concentrate on my work. She too gives up at times, its all a give a take thingy that will help to sort things amicably.

    My hubby keeps telling me 'Motherinlaw cannot be a mom and a
    daughter nlaw cannot be a daughter'. I agree to this. My thinking goes little cranky now, every DIL has a mom, does it makes any difference? We have faulty DIL's also sometimes.
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2010
  4. lovelydoll

    lovelydoll Senior IL'ite

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    yeah, u may feel so but, some times a single person is enough to ruin everything :rant
     
  5. lovelydoll

    lovelydoll Senior IL'ite

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    good or bad every person has a reason to do and simply possessiveness and jealously may also be a root cause for few things dear.
    thanks for your feedback :cheers
     
  6. lovelydoll

    lovelydoll Senior IL'ite

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    Nice to hear about your relation and I feel happy also .
    Your hubby is little broad minded to say those words :thumbsup
    really lucky dear
     
  7. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    I would like to enlighten another angle of motherhood and daughterhood that can exist in this world and how far a motherhood can go to justify her daughter's habits or behaviour... even if it comes at the expense of lying about their DIL for no reason.

    Right from my school days I am used to getting up by 6 and finshing bath much before 7 and keeping breakfast for all by 8 am... however to justify her daughters' schedule of late riser, lazy at cooking and bathing I was placed always hrs beyond of the schedules that SIL did.

    When SIL and her family visited us, her husband was greatly amazed at everything and he mentioned to me.. Oh you got up early? Don't worry we're cool you can sleep... hey btw what were you cooking so early.. I thought he was mocking and pushed him aside.. hey lemme go am getting late for office... then post bath MIL mentioned in front of him.. oh you finished your bath so early today? By chance my FIL was also there and he replied... whats big deal for her.. everyday she takes it much earlier and today she's late because of all of us. She glared at him and made face.

    There are many more petty lies that a lady can speak for her DIL to prove her own daughter as best to her inlaws/family to show how lucky they're to have her as their DIL... without ever wondering the damage cos its taken for granted.
     
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2010
  8. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Sensitive you can visit all the forums and check there are allegations against father, mother, brother, sister,uncle, aunts and also good moments with each relation. There are a lot of older generation people as well who have their own forum who dont tread into this relationship section since they've passed the stage of cribbings, have got enlightened and answer to a lot of issues and are living their lives with or without tortures of new generation.

    Good that you're able to understand a lot of behaviours however there are many behaviours which are beyond comprehension and hence put forth in form of threads for others to decode for us.
     
  9. needhelp123

    needhelp123 Silver IL'ite

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    Yea, IN HER FACE!
    Your FIL did a good job! :clap
     
  10. lovelydoll

    lovelydoll Senior IL'ite

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    wow, that was a good shock, both were safe u need not open your mouth and your MIL need to close it :rotfllovely dear
    My FIL is always back of my MIL, tells that my wife does lot of work, only work....................
    as if no one does work at home :rant
    actually thing is she will sweep the house by the time the maid comes and again she will make her to do the same thing
    people thing this lady is always working, I was wondering how clever my MIL is , but this will not help any one and she will do this only I front of all especially before my DH and DH is papam amma is very hard working not like you :crazy,but I manage to do all my works and house hold also. In laws play a big game anyways
     

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