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Does divorce apply to my marriage? I was treated as roommate, stranger and now enemy

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by pm86, Jan 17, 2013.

  1. pm86

    pm86 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Ladies,
    As many of you know my situation, I am going through a very rough period. Its like I got married but not staying as married, am stuck. I do not the rules about annulment, as marriage passed beyond 1 year with not consummated. So even if I take divorce I have to face all tough consequences of divorce and after divorce, though I never lived the real married life. My desperation of marriage became my enemy. I have to explain the things to everyone in my family and friends after moving out. My life became miserable thinking about this and society. How to come out of this.:drowning
    Please help.
     
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  2. helpmeangel

    helpmeangel Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Does divorce apply to my marriage? I was treated as roommate, stranger and now e

    hi dear pm86,

    Since you are thinking of divorce now, yes, there is a chance to get your marriage annulled since it was not consummated. Let us wait for some more ladies to give more details regarding contacting a lawyer etc.
     
  3. cissyboo

    cissyboo Silver IL'ite

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    Re: Does divorce apply to my marriage? I was treated as roommate, stranger and now e

    If you are in Virginia, like your location indicates, there are very stringent rules for an annulment . Your best bet is to talk with a family law attorney and explain fully your situation. Non-consummation may be considered a type of fraud, but I'm not sure. However, many states (including VA) make it very difficult to get an annulment after two years of marriage, so go talk to an attorney as soon as possible.
     
  4. pm86

    pm86 Silver IL'ite

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    Re: Does divorce apply to my marriage? I was treated as roommate, stranger and now e

    Dear Cissy,

    I am planning to do the proceedings in India, as in USA divorce is common and very easy to take. And in USA cheating is not taken into consideration. In India marriages are taken on oaths and its serious. Marriage is not a joke, our culture and traditions are different. A person has to know his mistake as marriage and separation is not so easy for everyone.
    My husband might not be interested in marriage and responsibilities, he did for his parents pressure and society and also thinking once divorced he can live happy (without anymore pressure)with his friends and family. But I entered into relation to live with him and share my life with him. All dreams shattered, am under total loss. Married and nothing happened with what I thought.
    I am planning to file a cheating case and give a notice to my husband legally (as he does not accept his mistake) , if he accepts his mistake and start living with me its fine otherwise will go for divorce. Atleast everyone will know am not at fault. Any suggestions here.
     
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  5. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Does divorce apply to my marriage? I was treated as roommate, stranger and now e

    I feel society wil not help either way.Think about future and do what good for you.
    You said you can work in some other state.Can you do that??Do you have confidence to start your life??May be you will met someone for your betterment.I know going back to India and living may be difficult for you.
    I feel what cuteguy said.May be he is Gay.Otherwise eventhough he had affair it's impossible not to have intimacy with you.but he had to tell you the truth.
    Do you know when he is going to get GC????You need to talk to right person about your choices and to move on in life .taking revenge on him and proving to society shouldn't be your highest criteria.How to get right tools which you needed to move on should be your goal.
     
    2 people like this.
  6. sashacurios

    sashacurios Silver IL'ite

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    Re: Does divorce apply to my marriage? I was treated as roommate, stranger and now e

    I think that will be a good option... dont mind about what people think... no matter if its india or US a non consummated marriage does not stand! its enough reason for an annulment or divorce... and a very accepted reason among people too... so just go ahead with your plan with out any worries, just be frank with anyone who asks you about it...
     
  7. shyamalajh

    shyamalajh Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Does divorce apply to my marriage? I was treated as roommate, stranger and now e

    pm86,

    If you think you will get better justice in India, file in India. But remember they take more time. You will have to wait long. What is on divorce papers matters when you try getting married again. As you can read in threads on divorcees getting married again, they look thoroughly in to divorce papers. People don't help but they sure try their best to hurt if they think you are at fault. It is best to make truth known. Also it will deter people like you DH from cheating. Somebody needs to take strong stand against such sham marriages for society,etc. But no doubt, your goals are most important. Think whether all that will fit into your own plans for yourself. Make those first.

    While trying to give this marriage one last chance, be careful to not fall for any of his tricks again. Who knows, if threatened with cheating case he may consummate marriage only to avoid it. Then say that he tried to be married but you two are incompatible. You will be more hurt then. Just be careful.
     
  8. pm86

    pm86 Silver IL'ite

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    Re: Does divorce apply to my marriage? I was treated as roommate, stranger and now e

    I talked to a lawyer in India, he says that not consummating the marriage and affairs are the worst things that happened to me. So the person who should know (about affair) is her husband who needs to know whats going on. I said if my husband leaves me after this, he said let him leave, infact its me who has to leave after going through the suffering. He says if her husband is a gentleman he will understand you and see what he needs to do with her. If her dh doesnot care what happens between them then lawyer said we will think of other things. He says other incompatible things which happened between us are silly things which my dh is giving importance/reason for separation. He asked me to meet her dh asap and tell him. But I am afraid and still waiting for good chance. What should I do ladies?
     
  9. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Does divorce apply to my marriage? I was treated as roommate, stranger and now e

    This does not come across as sound legal advice to me.
    I don't think telling or not telling that woman's husband would have any legal bearing on the deliberations of a divorce court.
     
  10. pm86

    pm86 Silver IL'ite

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    Re: Does divorce apply to my marriage? I was treated as roommate, stranger and now e

    This is not legal advice. He told me if anything left to repair the marriage this can do. If her dh doesnot care then lawyer told we will think of how to proceed further
     

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